I've always been really selective when it comes to friends, every time I've tried to relax this approach a bit I've ended up in being bitten in the rear. Once very, very badly as the individual in question turned out to be a smiling knife kind of friend and did me quite a bit of harm. So nowadays I have a small group of really good friends who I know I can totally trust. Very happy with this, learnt my lesson, life is good.
Now I'm a mum I'm coming into contact with a lot of other mums, some I think are great, some I'm not so sure of. You can't like everyone and I'm sure some feel the same way about me too!
Recently one woman i met through a social event has contacted me and asked to meet up for a drink and I really don't want to get involved. From the outset I didn't really get a good vibe from her. There appear to be marital issues and she is very stressed out. She is quite abrupt generally and has been rude the couple of times I have come into contact with her, so I was a bit surprised she wanted to meet up. She is quite rough in handling her baby and it makes me wince a bit when I see it. I know after a while I'd be hard pressed not to say anything as I can bear to see children man handled.
My own life is extremely busy and any spare time I have is really precious to me as I want to spend it with my family or close friends. I don't have loads of free time to give to this lady and I just have a feeling it would go that way if I let it.
My inner voice is telling me to steer clear and not get dragged in. But on the other hand I feel a bit guilty as she is clearly going through a bad spot.
My DH thinks that she isn't interested in me as a person and just wants a shoulder to cry on. His view is once she's got what she wants she won't be interested at all. My Dh has been right in the past and I bitterly regret not listening to him before as he seems to see things more clearly than I do when emotions are involved.
How can I say that I don't want to meet up without hurting her feelings or causing tension? It's likely that I will bump into her again so I don't want there to be an atmosphere every time I do.
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How can I say no without being rude
32 replies
Boomeranggirl · 15/09/2014 14:52
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