To think I'm not a neglectful mother?

(41 Posts)
Pippin8 Mon 01-Sep-14 18:50:54

I bought DS2 (14) his school uniform last week & left the shirts & trousers in his room so he could try on for size.

I asked him last Thursday to try them on & let me know as we were going away Friday. He didn't. I asked him again last night when we returned & he didn't. I told him I'm back at work weds & won't have time to swap if nothing fits. I got up early today & went to the dentist, he was out when I got back, all the uniform still in packets.

I opened the shirts, thought they looked ok size wise, so I washed & ironed them & hung them up. I left the trousers as they looked a bit big.

He just got in & the shirts are too long. I said tough, I'm not wasting anymore of my time running round after you, you'll wear them & make the best of it. He had a major tantrum & said he won't go to school. I said fine, don't, its your future I'm past caring. He then said I'm a shit mum & will be arrested for being neglectful. I replied that no one ever went to prison for buying the wrong size school shirt.

Just to add, he does this every year, never puts any effort into anything. Nobody buys my clothes & runs round after me. He wants more privileges & independence as he's 15 in 3 weeks, but then he behaves like this.

puds11isNAUGHTYnotNAICE Mon 01-Sep-14 18:53:18

Fuck it. You can hardly force him into it. If he can't be arsed to try on some clothes then he will have to put up with the wrong sized clothing. At his age I had hand downs, nothing new!

Vitalstatistix Mon 01-Sep-14 18:56:23

No, you aren't.

He's a bit of a pain though grin

He's 14. He knew very well what you wanted him to do - and it was a really simple thing - and he couldn't be arsed.

Well, now it's bit him on the bum cos he'll look a wee bit daft. Maybe it will teach him a lesson.

Whatisaweekend Mon 01-Sep-14 18:57:51

More privileges?? With stroppy, toddler-like tantrum throwing like this, I would be stripping the privileges away, not adding more!! Honestly, you just asked him to try on a couple of bits of clothing, not climb the north face of the Eiger in his pants!!

GhoulWithADragonTattoo Mon 01-Sep-14 18:59:10

He'll just have to live with it. A slightly too long shirt isn't a big deal in the scheme of things. If he wants more he can use his own money to get them.

furcoatbigknickers Mon 01-Sep-14 19:00:17

Oh god have i got this to look forward to.

MooMaid Mon 01-Sep-14 19:00:17

Children say things they know is hurtful in a pique of spite. He probably doesn't really mean it but he should have tried the clothes on like you asked a hundred times so he only has himself to blame!

coppertop Mon 01-Sep-14 19:01:52

YANBU.

He chose not to try them on so tough luck if they don't fit.

And there certainly wouldn't be any extra privileges until he's earned them and stopped acting like an overgrown toddler.

MsAnthropic Mon 01-Sep-14 19:02:39

YABU for even asking the question! smile. Not in the slightest bit neglectful, but perhaps a little neglect in doing the things His Lordship takes for granted might go some way in showing him how good he has it, or he'll learn how to do for himself.

Lots of sympathy, that would've made me livid.

ThinkIveBeenHacked Mon 01-Sep-14 19:02:54

So you askd him to try them on as you were busy wednesday. He has tried them on today which leaves tomorrow. Maybe he just misinterpreted your instructions?

Purplepoodle Mon 01-Sep-14 19:28:32

Oh god at that age I'm still going to be marching them into the changing rooms to try uniform (reaches for a glass of wine)

FunkyBoldRibena Mon 01-Sep-14 19:31:09

'You should have thought of that when I asked you last week. Perhaps next time you will get off your arse and just fucking try the bastard shirts on'.

Ragwort Mon 01-Sep-14 19:37:57

I don't even bother to buy my DS (13) new stuff, he gets his uniform from the charity shop or even jumble sale grin. He looks like a tramp but as he doesn't care, why should I ?

Frontier Mon 01-Sep-14 19:40:48

If you did anything wrong (you didn't) it was taking the shirts out and ironing them before he'd done as you asked. I would have left them in packs and un-ironed for him to deal with on first day back if he CBA after I'd asked twice once!

londonrach Mon 01-Sep-14 19:40:49

Don't you love teenagers...so like toddlers...

ihatethecold Mon 01-Sep-14 19:42:26

Yadnbu.
Teens can drive you spare!

ilovechristmas1 Mon 01-Sep-14 19:43:38

it's just tough,ive two teens and pretty much the same

i admit i do buy a bit big but once they have been bought and i ask them to try on if they cant be arsed then i cant be arsed to change them

the only thing i would change is shoes

it's amazing with teens they never seem to have any sense of urgency or time

mind you this will be my last year with school uniform with my two as this is their last year grin

AnythingNotEverything Mon 01-Sep-14 19:44:17

Absolutely London.

DS (also 14) wouldn't show me his new school trousers when he tried when on. I haven't managed to get him to show me them since either. I've asked him numerous times if they need taking up. If he dares complain at 7.45 tomorrow morning he'll be catching the bus in his boxers.

YANBU OP.

seasavage Mon 01-Sep-14 19:50:33

YANBU
He is being self-absorbed, wrong and lazy.
His problem, you gave him plenty of warning (which you could point out any responsible teen who earns a privilege wouldn't need - it's not that hard to plan in trying on clothes in the summer holiday).

Coffeethrowtrampbitch Mon 01-Sep-14 19:52:02

I've recently had the same thing with ds1, but he is seven.

Bugger. Another eleven years! I thought he might get better as he got older <pause for hysterical laughter from parents of teens> but I shall have to accept that when it comes to clothes shopping he is very advanced for his age!

ilovechristmas1 Mon 01-Sep-14 20:17:11

Coffeethrowtrampbitch ha ha atleast your being realistic that things wont get better grin

dolphinsandwhales Mon 01-Sep-14 20:19:29

Yanbu. Well done for making him take accountability, hopefully he'll make a good husband one day with a greAt mum like you.

Pippin8 Mon 01-Sep-14 20:28:49

After a major hissy fit, including screwing the shirts into a ball & stuffing them in the bag. He then decided that actually he would wear them & apologised. I think an ironing lesson will be in order tomorrow. The trousers are way too baggy, so I will have to take them back.

Later on the cheeky sod did have the nerve to say his pencil case wasn't big enough & he needed a new bag aswell!

Why are teens so infuriating?

BlackeyedSusan Wed 03-Sep-14 22:30:37

off course you are a shit mum... we all were/are/will be apparently it wears off though when they are through puberty, mostly. grin ds is six. I am a terrible mum quite often.

if he wants independence perhaps he can start by buying his own uniform!

LadySybilLikesCake Wed 03-Sep-14 22:34:54

You told him that you were 'past caring'. He's interpreted this in the wrong way and he's bitten back.

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