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AIBU?

To get the police involved?

62 replies

MagersfonteinLugg · 17/08/2014 22:19

I will try to cut a long story short.
New family on the street, 2 boys age 11 low level bullying of my DS (6) on the park across the street. They broke our wall, and I took the trampoline down in the back garden because they kept throwing stones over the fence which ended up hitting my DS on the shoulder. Told the parents who made them apologise, but the little incidents kept happening (broken scooter, swearing at them, etc)
Last week one of the twins threw DS onto the ground and broke his collarbone. Spent all evening in A&E getting x-ray and assessment. He was given a sling to wear but no plaster cast obviously.
Informed the parents who promised to sort it and keep their boys away, but low level harrassment continued all week. Their main beef is that they don't believe he has a broken collar bone so call him a liar out on the park, etc.
Today they harrassed my DD and DN whilst they were picking blacberries and swore at them then they thre Dss scooter into the brook. This evening I heard them effing and blinding at DD again.
It takes a lot to rile me but I lost it and called the police who were very nice and told me I had done the right thing. They arranged to visit me on Tuesday.
DD was on the park so I went out to fetch her in. THEY were also there and started about DS again, how he was a liar and his collar bone was not broken and I was lying just to get them into trouble. I was calm and told them that we would see what the police thought about when they came to see me, then went inside with DD.
5 mins later I had a huge bodybuilding skinhead on my doorstep shouting abuse in my face and telling to stop fing overreacting. I explained this needed to be sorted as he had not done anything to stop the harrassment and he basically told me to Fk off, along with another member of his family who came along .
I just told him to leave and the police would sort it.
I was really upset and shaken, but I really don't think IABU to involve the police in the first place.
Was I?

OP posts:
thereturnofshoesy · 17/08/2014 22:21

do ring the police
and keep a record of every thing they do.
I speak from experience(obviously not 999 unless you are in danger)

LineRunner · 17/08/2014 22:22

No, you are not unreasonable to involve the Police. At all.

You need to give them all the medical evidence.

Funkytown · 17/08/2014 22:23

no yanbu by calling the police but i think you are unreasonable allowing your child to play without supervision if you know he is being bullied/harassed by older children

fluffymouse · 17/08/2014 22:23

Not at all unreasonable.

It's a pity these children have been so poorly raised from the sounds of it. They stand no chance.

Keep a log of everything that happens, gather all the evidence you can. I would consider installing CCTV as it sounds so severe.

When are the police visiting?

Aeroflotgirl · 17/08/2014 22:24

oh my goodness, yes definitely the Police its harrassment and GBH. They sound like a charming bunch, the apple doesen't fall far from the tree I see.

fluffymouse · 17/08/2014 22:24

I agree don't let ds out without an adult now too.

LemonBreeland · 17/08/2014 22:25

YANBU at all. Make sureuyou tell the police about the threatening behaviour from the adults too.

Aeroflotgirl · 17/08/2014 22:25

yes I was going to say that, dont let ds out unsupervised, and keep a log of everything.

Tinkerball · 17/08/2014 22:25

No. We went through hell because of our neighbours 11 year old son bullying ours, eventually we had to move. We had no option but to get the Police involved, I would do it all again.

Tinkerball · 17/08/2014 22:26

We logged everything with the Police, even when they didn't need to come out, it was all documented.

AgentZigzag · 17/08/2014 22:28

You've tried leaving it to the parents and they've done fuck all, and now they've sent two tossers round to threaten you??

Tell the police every time something happens.

It might not be the lads fault that they're like that, but the adults need to be forced into keeping them under some sort of control.

Your poor DS, how is he? To have broken his collarbone on top of feeling intimidated every time he steps out of his front door is totally unacceptable, he needs protecting, and it sounds like you're definitely the one who's going to do that.

Keep calm, be persistent and do everything by the book Flowers

maras2 · 17/08/2014 22:29

You did the right thing.I hate this bullying.There's nothing worse than feeling intimidated in your own home.Hope you're not too shakey now.

Tinkerball · 17/08/2014 22:29

I don't agree with that Funky, when it was happening to my DS ( who was a year younger) if I had stopped him going out to play he would have felt he was being "punished" for the bully's behaviour.

LadyLuck10 · 17/08/2014 22:29

Yanbu hope your DS is ok.
They sound awful but what can you expect with parents like that.
Get the police involved, hopefully it gets sorted soon.

Funkytown · 17/08/2014 22:34

tinkerball im not saying he can not go out but if it was me and my 6 year old child had his collar bone broken by two 11 year old children who have repeatedly harassed and bullied him i would not under no circumstances allow him out with out myself or my dp

TheReluctantCountess · 17/08/2014 22:34

You've done the right thing. You shouldn't be intimidated like that, and your kids should be able to do things without feeling threatened.

Are they tenants? If so, it could be worth reporting to the landlord/HA.

MagersfonteinLugg · 17/08/2014 22:36

The police are coming to see me on Tuesday.
I really don't want to stop DS or DD playing outside ( have even caught them intimidating DD on our driveway where she was sitting making loom bands). Told them to get off our property but they just moved onto the pavement and smirked so made DD come inside, so she feels like she is being punished.
Everyone I know says I should have called the police when it happened last week, but after the conversation with their dad, I hoped it would be sorted and didn;t want to make things worse.....loks like I have though.

OP posts:
ChasedByBees · 17/08/2014 22:42

You haven't. They have. You've done the righ thing - your DS's collarbone was broken!

fluffymouse · 17/08/2014 22:49

op no one is saying for you to stop your children playing outside, but from what you are saying they need an adult present with them for their own safety. It the parents are intimidating you too, it really doesn't bode well for what might happen.

I realize you don't want to hear this from us, so why not ask the police when they come round what they recommend re supervision out of the house?

AgentZigzag · 17/08/2014 22:49

Try not to think like that, you haven't done anything, but then the problem is that they fucking haven't either (ie keeping their DC under control)

gamerchick · 17/08/2014 22:53

No ring the police again and tell them of the latest. You'll have to log everything from now on.

You had people on the doorstep who made you scared.
That is police worthy.

wheresthelight · 17/08/2014 22:57

I agree, you have now been threatened amd intimidated by a grown man. Call the cops and report again. If the thug is the example being set to these brats it's no wonder they are acting like total shits yo your kids.

MagersfonteinLugg · 17/08/2014 22:59

I just find it really sad that I have to supervise them on the front of their own home. They have played outside perfectly well untill the last few months when this family moved in.
Their dad says he knows exactly what his boys are doing on the park, but from their house you can;t see the park. I seem to spend all my time these days either staring through the window at them to keep watch or taking them to a completely different park to play.
This gets to me as I don't see why MY DS has to travel to another park just to avoid THEIR kids and play in peace.
I just want them to stay away from my DCs, but if I have to I will press charges. Can I do that?

OP posts:
fluffymouse · 17/08/2014 23:03

Op the situation is very sad.

Until the situation is resolved you need to do what's best for the safety of your children. Taking them to a further away park where they are safe sounds like a good solution.

The police decide whether to press charges. Talk to them and see what can be worked out.

MagersfonteinLugg · 17/08/2014 23:04

I think it also makes it worse that DCs dad also thinks I am "overreacting". Is this just a male view or what? Am I just be over protective and should just let kids be kids as EXDH says?
Its okay for him, he doesn't have to wipe away the tears as he's not here.

OP posts:
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