To consider upgrading my engagement ring 8 years after getting married??

(78 Posts)
PisforPeter Fri 11-Jul-14 15:53:37

Has anybody else done this??
I was never too keen on my engagement ring, I didn't choose it & I thought it was on the smallish side.
Now we are better off hubby has offered to buy me a new one but I don't know what to do??
I would like to but is it a bit indulgent??

Nomama Fri 11-Jul-14 16:16:48

VU.

My engagement ring is also crap, as we too had no money. My wedding ring only cost £30. They represent who we were when we got engaged/married. I wouldn't change them just because I now find them a bit sad.

I also have an eternity ring. It was supposed to be a money no object purchase. But the ring I loved only cost £200.

Stick with it. It's my 25th this year and I look on them quite fondly. I couldn't part with them.

ExamStresses14 Fri 11-Jul-14 16:22:30

I intend to do this. DH bought me a temporary cheap ring that we never got round to replacing. I am hoping that we can get me a new one on a big anniversary ((5yrs and counting)

I think it's a bit odd tbh

2014meh Fri 11-Jul-14 16:27:27

Could you use the stones and precious metal in a new bigger design of ring. It or the process could symbolise how your love has grown and blossomed since you get married.

Migsy1 Fri 11-Jul-14 16:29:13

I think the idea of progressing onto bigger and better rings is preferable to progressing onto different marriages. So, hey yeah, why not? By the time you are 90 you could have enough diamonds to make engagement necklaces, engagement earrings, and more smile

Chocolateisa7adayfood Fri 11-Jul-14 16:30:00

YANBU to do what you like with your ring (& money), but I wouldn't do it personally - my engagement ring is just that, if you altered it it wouldn't be an engagement ring, would it? On the other hand I wouldn't mind buying a new ring to celebrate an important anniversary if i could affird it.

Julygal Fri 11-Jul-14 16:31:48

Me and DH chose the diamond for my ring in Amsterdam but I wasn't never keen on the setting, used to catch on my clothes etc. I had it altered once and then lost weight after having children and both engagement ring and wedd

HermioneWeasley Fri 11-Jul-14 16:32:58

It's common place in the states- loads of jewellers have a facility for trading up your ring

Julygal Fri 11-Jul-14 16:34:17

Oops.

Both engagement and wedding ring were too big. We came up with the idea of creating a new ring incorporating gold from both rings and added 2 more diamonds to make one single band which is now my engagement, wedding and eternity ring. Not everyone's cup of tea, but I love it.

littlepeas Fri 11-Jul-14 16:38:42

I wouldn't - I still love my rings 9 years on, but even if I didn't the sentimental value would stop me changing them. My dh chose my engagement ring and, for me, that is part of its value and appeal. I would get something for my other hand.

BristolRover Fri 11-Jul-14 16:43:02

my mum did this - went from a small solitaire to a whopping 3.5ct pear. What I think is odd is that she sold the solitaire to a friend of hers.

Anyway - I am currently considering tweaking mine - my band is set with tiny stones and the end one keeps falling out. It's been replaced 3x and the band remade altogether once. Just lost the same stone today and phoned the jeweller to discover that the lovely fella we bought from has left and the new owner doesn't sound overly inclined to be either polite or helpful, so I find myself wondering what a pair of larger baguettes or trillions would look like either side instead :-)

My mum did this too. Tbh her original ring was an awful monstrosity of a ring. She did it for their silver wedding though, so got her "money's worth" from the first ring!

ThatBloodyWoman Fri 11-Jul-14 17:06:15

I never had one.
You can do as you wish, but I've got better things to spend money on.

And fwiw I don't like my own wedding ring very much. I bought it to fit round my engagement ring but now I wish I had just gone with a plain band.

I would like to change it one day, but I can live with it for now.

ThatBloodyWoman Fri 11-Jul-14 17:07:28

My wedding ring was about £15.
I never wear it anyway .

nowahousewife Fri 11-Jul-14 17:17:10

I was married 4 yrs before getting an engagement ring but was worth the wait. At 20 yrs got a stonker of an eternity ring, but one I plan not to replace but just keep adding to the collection!grin

teaandthorazine Fri 11-Jul-14 18:08:28

A friend of mine did this a couple of years ago - had both her wedding ring and engagement ring replaced by bigger, sparklier, more expensive versions. And got a big blingy eternity ring at the same time, too.

I mean, yes, their money to do with as they wish, of course but...the idea of 'trading up' your wedding/engagement ring just seems a bit, well, odd. And yes, indulgent.

I wear an antique engagement ring that was my grandmother's. It's not necessarily what I would choose for myself but the sentimental value is so high that I would never dream of changing it. It's about what it means, surely, rather than how big it is?!

RocknRollNerd Fri 11-Jul-14 18:19:18

I don't get the judginess about the 'indulgence' with this, it's genuinely puzzling. Me and DH aren't driving the same car, living in the same place, wearing the same clothes or using the same 486 computer we had when we got married, why shouldn't we also have got new rings. I've spent more money on plenty other things (a house, a car, and a few new computer for starters grin) over the last 17 years. I just don't get why this is so frowned upon, if you can afford it and are both happy then why not?

My wedding, engagement and eternity rings are the only jewellery I wear every single day, why should I have to wear something I don't particularly like any more. It's not a measure of how I feel about DH or our marriage - I still like him just fine! I look at my rings and I still remember our wedding day, our vows, our love and our feelings for each other.

Joysmum Fri 11-Jul-14 18:23:43

I don't understand the concept?

You get an engagement ring to mark where you are at that time in life. If you 'upgrade' to another ring, it's no longer an engagement ring as you're trying to rewrite history.

By all means, ask your partner to buy you another ring and don't wear the engagement ring anymore if it's not fancy enough for you, but your engagement righ will be the one lain unworn in your jewelry box.

I didn't get an engagement ring, we couldn't afford it and I was happy to swap the ring I got for my birthday onto the other finger. Now I just wear my wedding band and the other ring stands in my jewelry box.

ChickenFajitasAndNachos Fri 11-Jul-14 18:27:34

I would probably choose a lovely eternity ring instead.

Nomama Fri 11-Jul-14 18:38:53

Rocknroll, that computer/car/dress/pair of knickers was not bought to mark a lifechanging decision... I am with Joysmum, it is the moment that is being celebrated and remembered. Anything else is just a want for more bling smile

Chicken - OP already did that!

Joolsali Fri 11-Jul-14 18:40:00

I've done that.

Princesselsaanna Fri 11-Jul-14 18:40:22

I plan on doing this. I have already had my original stone reset on a diamond band and replaced my plain wedding ring with a diamond band to match the engagement ring but I would love to replace my main stone. We both chose it together but never really liked it that much but it was what we could afford at the time and I would like a big stonker of a stone and yes I am that shallow. It's much much cheaper to do this via a good dealer in Hatton garden, not in the shops who make crazy mark ups, I wouldn't ever buy diamonds retail. I'm lucky enough to have a fair bit of nice jewellery now and we always buy trade and save literally thousands.

MardyBra Fri 11-Jul-14 18:43:29

Have you upgraded your question mark button to a bigger one too? wink

lecherrs Fri 11-Jul-14 18:46:01

Nope not at all.

I only had a cheap engagement ring, as I don't like the look of lots of rings together, and knew that the moment I got married, the engagement ring would come off. Sure enough it did. Occasionally when I get bored of my wedding ring, I take it off and wear the engagement ring in its place. In fact, I have about three different wedding rings that I swap over because I get bored of them blush.

However, next year is my 40th, and I've asked DH for a new ring that combines engagement, wedding and eternity in one. Something nice and jazzy (but not overly expensive as I know I'll get bored in a few years, and probably have another one for my 50th grin).

I do keep my originals in my jewellery box though. Sometimes I did them out, but I can't say that they do anything for me sentimentally.

So if you have a sentimental attachment to your ring, then possibly another ring just wouldn't compare, but if like me you're not particularly attached to your rings (I'm not really a jewellery person), then go for it. You can always swap them round again when you get bored.

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