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AIBU?

to want to go to the school and take my DD out now!!!!!!

52 replies

pingufan · 08/07/2014 10:47

Bit of background to the story...

Daughter is in year 6 of local primary. This primary has 2 main feeder schools and over the years all the kids went to School 1. Hardly anyone went to School 2 as it was geographically further away. 2 was always a higher performing school than 1 but that never seemed to affect the parents choice until last year when it became apparent that the head of the primary was influencing parents and children to go to school 2. That year almost all the kids went to school 2. Through the grapevine we heard that the head had fallen out with the head of school 1 and that was why she was influencing the kids to go to school 2.

My son went to school 1 two years ago as the school was 'on the up' moving up from band 5 to band 2 - my son has thrived there without problems at all so we had decided to send our daughter to the same school. About half the class is going too but this is where the problems have surfaced.

There have been numerous examples of favouritism to the children going to school 2. Lots of little things - events held at school 2, teachers coming down from school 2 to teach but whenever school 1 has offered workshops and events the head declines or makes it difficult for our kids to attend. Before christmas there was a transition event held at school 2 so myself and the other parents whose kids were going to school 1 stopped our children going. This resulted in our children being shouted at by the class teacher and belittled in front of the other children. I went into school and complained and was assured that no favouritism is taking place but it is just so obvious to see!

There has been numerous incidents - our kids have been given tranisition letter at the last minute, no transport provided etc - basically the head is making it as difficult as possible for our kids to attend events.

Today has been the last straw. There is a show on at the school my daughter is going to and all of the year 5 & 6 from the primary have been invited. Head has declined as they will be missing too much school due to the strike on Thursday! The other school had a 2 day residential trip last week!!! It was ok for them to go to that!

My blood is boiling - I'm tempted to go to the school and get my daughter and take her to the comp to watch the show myself!

WWYD?

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ButEmilylovedhim · 08/07/2014 10:53

I would do just that! Can't believe adults could act like this, they are in the wrong job. Absolutely dreadful to make the transition harder for still young children. I don't know how they are squaring it with themselves.

I would take your DD to every event from now on. At least, you will both be away from the lot of them and will never have to see them again!

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ButEmilylovedhim · 08/07/2014 10:53

I mean, very soon you will away from the lot of them!

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hellsbellsmelons · 08/07/2014 11:01

Yep - go get her and take her along to it.
You must be able to escalate this to the Governors or the LA to get this resolved for others.

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HSMMaCM · 08/07/2014 11:06

Yes. She's nearly finished there anyway. Just take her.

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Ilovehamabeads · 08/07/2014 11:09

Take her!

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mumeeee · 08/07/2014 11:12

I agree with the other posters just go and get her and take her to the show. I would also put in a complaint to the Governors.

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katrina81 · 08/07/2014 11:15

Yes go and get her, blatant favouritism going on there.

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HavanaSlife · 08/07/2014 11:16

Id take her and put in a complaint

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Thumbwitch · 08/07/2014 11:19

Yep, do it.

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Stinkle · 08/07/2014 11:29

Yes, do it! And complain as well.

We had similar issues here when DD1 did her transition to our local high school last year - it is well known that the head of the high school hates the head of our primary - our primary was excluded from all sorts of stuff regarding transition, including the actual move up days. Primary head had to go through the LA in the end.

Friends with children currently in year 6 have said it's been brilliant this year, so the LA intervention has worked

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TheHoneyBadger · 08/07/2014 11:31

just go get her and take her. it is ridiculous.

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TheHoneyBadger · 08/07/2014 11:34

if you have accepted the place at her next school then if i was you i'd go into school today with a letter officially deregistering her from their school with the intention of elective home educating for the rest of the school year and have a nice early start to the school holidays.

why put her through this nonsense?

there's no way they're doing much of anything at this stage of the year and in fact they're so focussed on school 2 activities and stuff it's being detrimental.

just take her out. and when the local authority contacts to talk to you about home edding tell them she's going to school 1 in september, that the school was blocking induction events and refusing to facilitate her transition so you've decided to do it yourself.

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Dontgotosleep · 08/07/2014 11:39

Go and get your D.D .O.P. I made numeous complaints about favortism when d.d was in primary school. It really gets my goat. x

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pingufan · 08/07/2014 12:08

Thanks guys - its exactly what I did - went over & collected her - said my piece and she's now down the comp enjoying the show. The secondary school have been marvellous and accepted that there have been 'issues' with this head.

Not fair on all the other kids who missed out though :(

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dawndonnaagain · 08/07/2014 12:15

Good on you!

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pingufan · 08/07/2014 12:19

Waste of time formally complaining though - the chair of governors and the head are in each others pockets - he's just as passionate about sending the kids to the other school too (as its in his constituency - he's also a local governor)

Looking at the complaints procedure of the school all complaint must be made to the head first - she is just saying that she's stopping them going due to too much missed school with the strike on Thursday - we can all see through her though!

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katrina81 · 08/07/2014 12:24

Well done OP, still worth a formal complaint to the school though, then they have to keep a copy on file.

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pingufan · 08/07/2014 12:35

This may be a silly question but I'm sick of going over the school to be fobbed off by this woman - I end up coming out feeling like I'm in the worng every time.

Can the formal complaint be by email? I'm not prepared to waste any more time seeing her face to face - shall I email the LEA too at this point?

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WhereYouLeftIt · 08/07/2014 12:36

Would it be worth complaining to the Local Authority, if you don't think the formal complaint route would be worthwhile - and tell them why you came straight to them rather than the Governors? Wouldn't affect you personally, but might help those 'left behind' IYSWIM.

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katrina81 · 08/07/2014 12:41

Yes from previous experience the LEA did listen, and acted upon it. Got to be worth a try?

Email should be fine, just state that this is a formal complaint.

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Ilovehamabeads · 08/07/2014 12:46

Well done for taking her, I'm glad she got to see the show :)
Complain by email to the LEA if you're being fobbed off.

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pingufan · 08/07/2014 12:46

Grrr I just appear to go round & around - the LEA say that the first step is to contact the school, then the governors - they will not accept complaints if they havent follwed procedure.

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SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 08/07/2014 13:26

Local press? Then the LEA might be forced to take notice without you having gone through the 'proper procedure'.

And yes, well done for taking her - you did absolutely the right thing, and this HT is behaving abominably.

One thought - have you made a comprehensive list of all the things that have happened for the children going to school 2, and the things that the School 1 pupils have been prevented from attending - and all the things like late letters etc? That will be valuable information to back up your complaint.

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Floggingmolly · 08/07/2014 13:29

How many "events" can there possibly be?? Confused

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Almostfifty · 08/07/2014 14:24

So you contact the Head, then the Governors, and then the LEA. If you're that unhappy, do it. The LEA will take notice if you've gone through the correct procedures.

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