to think that DH saying I look like Max Wall is an insult?

[cardamomginger]

I get it whenever I wear black leggings. Don't get me wrong, I like Max Wall. I very much enjoy his portrayal of Vladimir in Waiting for Godot. But I don't, as a woman who is still relatively young and occasionally strays into the territory of being fashionable, want to be told that I look like him.

DH says that it is at worst neutral and actually a compliment. When pressed, he says it is because Max Wall had skinny legs, so I should be pleased. I've pointed out that I would rather be compared to someone who has lithe, slender yet shapely legs. Not someone who has 'old man' skinny legs.

Given that DH never says anything about my appearance at all, other than this, AIBU to feel pissed off and insulted?

[cardamomginger]

So there is no room for confusion:

[KurriKurri]

He's very rude, I'm sure you look fab in your leggings.

secretly snorts with laughter at 'Max Wall' comment

[cardamomginger]

Thank you!

I said I would put it to the Mumsnet Jury .

Wanker.

[Latara]

Ignore him and wear leggings, and skinny jeans too if you want to as they are all fashionable. If you have slim legs you can get away with a lot & you are very lucky.

But I would be annoyed - men don't think sometimes and now he's trying to dig himself out of a hole by saying it's a compliment.

[Cocolepew]

My Dad used to say this, when I wore leggings and DMs. I don't think he meant it as a compliment

[BauerTime]

I think that's hilarious actually OP. Id have just taken it as a friendly ribbing about wearing leggings in general. Its like wearing a fez (sp?) and getting arsey if someone calls you Tommy Cooper.

Why are you getting upset about it? Its a joke surely?

[cardamomginger]

And he says it in front of other people. Including his mates.

Wanker.

Sorry. Already said that.

Tosser.

[ForeskinHyena]

If it actually upsets you then yes, he is being very rude. If a you laugh along with it, he can dismiss it as a joke, but the danger is that you then become complicit in the insult.

If someone has credits in the bank by being generally complimentary about your appearance then the odd joke doesn't sting too much, but when all you ever hear is jokes or insults it wears down your self esteem.

I can't tell from your post if this is light hearted or you are genuinely upset. What I will say is that the moment I decided to leave my ex was when he said I looked like. Bubbles DeVere from Little Britain and didn't understand why I cried

[cardamomginger]

Bauer I'm annoyed because it's every single fucking time and it is the ONLY thing he ever says about my appearance. If it was occasional and in the context of other comments about my appearance (that were hopefully straightforwardly complimentary) then I wouldn't mind so much. Plus it's in front of his mates.

[cardamomginger]

Bubbles Devere! Man, that's BAD!!!! Not surprised you LTB. Yikes.

I've also had a very hard time over the last few years after DD's birth - multiple serious birth injuries and several very major operations - and my self-confidence and my feelings about myself, my 'femininity' (hate that word, but it'll do in this context) and my body have really taken a serious knock. I'm getting that back now, as my health improves and I'm able to exercise properly again. And all I get is sodding Max Wall .

[FayeKorgasm]

What an idiot OP, yours too Foreskin.

Have on me!

[NollaigShona]

YABU!!!

I look like Max Wall and I is gawjuss!!

[cardamomginger]

But are you a 70 year old man, Nollaig? In which case, fair enough.

[NollaigShona]

Hey, 69 and a half!

[cardamomginger]

. The half is always so important!

[wigglybeezer]

My Dad used to say the same thing when I wore leggings and boots in the eighties, if it was boots and a long skirt he said I looked like Old Mother Riley!

Your DH is being unreasonable and so was my Dad (who looks like Groucho Marx).

[KurriKurri]

Oh I'm sorry I was flippant now - I thought you were being jokey.

Seriously, ignore me- I look like Wee Jimmy Crankie and my 'H' has fucked off with a Romanian tart 25 years younger than him. So what do I know! But truly I get the lack of confidence thing - it's horrid when you feel that way.

He is a wanker and a tosser if he is hurting your feelings, tell him he looks like Anne Widdicombe next time he's about to go out somewhere.

[RiverTam]

when I was a goth and wore black all the time my dad was forever telling me I looked like Max Wall. I ignored him as what the hell did a 50 something dad know about style, hmmm?

I'd be bloody peeved if DH said it and astonished that he knew who Max Wall was.

[BauerTime]

cardamom ah i see, i was just imagining that it was more jokey than that. Have you told him how you feel about it? Especially when in front of his mates as i can imagine how that may feel to you like he is putting you down.

[cardamomginger]

S'ok. Don't mind the odd bit of flippancy in amongst the loveliness from you all . (That's the POINT DH - flippancy in the general context of loveliness is fine!! Dickwad.)

I tell him, but I'm just being too sensitive, blah blah blah. TBH it feels like it is part of a general picture where DH gets to say/do what he wants and it's up to me to modify my thinking or response to it all.

[WorraLiberty]

At least it's because of your legs and not because of your hair

[MelanieCheeks]

I am sooooo chanelling my inner Max Wall at the minute.

I broke a bone in my ankle a few weeks back, so high heels are out. I found a pair of colourful embroidered baseball boots, and I've been wearing them with leggins'n'tunic. But there's definitely a whiff of Wall about the look. It's clearly bang on trend - congratulations!

[BeeBlanket]

:o at us all in here knowing who Max Wall is. This is thread to confuse the younger generation.

OP he sounds insensitive and I think the only way to get through to him is with a similar insult.

[Toadinthehole]

Perhaps he means you look like the mad old king in Jabberwocky

[NollaigShona]

I have a philosophy. It's all my own so probably not very well thought out but it involves style. Whether it's the way you have your home, the music you listen to, the way you spend your time and the way you dress. It's all yours. It's how you express yourself. It's what makes you comfortable or excites you.( and I bet you rock the leggings as do I...but I have a fat arse so maybe more Ann Widdicombe than Max Wall. Feck I looked better when I was more like Max Wall....)
Anyway style is personal and I say develop your own and celebrate it. Your style is special, individual, different.