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AIBU?

Aibu to go back to work pregnant

29 replies

Amiasbadasthem · 19/04/2014 15:24

My workplace were very unhelpful last year as after I suffered a miscarriage with my first pregnancy I was told to sort it out and get back to work ASAP. I then fell pregnant again and Unfortunately was in and out of hospital during the pregnancy. I am now off on maternity and have a perfect dc :) I had a meeting a couple of weeks ago and was told they were restructuring meaning I had no choice but to take a slightly different role on my return or given my new circumstances I may wish to consider resigning my post. It would also mean that there would be another manager above my managerial position. I have been told I couldn't go for the new role because of my sickness absence and it was implied my age. I have been praised a lot during my career for the work I have done so this upset me. I have since found out someone that is in my team will be likely to become my manager.... There is more to this story but don't want to be recognised. Anyway myself and my husband had been considering having another child, but before the meeting I felt a duty to return to work for a while before trying as I didn't/don't want to let anyone down. ( I have unloved 3 days off ill in my whole career before becoming pregnant) Now I'm just thinking that waiting is silly (especially as if an illness returns children will be out of the question) would ibu to go back to work pregnant then go in maternity leave soon after which would entitle me to full maternity pay again (if I am lucky enough to become pregnant again).

OP posts:

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3DcAndMe · 19/04/2014 15:28

I think yanbu

All companies must be aware this can happen

Floggingmolly · 19/04/2014 15:30

I would.

HelenHen · 19/04/2014 15:30

Yanbu... Or it would be illegal! Good luck

CunningAtBothEnds · 19/04/2014 15:31

do it. they are discriminating as pregnancy based illness can not be held against you. so fuck the bastards!!

Amiasbadasthem · 19/04/2014 15:34

That made me laugh!! That's how I now feel having been a very loyal employee for years. I know it's discrimination and I know I could screw them over for a lot of things that they have done but to be honest I feel they are not worth it and getting pregnant would make me very happy and them not! So it's a win win (but a part of me feels guilty as like I said I am normally so loyal)

OP posts:

eagerbeagle · 19/04/2014 15:37

OP, if your work are counting pregnancy relates sickness absence against you they are unlawfully discriminating against you. EHRC advice

Similarly the intimation that you resign is not appropriate.

O and yanbu, you owe your employer no favours if they treat you like this.

schmee · 19/04/2014 15:38

I think you should be looking at whether this is constructive dismissal. I would hesitate to take the approach that getting pregnant will entitle you to full maternity pay, as I suspect they might make you redundant in the meantime. Please take some professional advice.

BTW something similar to what is happening to you now (although much less obvious) happened to me during my maternity leave. I felt I had a good case for constructive dismissal but ended up negotiating redundancy instead as that was what I wanted and couldn't face the hassle.

Amiasbadasthem · 19/04/2014 15:50

I don't want to give too much away in fear of being recognised but I am in a job whereby making me redundant is not an option for them as my role is a necessity and I would have to be replaced. It is a public sector job where redundancies happen only of the establishment is closing down (not possible) and so I have great job security. I have spoken to hr who have confirmed I would have to return to work for weeks 17 to 29 to receive the full package again. In away redundancy would be great :)

OP posts:

Amiasbadasthem · 19/04/2014 15:51

Oh and thanks for the replies :) makes me feel a lot more fired up towards them and a lot less guilty!

OP posts:

Runningtrainers · 19/04/2014 16:00

I did this! Didn't go down to well but my DC are my life and they come way before any job. DD was 7 months when I returned to work and I was 5 months pg, I got the same maternity package for both DCs.

Do it and don't think twice about it.

ElseaStars · 19/04/2014 16:04

I would do what makes you happy OP. Your not doing anything illegal so do what makes you happy

pommedeterre · 19/04/2014 16:40

I would normally say I think this is a bit unfair but if they were shitty over things previously I guess the guilt is erased somewhat!

helenthemadex · 19/04/2014 17:09

I did this as well, went back to work after maternity leave 4 months pregnant

Purplepoodle · 19/04/2014 17:16

Only thing to be carful of is that I had to work so many weeks to qualify for my second maternity leave pay so I couldn't go back to work and be more than 12 weeks pregnant so I could work enough qualifying weeks.

riverboat1 · 19/04/2014 17:17

When I was younger I would have said that would be unreasonable.

But as an older, more feminist person I think it is reasonable.

It's a shame for your company, but you have been a loyal employee for years. You have earned this, and it is not illegal. If they get sniffy, I would point out both of those things and try not to get drawn into any guilt tripping.

RuddyDuck · 19/04/2014 17:56

If you have a very good sickness record apart from your pregnancy, then they can't hold your sickness record against you. I would seriously seek done legal advice about that, as it is unlawful discrimination I think.

zeezeek · 19/04/2014 18:01

You complain about the fact that they have downgraded you and imply they want to get rid of you and then you want to take the piss a little bit more??? That is exactly the reason why employers are acting as they do towards women.

OddBoots · 19/04/2014 18:10

zeezek "...take the piss a little bit more?" At what point has she taken the piss at all? She's had a miscarriage and a difficult pregnancy, neither of which is her fault, she's done absolutely nothing wrong but been treated badly for it.

CurlyBlueberry · 19/04/2014 18:14

I've just returned to work pregnant and will be there around 6 months before leaving again. This way they've known I'm leaving from the start and have been able to tailor my work appropriately, giving me some project pieces to sort out etc. How is it any more piss-taking than going back to work, spending a year there and getting comfortable and then just when everyone is used to you being back, getting pregnant and leaving again? It isn't.

I say go for it!

Bodicea · 19/04/2014 18:18

definately not allowed to count pregnancy related illness on your sickness record. I would check with hr what your sickness officially is?

bakingaddict · 19/04/2014 18:20

Zeezek are you Katie Hopkins? Because you seem to talk absolute drivel just like her

OP talk to ACAS and get your union rep involved if you are in a union. Legal advice would be great but I don't know how much this would cost you. Maybe look at a free half hour consultation. I have travelled this road before and it is very stressful but luckily I had a solicitor from a law center so my case was done pro bona

NeedsAsockamnesty · 19/04/2014 18:26

YANBU they are

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zeezeek · 19/04/2014 18:26

No, I'm not. I'm just someone who cares about women having a fair chance to get on in life and in work. I've known lots of small businesses who have said that they now won't employ women of child bearing age for exactly these reasons. I think that women need to be realistic and maybe accept that if they want their children close to one another in age, then they might have to take a back seat career-wise for a while.

I'm also someone who had two children quickly - but I made sure that I did my job (and yes, I was ill and they were both difficult pregnancies) and got back to work quickly and never gave anyone the chance to complain.

It sounds as if OP wants to do this because she feels that her employers treated her badly and so she's now doing tit for tat. It's a bit childish. They don't care about you or what you're going through. They employ you to do a job, that's all, and if you can't do it, then they will replace you. That's reality.

BikeRunSki · 19/04/2014 18:27

You won't be the first or last person to do this. When it happened to me as a manager (of pregnant woman), was actually not a problem, as we just extended her maternity cover.

bakingaddict · 19/04/2014 18:43

Zeezeek read what you said in your first sentence. 'I'm just someone who cares about women having a fair chance to get on in life and work'. This is what every women wants but when you get an unscrupulous employer who tries to downgrade women by virtue of having a difficult pregnancy who precisely is being fair. An employer still has a duty of care towards an employee and while your soldering on mentality is somewhat commendable it doesn't really help a women's right to be treated equally in the workplace in the long run.

In my line of work once you have kids you get put on the perceived 'mummy track' and promotion is very hard. Employers need to be shaken out of this attitude if we are to see more working mums achieving success at the very highest levels

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