Can't believe what I am reading...(359 Posts)
Some people think that it's ok to give a child alcohol (as long as over the age of 5)
What the actual fuck?
Heartbrokenmum73 Sat 04-Jan-14 13:16:15
"I was always under the impression that they didn't actually give small children any wine, but maybe it varies from church to church. My ex is a Catholic and at services I've been to with him children weren't given any wine. I'm an atheist so have only been to church on a few occasions, so don't know the ins and outs of it, tbh."
Traditional practice has been that in Catholic churches it is normally the celebrating priest who communicates with both bread and wine, while the congregation usually just gets the bread.
In Protestant churches the tendency has been for both priest and congregation to partake of both parts. And this would include any child who has been confirmed, so probably from age 11-13 in many churches (Catholic children tend to be confirmed younger). So the dividing line is not one by age as such but by denomination and whether you have been confirmed.
I read the first page and skipped the rest.
My mum and dad made their own beer and wine and I was always allowed some. When I got to senior school, my mates saw alcohol as a way to show how grown up they were and to rebel. They got pissed up on cheap booze on street corners and the park and school discos. I thought they were pathetic! Alcohol had no mysteries and no draw got me.
My daughter is also allowed to drink if she wants to. On the continent kids drink too. I suspect the UK's binge drinking culture is due to prudes who see it as to be avoided at all costs rather than part of life to be enjoyed in moderation.
And I replied to your post explaining that earlier
It was me that said Groundhog Day to lteve referring only to the fact that she had said numerous time WHY she did what it did!!!
It had nothing to do with anyone disagreeing with her, just that they kept asking the same bloody question when she had already answered it many times
To repeat the ground hog day comment was fuckall to do with everyone disagreeing it was about her repeating herself....repeatedly!!!!!
I didn't say anything about 'Groundhog Day' MakeEveryDayCount.
No, I never said YOU did, , but somebody else did (sorry, can't find the post now!)
Said something like "do you want a wall to bang your head against, LtEve, as it's like Groundhog Day!"
I was merely pointing out that it's not Groundhog Day if it's a lot of people saying the same thing, they're entitled to their opinions and are not forced to have seen every single post
as it's 15 pages long
I think the alcoholic thing is more about growing up watching your parents drink a lot rather than having the odd sip of booze
We were given alcohol in small amounts as children. All 5 of us have very high tolerance and history of binging. But - on both sides, there are 3 generations of alcoholics. Both parents drank every day, DF a lot (couple of gins, lager then whiskey.)
I'm not an alcoholic, but I do have to keep an eye on it! I think it is nature rather than nurture - we all smoked as well, despite our parents hating it.
My kids are 10, 8 and 5, none have shown any interest yet. They're all after the diet coke I mix my drink.with though!
If any asked, I would let them have something, e.g a sherry or a shandy.
I wouldnt know how a 7month old would react to alcohol but I can tell you that my 1 year old adored the sip of his dads cider that he got before we ripped it out of his hands! Yes DH was told off for that one!
Ooops! I see now your DS is 4 and a half i did think 7 months was a bit young!
AllDirections Yes like smacking. The careful taps that we decided are ok and which are legal despite those who would make it illegal to even go near their own child.
As for patronising have you seen what a small number of posters have been saying? Let's hear what you have to say about those calling it repulsive and insane. You will presumably be outraged at them.
I was called a 'child abuser' who should have the police called because I said I would give my 4yr and 7month DS a sip of alcohol for New Years.
People were 'literally shaking' at the thought of it!
The fact that it is legal doesn't automatically make something 'right' but it does show that the vast majority of people consider it perfectly ok.
Those getting worked up about it might want to ask around because you will find you really are in a minority. Not because other people don't care, but because other people have thought it through.
I have found that I'm in the minority in real life too but I'm still happy with my stance on this. To insinuate that parents who let their kids have alcohol have thought it through and the parents that don't let them haven't thought it through is very patronising.
Wow long thread! I hope I'm sensible about alcohol and I hope I'll teach Ds to be so too, but who knows about how easily addicted he ll be as a character, I suspect that's a major factor.
shirty - if you don't drink, its not part of your culture. but if they show an interest, will you let them explore that safely at home or will you leave them to drink cider in the park?
The fact that there's no need to give a child alcohol is not a good argument. As someone pointed out there's no need to give them coke or even chocolate (which btw is also addictive).
What you have to show is that it is harmful to do so and that's not been done.
As I said earlier I am not a fan of alcohol at all. I'd be just as happy if it ceased to exist, but that's because of those who overdo it. It's not dangerous in small quantities.
For those saying they would choose not to that is fine. Those claiming it is a terrible thing to do and being nasty about it need to come back with some evidence.
The fact that it is legal doesn't automatically make something 'right' but it does show that the vast majority of people consider it perfectly ok. Those getting worked up about it might want to ask around because you will find you really are in a minority. Not because other people don't care, but because other people have thought it through.
Shirty no I don't think so, carry on doing what works for you that's what I say. Everyone has got their own parenting methods and as long as you are doing your best that's OK. Obviously I'm not saying let them go off to bed with a litre bottle of smirnoff/20 superkings but you get what I'm saying. I'm sure your doing fine! Your not the only parent to not have any alcohol (i had many friends that's parents didn't have the special occasion rule either) and they all turned out fine to!
shirtysocks if you are not demonising it and your children are aware of alcohol but not fussed by it then I don't really think you will have a problem.
In an earlier post I mentioned a lady whose mum refused to have alcohol in the house and who is now an alcoholic. I truly believe this is because she was forever being told of the 'evils' of drink and so therefore it was a forbidden fruit. Ad she had a very contrary attitude in her teenage years!
It's interesting, but as a child, at parties and the like, I always remember my father ordering coffee and not drinking alcohol. Possibly this was because he was a professional lorry driver at the time. That stands out for me more than those people over-indulging in the dreaded alcohol. Or perhaps I never saw anyone drunk when I was younger.
I was only ever properly drunk once. I've never been drunk since because it wasnt a nice sensation, I didn't like being ill, and I just don't think it's ladylike.
I was given a small glass of bucks fizz on christmas day with my lunch at that age. I would've loved a baileys though :P
Can I ask a sensible question here?
Neither DH or I drink alcohol. I used to but don't enjoy it enough to bother with the hangovers (was only a social drinker, actually don't like the taste of alcohol at all) and dh has never drunk.
So going on the basis of this thread - are our dc now going to be rabid binge-drinkers or alcoholics because they aren't being introduced to drink.
We never say drink is bad and they know I used to drink and they do no what being drunk means (and some of the consequences). They see other people drinking around them (friends and family) - I asked my DS if he wanted a sip of his uncle's beer the other day when we were there and he said no. We do not demonise or disapprove of alcohol. So what now. Should we have booze in the house so they can try it when they are a bit older?!
not at all. drinking alcohol is part of the culture i grew up in and having a drink with friends is a social ritual. alcohol isn't something magic that becomes part of life at the age of eighteen. bringing up children to know what it is and how/how not to use it is part of preparing them for adult life. parents would be irresponsible if they chose not to do that.
cider drinking in the park isn't normal or acceptable - partly because of the amounts consumed but mainly because children should already know not to hang around in playgrounds. that's just like the groups of teenagers hanging around outside asda every night - evidence the two girls sitting by the shopping trolleys last night. sad waste of life. they'd be better off in a restaurant, with their parents, having a glass of wine with their meal.
There are some very uptight people on this thread. I am actually shocked at the amount of people that agree with the op. but perhaps I am odd!
Why do they get it because they want it? I don't understand why you wouldn't just say no. My parents would get us something special to drink at midnight or whatever that was non alcoholic.
I also don't see why they need to have alcohol on special occasions. Isn't that just setting them up to associate alcohol with occasions?
I wasn't allowed any alcohol when I was younger, until about 17 when dad would buy me a bottle of beer at a weekend.
I wasn't allowed down the park at weekends, when my mates were all drinking cider.
I am an alcoholic, in recovery now, and all my cider down the park friends are all normal drinkers.
Whether to 'break your kids in' or not, if they are going to be alcoholics they will be.
Chemical sweeteners can vastly change a child's personality.
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