To think that a vast proportion of umsnetters are not having the Christmas they would like?

(90 Posts)
Sparklingbrook Tue 24-Dec-13 21:19:46

They are either-

Going to other peoples' houses that they don't want to go to, and eat food they don't want to eat with people they don't want to speak to.

or

Having people round that they don't want round, who tell them what they want to eat (and when) and they don't want to speak to.

confused grin

merryduckingchristmas Wed 25-Dec-13 23:47:28

This has officially been the worst Christmas ever.

There was a massive blown out of all proportion arguement this morning between my brother and sister which has split the family.

I don't usually drink but now find myself a little drunk very pissed off and wish to just curl into a ball and die

LadyBeagleEyes Wed 25-Dec-13 23:22:36

Well I've had a lovely day and even been able to cater very well for a veggie who ate more than anyone else.

JingleBrains Wed 25-Dec-13 23:06:16

YANBU hmm

YouTheCat Wed 25-Dec-13 22:56:30

I really don't get the whole 'I don't like this present' attitude at all, even if you get something worth a tenth of what someone else is given. It is the thought. Especially when there are those who have got bugger all because their dps haven't been bothered and that kind of thing.

FanFuckingTastic Wed 25-Dec-13 22:45:58

I think having a moan is fair enough, I whinge about little things too, but I have gotten some perspective on how sometimes I was moaning about things that now I'd be grateful for, my step dad and I argued loads and I am sure I have had loads to say about that, but being without him now just makes me see how insignificant those little quarrels were. I let them be bigger in my own head, now I'd love to have him here, even if we had a Christmas day nag about the same old stuff.

RodneyTheChristmasElf Wed 25-Dec-13 18:12:36

This is my first Christmas without my dad, doesn't stop me being annoyed/irritated by relatively minor stuff.

HerculaPoirot Wed 25-Dec-13 11:51:32

It's not ideal for us as DH has been called in for nightshift (emergency services). However, for the first time ever, it's just the three of us for Christmas morning. We are watching Santa themed films, eating selection boxes and I'm the only one dressed yet.

We will have a light lunch at about one, then head off, me to my family (I'd rather stay home but my brother is home with his family for first time in four years) and DH to work.

Maybe next year we will get our Christmas. I'm still having fun though. Hope everyone else does too.

Im on my own, was going to enjoy a nice chilled day with my dogs but my oldie daisy could only manage half her walk as the pins in her front leg are going. Its become apparent this will be our last bit of time together so feeling very teary.

Our Christmas sucks. Kids got a tummy bug a few days beforehand. I was ill until Xmas Eve so we had to miss the big family Polish Xmas Eve and postpone Christmas dinner, which I cook, till Boxing Day. Finally thought we were all okay and going to have a good day... And now it is 6am and my husband is throwing up. Another 48 hours minimum before we can do all the family things we love. And one child hasn't been sick yet...

Mary, someone always has it worse than everyone else. That's life.

That doesn't mean people aren't allowed to whinge about their own lives.

That's also life.

moldingsunbeams Wed 25-Dec-13 10:48:58

I would like to be on a beach in the sun however I am with family and my mum is rather poorly so taking each Christmas as it comes because who knows what happens next year.

FutTheShuckUp Wed 25-Dec-13 10:33:49

Exactly Maryz.
Ive seen people on here whining about cards, presents that are not to their liking, in laws, not getting a lie in etc whereas some people will be 'celebrating' their last christmas or first one without a loved one. I know all problems are relevant to the person suffering but sometimes a bit of perspective wouldn't go amiss

MidniteScribbler Wed 25-Dec-13 10:08:45

I had the christmas I wanted, with my DS and an elderly aunt, which is all the family that we have. We slept in, had a late lunch and spent the afternoon in the pool with a bottle of Moet and the dogs. I would have loved for my parents to still be with us and to spend the day, but sadly it was not to be, so I just enjoyed what we had. I have spent many years upset over what I don't have, and it's taken me many years to appreciate that Christmas day can be what I make of it.

Usually my Christmas is like that. But this year after going no contact with my mother 6 months ago we decided to go away for Christmas. So we've rented a cottage and its just me, DH, dd1 & 2 and DSD. Its fantastic! We're staying in our PJ's all day, watching TV, kids playing with their toys and eating lots and lots of food. No where to go and no one we have to please. fgrin

MaryzBoychildCheeszuzCrizpz Wed 25-Dec-13 09:29:06

Tee, I think fut was saying that the minor whingers seemed insensitive to those who have lost loved ones, not the other way around.

I don't think that's anyone's intention, but it's worth bearing in mind.

MaryzBoychildCheeszuzCrizpz Wed 25-Dec-13 09:27:54

There are some very sad posts on this thread. flowers to all who are grieving.

dancingwithmyselfandthecat's post really stood out to me because 20 years ago I was in exactly the same position as her and it was awful.

Christmas is a time for children, and those who have lost children, or lost the children they should have had, will feel that grief very strongly at this time of year sad

I think reading this thread has made me truly grateful, and it does put into perspective some of the whinging threads about in-laws, and trifle, and distances to travel, and the fucking "mil wants to do Santa traditions differently" that crop up a lot at this time of year.

So to everyone, I wish you the happiest Christmas you can have in the circumstances, and to those who are really struggling, wishing you a better (even a little bit better) next year.

What Fut? Should those who have lost people just not talk about it because it makes you uncomfortable and it isn't sensitive of the rest of us to give them comfort?

Seriously?

Talk about an insensitive post.

Hugs to everyone who is missing someone this Christmas, no matter the circumstances.

HappyCliffmas Wed 25-Dec-13 08:15:49

Dancing & Expat <hugs>

My DB died many years ago. Time takes the sting away but Christmas is always hard as there is someone missing, who will never join us. Consequently my DPs don't really celebrate it as - understandably - they still find it very hard. They have lots of GC though and enjoy visiting relatives to watch the kids open their presents. Me & DH tend to stay at home (different country) as we aren't too fussed about it - it's more an opportunity to spend some time together.

Sugar - keep your head held high and smile. In a room full of 30 people I'd bet money that there will be at least one person envying you the fact that you are single thanks

ComposHat Wed 25-Dec-13 00:51:44

I am 33 and have not had a Christmas doing something I want to do.

Right, sounds a bit like Christmas with my parents, no real jollity, not much booze, plus we had my Gran determined to suck the joy out of the whole proceeding and determined to make everyone miserable.

I played the long game. Once I got together with my wife, I said 'oh we're going to alternate between going to your house, her mum's house and a year at home.' That gets them out of the idea that you are going to be there every year. Once every three years and having a partner for moral support with you makes it more bearable. Also the rota seems to have become more loose so we spend nearly every year here. Tomorrow morning will be spent in bed eating Just Brazils and drinking Babycham. Also a pet is a good excuse. 'We can't leave the cat for three days' is a perfect excuse for not going.

Or for a quick and dishonest break from the parental snooze fest, tell them you are staying with your partner's parents and he can tell them he's visiting yours and then stay at home.

YoniGetAnOohWithTyphoo Wed 25-Dec-13 00:41:28

I'm having a terrible time, truth be told.
Was supposed to be spending it with DH at sisters house.
Yesterday missed a delivery of online christmas presents.
Thought i'd be clever by going to 24h tesco late at night. Was staying at DMs house, didn't want to wake DM (dog whines when i go out) so thought i'd take him with me.
Bloody thing chewed nearly the whole way through both seatbelts.
Got up at 6am this morning after 3 hours sleep to collect presents from depot, and put car in garage. They ordered the wrong type of seatbelt, so couldn't be fixed today. Is gonna cost £300 on friday, which i really can't afford.
Rang up sister in tears, told her we couldn't drive 2.5h down motorway with no seatbelt.
DM reluctantly agrees to take me instead, but it's gonna make her late for her to spend xmas at other sisters house. Also cannot fit DH and dog, so they have to go to MILs.
BIL has got hump at DH not coming. Mum and other sister guilt tripping me for making them late. I feel like shit and have spent most of the day crying. All because of a stupid dog, no sleep and feeling lonely and like i 've pissed everyone off.

I need a big, un-mumsnetty hug sad

RodneyTheChristmasElf Wed 25-Dec-13 00:18:45

I'm happy about mine. Apart from the fact that the bastard turkey still isn't cooked despite being in the oven for 9 fucking hours.

pollypocket99 Wed 25-Dec-13 00:15:48

I am 33 and have not had a Christmas doing something I want to do. It's always about pleasing/not upsetting my parents. I am away from my wonderful partner on our first very special Christmas together and am missing him incredibly. My family don't quite seem to grasp this and, together with the usual lacklustre welcome I've received since I arrived tonight (my dad did his oh so happy to see me retreat to the living room, shutting the door behind him, nice), I wonder why I bother.

How on earth do I break the pattern of coming here every year?! I actually had to ask permission tonight to have another half glass of wine (cue much tutting) and when I said I wanted to watch a prog at 11 - IT Crowd if you want to know - was told "I think that's a bit late", plus knowing glances exchanged between my parents as I am a 15 year old wanting to go and hang out down the rec just so I can smoke weed (that is pretty tempting right now). Followed by a PA lecture about when I get to 65 ("but we won't be around to witness that"), you'll know what tired is. FFS. By the way I am perfectly pleasant, well behaved, quiet, respectful... I give up!!!

Families eh?! grin

FanFuckingTastic Wed 25-Dec-13 00:15:06

Antibiotic resistance sucks too, I'm allergic to penicillin and get regular bugs due to kidney issues and am down to only two oral antibiotics which work, although only fifty per cent of the time too as I get two different bugs which only respond to one of the two left.

Twang Wed 25-Dec-13 00:10:44

Currently supping on the old whiskey whilst watching midnight mass on tv at the OLs alone whilst everyone else in bed. Don't even have milk and carrots out for Santa and his reindeer like we would at home...plus DD's older cousins told her yesterday that Santa doesn't exist. Petulantly wishing I was with my family who always manage to get into the spirit of Christmas despite losing two family members over this period.

I'm spending tomorrow with ds, my dad, my cousin and her dh and 3 kids. Will be a nice day; it always is, but I can't help kind of wishing I was with dp who is visiting his folks at the other side of the country!

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