To be annoyed at my dsis?

[Spookey80]

My ds birthday party sun, he is going to be 3. Only having a family tea party, about 20 of us. Have ordered a large shoulder of pork to do pulled pork and loads of food plan.
Ds loves pirates, so gonna do a treasure hunt for ds, dd and their cousins.
Nothing major.
Text all invited 2 weeks ago and said party from 2 onwards.
Today my dsis texts me and says "ok if we come about 4.30ish" as her ds has been invited to a party and he really wants to go.
Aibu to feel annoyed as she has 3 dcs who my 2 love, I would put the party for a bit later but my 2 will be so excited that it will be a bit late and my ds does get tired and need bed by7/8, so will be niggly by 4, 2 would be the perfect time for him.
I feel really annoyed but Aibu?

[Tommy]

if you said from 2 onwards, she probably thinks it's one of those parties where you turn up any time after that.
You've said that it's nothing major and "only" a family tea party so you can't really expect them to think it's a bigger deal to you.
no?!

[NellysKnickers]

Just do the party without them or maybe put it back til 3 so its not over by the time they arrive. I did a party for ds2 last year on a Saturday near Xmas, quite a few family members decided his party was less important than others they had been invited to so came round the next day. I was fucked off but knew that by making a fuss its only the dcs who miss out.

[CaptainSweatPants]

Carry on with the party at 2pm & let her come after
Just give them a cuppa & slice of cake & wave them off on their way
Effing rude imo

[BrokenSunglasses]

It probably came across as a very informal arrangement because you just text and didn't give a specific time.

I can understand a child wanting to go to a friends party that they have received an invitation for more than a party that is just like a regular visit to Aunties house but with a game and cake.

YANBU to be annoyed, but next time don't try to make a formal arrangement too informal, because then people won't realise it's importance to you.

[ChoudeBruxelles]

How old is your nephew? He might find a friends party more entertaining than a 3 year olds party

[Spookey80]

My nephew is 4 and we are all really close. My sister knows me well enough to know what the party will involve. W even talked about it when I saw them last week.
Thanks for replies.

[ryangoslinglovesmedamnit]

I organised dd 2nd bday a few months back.. invite saidfrom 2pm too. except I didn't realise some take this as 'turn uo whenever I like aslong as its after 2.

a very close friend rocked up at 4:30 when we were tidying up ..everyone leaving. .candles blown etc. I was actually worried she hadn't arrived. I was a bit upset it was because she'd been shopping. .


seems shopping for unborn baby was more important. (early days) I kinda felt there were other days to do that. .considering she is named 'auntie x' ..she's like family. but maybe im being pfb. yanbu.

[Spookey80]

I suppose as my sister, her dh an her 3 dcs make up a large percentage of the people attending the party I feel a bit miffed that they will not be there for the main part of the party.
They are the ones that eat all the food, soothe reason why I will do so much! (Not there fault I suppose)!

[ryangoslinglovesmedamnit]

typos blah.

[littlewhitebag]

If someone sent me and invite stating from X time onwards i would assume i could turn up anytime after that time. If you want to be clear then say party starts at 2pm.

[Spookey80]

That is true, but it is a little kids party, so the kids will be expecting people there from at least half hour within the is time I should think, not 2 and half hours later?

[DesperatelySeekingSedatives]

YANBU to be annoyed. They already had a party to go to (your DS's) and therefore your DN can not go to the other one, simple as that. Or it would be if I was your DSis. I'd have bigged up his cousins party (not saying she needs to btw!) and placated with promising to have the other birthday child over to play at a later date and that would have been the end of it.

[PuppyMonkey]

Have you considered telling your sister how upset you are that they won't be there? - maybe she doesn't realise but if you tell her, she'll gladly change her plans.

[MrsOakenshield]

it's a bit tricky. Has your nephew just started school - is this an invite from a new schoolfriend? Because I can understand why he would want to go, and why your Dsis would want him to go - it's a good chance for him to socialise with his new classmates. And it's not like they're not coming at all. You said 20 people are coming, well your Dsis and her 3 being late leave another 16 people being there earlier.

I think YAabitU. My Dsis was going to come to ours for Halloween, but I've already said that if a school thing comes up for DNiece (who has just started school) then they should go to that.

[BrokenSunglasses]

How far away do they live. Just wondering if it would be possible for your dsis to come over a bit earlier, then her DH could leave from yours to take his ds to his party, and then bring him back to yours straight after.

Not ideal, but at least some of them would be there for most of it.

[Jenny70]

Your sister is being rude. She knew it was organised, she said she & kids will come, but now new offer comes in and she wants to miss it (4pm will be over with). If my child got another invite, I would refuse it - hopefully without child knowing about it.

Did her text ask if it was ok? If so, I'd say not ok to come late, your child will be tired, others leaving etc. I'd perhaps take a jesty note and call her cheeky - our party is at 2 don't be cheeky and come as it's ending.