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To think oh "STFU" and give no further consideration to this "parenting concern" from ds's Dad?

(121 Posts)
Sparklysilversequins Fri 13-Sep-13 11:46:13

Apparently he is "concerned" that ds eats coco pops for breakfast twice a week as its nothing more than "sugary air". Ds usually has eggs or bacon or toast on the other days but these coco pops are a REAL issue apparently. We have had two heated phone calls about it in the last 24 hours hmm.

He's my ex by the way.

PomBearArmy Sun 15-Sep-13 15:23:41

Yes, I think her ex would be better advised to choose his battles! Even if her son was having sugary cereal 7 days a week, at least he's eating breakfast. Mine won't eat until noon!

babybarrister..Two wrongs though don't make a right - choose your battles!

OP is choosing her battles. She choosing a breakfast she knows her ds will eat when needed rather then her ds having a meltdown.

whitesugar Sun 15-Sep-13 15:02:20

You are doing a fantastic job on your own against the odds. I advise you not to take phone calls from that knob. Don't engage. If he rings just say "up to my eyes, text me". You don't have to answer just because he rings. Be permanently unavailable for anything other than arrangements for contact. If he criticizes you just text and say " thanks for your observation but I am not in the habit of taking advice from a pisshead".

You need to make it very clear that you will be parenting as you see fit. If you keep entertaining his phone calls you will still be trying to defend your parenting choices in 10 years time. Trust me the issues will be more serious when your son is a teenager so make a stance now. Tell him that you will only accept text or email communication unless it is a serious issue.

Don't ever rise to the bait when he gets on his high horse, just be eternally polite. Coco pops for breakfast twice a week - I think I will phone social services! Ignore him.

YouTheCat Sun 15-Sep-13 14:51:26

I can't see what is so wrong with the occasional bowl of cocopops.

Baby, have you actually read the thread? Are you aware of the huge issues some autistic children have around food?

TobyLerone Sun 15-Sep-13 14:46:33

Also, giving a child coco pops for breakfast 2 days a week as part of a normal, healthy diet is not a 'wrong'!

TobyLerone Sun 15-Sep-13 14:44:50

With a controlling ex, if you give in to a tiny thing like this, it leads to much worse. You have to stand up for yourself in the small matters.

babybarrister Sun 15-Sep-13 14:39:34

Two wrongs though don't make a right - choose your battles!

TobyLerone Sun 15-Sep-13 09:24:25

But it isn't about the cereal. It's about DO AS YOU ARE TOLD, WOMAN, AND KNOW YOUR PLACE isn't it?

Exactly this.

Common in autism & really you have to look at the whole diet.

Only on mumsnet could there be such angst over coco pops

OP my eldest son is severely autistic (& for years would eat no meat, fish, cheese, fruit or veg- nor coco pops come to that). My approach with parenting advice for him is that someone is only entitled to an opinion if they do hands on stuff with ds1. Then I'm interested. Someone who has never served ds1 breakfast doesn't get an opinion on breakfast. Actually DH does most breakfasting with ds1 (that's his morning job while I sort everything else) so I don't have a big opinion on it & when I'm doing it ask DH what ds1 will eat at the moment ( ironically porridge is a current favourite grin )

I would just ignore him if he's carrying on trying to get a rise out of you. Tell him to take it up with SS if he's that concerned.

Incidentally being autistic ds1 eats different food at respite than at home etc (although he's much better at generalising than he used to be - and following a very long term sensory programme now eats most foods). Food issues very comm

LisaMedicus Sun 15-Sep-13 08:44:42

Bad mother here - I would rather ds went to school with something in him, so he will sometimes get coco pops or generic equivalent. I also have been known to give him milkshake out of desperation. He's doing okay. He likes broccoli as well. Just not for breakfast.

But it isn't about the cereal. It's about DO AS YOU ARE TOLD, WOMAN, AND KNOW YOUR PLACE isn't it?

Sparklysilversequins Sun 15-Sep-13 08:30:16

No he's not overweight. I run 6 km three times a week and he accompanies on his scooter or bike. He's in great shape.

All this said earlier in the thread.

NeoMaxiZoomDweebie Sun 15-Sep-13 08:14:18

I think yabu....especially if DS is overweight....is he? My DH is lovely but around nutrition he's full on and his opinion is just as important as mine....whilst you and your ex aren't partners you still need to work together on some things and if your ex feels this food is shit (and he's right) why is that a bad thing? Why can't he express his opinion?

Lweji Sun 15-Sep-13 08:11:28

Given a non milk drinking DD2, I don't object to sugary air if it's sugary air and milk.

Actually, milk is not that essential in a diet.
And certainly not that it justifies being given with sugar loaded cereals.

It would be better if you could replace with yogurt or cheese and give some more long lasting carbs with them.

My DS also hardly drinks milk and has some sugar loaded cereals and milk sometimes. It's part of a generally healthy diet. I just don't justify it by the non existent need to give him milk.

Misspixietrix Sun 15-Sep-13 08:10:39

Oh he will always be knobbish towards you OP sad he knows it's the only thing that will rile you. Mine does it with exemplary fashion angry

NoComet Sat 14-Sep-13 22:11:26

Given a non milk drinking DD2, I don't object to sugary air if it's sugary air and milk.

Sparklysilversequins Sat 14-Sep-13 22:05:47

grin "His Lordshit"!

Sparklysilversequins Sat 14-Sep-13 22:04:58

Just a phone call to dc. With never a mention of co co pops. But this is normal, he rings up nags me about something, I get all stressed out and worry about it then it never gets mentioned again. I am beginning to manage it better now and not get so stressed out. MN helps.

Seagull parent is a PERFECT description grin. I may say it to his face one day if I feel strong enough to deal with the foot stamping tantrum that will ensue.

There's loads of you on here who understand the knobbishness behind his "concerns". It's very helpful to read.

babybarrister Sat 14-Sep-13 14:58:11

Yabu - totally unsuitable 'foodstuff' - please stick to the other breakfast!

Misspixietrix Sat 14-Sep-13 14:15:40

OP has he left you alone today?

TobyLerone Sat 14-Sep-13 08:38:43

grin

Misspixietrix Sat 14-Sep-13 08:35:05

IpswichWitch grin at "They're Coco Pops. Not Crack Cocaine". TobyLerone No need to apologise smile. I've called him many names before under my breath but I'm definately sticking with Pisswizard in future! My DM sent me a text where she was sarcastically calling him "His Lordship" and it autocorrected to "His Lordshit". Saving that one too!

TobyLerone Sat 14-Sep-13 08:25:47

Oh, misspixie, I was being a pedantic arse and I'm sorry flowers

Your ex can join the Pisswizards' Club, of which my ex is Grand High Pisswizard and the OP's ex is Treasurer.

MoominsYonisAreScary Sat 14-Sep-13 08:21:37

That discribes ds1s dad down to the ground. I really cant get all excited or judgy about sugary air or whatever a couple of times a week.

ipswichwitch Sat 14-Sep-13 08:12:22

Well when he's actually done some parenting then maybe he can comment on/criticise yours. They're coco pops not crack cocaine, and as long as a diet is pretty healthy the rest of the time, I don't see once of twice a week being a major issue.
Fwiw, my nephew is autistic and I know how difficult it is getting him to eat anything. SIL would be overjoyed at him eating breakfast never mind a decent cooked one.

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