AIBU to hate the office whipround? I just can?t afford the apparently continous stream of demands for contributions for leaving gifts, retirements, birthdays etc. This month there has been someone getting married, and someone who?s just had a baby. Last month there was a big retirement do.
I probably am Being Unreasonable, because of my previous experience. I used to work in a large office. Whiprounds were frequent (even if the person was actually going to one of our competitors) and on the day itself there would be an extravagant ?presentation? with cards, gifts/flowers 
and speeches. I had more money then (pre-children!) and used to happily contribute. Then my position was made redundant after 10 years. I was in a strange role which didn?t properly have a manager, the closest thing to it was a woman who was not really my boss. She didn?t really ?manage? me though, and she was also away on my actual leaving day.
So throughout the day I waited for the presentation. The ?We will miss you? cards and the 
. The speech. I may even have prepared my own speech. Nothing happened. Nobody even spoke to me. I know it was just unfortunate that my ?manager? didn?t think to arrange it, but I walked out and burst into tears.
Fast forward to current position. It?s a smaller office, but similar thing (although we don?t do the speeches!) I do wonder if by the time I ever leave, as people more frequently move jobs, there may be no-one here who has been here very long to arrange mine!
I feel resentful of being asked to contribute. I feel guilty if I don?t. So yes, IABU but I obviously still have ?issues? from my old job.
AIBU?
To hate the office whipround?
aliasjoey · 22/08/2013 11:51
OP, many people don't bother contributing at all. I know this because I'm "the boss" in our office and frequently end up digging deep into my own pocket to make up for the paltry contributions from the rest of the team. It seems that my team members are quite happy to initiate collections, but less eager to put into them. 
I've grown to hate Secret Santa's due to various different issues with them over the years. Mainly I resent having to spend time and energy (and money) on buying something for a random colleague when I'm already snowed under organising things for friends and family.
The MN Secret Santa would be OK except my parcel got lost in the post 
I don't mind putting the odd quid in for a collection as long as they don't expect too much effort 
YANBU. I think specifying an amount that 'should' be contributed is really out of order. No-one has any idea how much spare cash anyone else has and it's really unfair to start making demands on people. I was in 3 birthday clubs at one point (£3 per birthday ) as I work in several different locations, but I eventually came to my senses and pulled out of all of them.
One of my co-managers absolutely chomps at the bit to start collections for people who have babies or are leaving. She always complains about how stingy the team are but actually maybe they're trying to tell us something?! None of them earn a fortune and I think it's a bit unfair on them. We have had 4 team members leave over the summer and 3 others have just gone off to have babies so that's a hell of a lot of collecting!
i didn't mind them in my last workplace, where you just chucked in whatever you fancied or could afford, but in my current office the organisers always attempt to instruct you on how much "we have all decided" to give .
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