Wedding gift when not invited to the wedding...

(50 Posts)
QueenCadbury Wed 17-Jul-13 13:59:57

My friend recently got married in a large ceremony in a country hotel. We haven't been that close in the last 4 years due to side taking when I split from ex. I wasn't invited to the wedding but I have heard from another friend that the bride is upset with me for not sending a gift.

Am I right in thinking that I don't need to buy a gift if not invited to the wedding or aibu?

YouTheCat Wed 17-Jul-13 15:44:13

I have one of those mugs. I was going to give it to the ex at Christmas (from the kids) but I rather like it. grin

Pobblewhohasnotoes Wed 17-Jul-13 15:57:54

She's a cheeky cow. No you shouldn't send a gift!

RaisingChaotic Wed 17-Jul-13 16:00:35

YANBU She's a grabby, cheeky cow.

Burmobasher Wed 17-Jul-13 16:03:36

Wow, bet you are gutted that you weren't invited to the wedding

SixPackWellies Wed 17-Jul-13 16:06:34

Um... tell her, fuck her?

samandi Wed 17-Jul-13 16:16:35

Of course YANBU confused

MamaChubbyLegs Wed 17-Jul-13 17:28:25

Gosh, you are a shocking friend!

You could at least have got her a grip wink

Cheeky bitch.
Hope you didn't get her a card either!

Sister77 Wed 17-Jul-13 17:32:16

Get her a cunt-o-meter

FeckOffCup Wed 17-Jul-13 17:34:48

I didn't realise you were meant to send a present even if you were invited but couldn't attend, I didn't send one for the last wedding I couldn't go to, I thought the present was a kind of "exchange" for the hospitality shown to you on the wedding day. I didn't really know the bride and groom in my case though, only met them a couple of times, they are more friends of the inlaws than us.

BalloonSlayer Wed 17-Jul-13 17:42:36

Print her out a sheaf of pro-forma letters addressed to David and Victoria Beckham, William and Kate, Chris Martin and Gwyneth Paltrow, The Queen etc all expressing her disappointment at not getting a present from them, with a space for her to sign.

like

Mr and Mrs Cameron
10 Downing Street
London SW1

Dear David and Sam

I am writing to express my disappointment and dismay that I did not receive a gift from you on the recent occasion of my wedding.

I think this is shabby behaviour towards a member of your electorate.

I think I should point out that it is my taxes that pay your salary.

I am aware that you did not attend my wedding, but the photo was in the local newspaper and I would expect one of your "Media Consultants" would have alerted you to it.

I will never vote Lib Dem again.

Yours in profound disillusionment.

Grabby O'Trageous (Mrs)

zoraqueenofzeep Wed 17-Jul-13 17:44:10

She's an idiot, if she wanted a present from you she should have invited you to her wedding, that's the deal.

WeAreEternal Wed 17-Jul-13 17:57:25

If it was a case of
"I am really sorry but we are not able to invite everyone to the wedding as we can only afford a small do, but we would love it if you could meet us for a celebratory drink after the wedding"
in a nice card then I may send a gift, but other wise no chance.

She took your EXs side in the divorce, (real friends don't take sides, even mutual ones) and she hasn't really been your friend since. I think it's time to cut her from the Christmas list and delete her as a friend on Facebook.

Buzzardbird Wed 17-Jul-13 18:03:22

Send her a reply in verse!

Apart we drift,
alas, no gift,
no invite was to come,
stick it up your bum!

pigletmania Wed 17-Jul-13 18:04:08

Yanbu what a vulture. Of course you don't get her a gift, especially if your not close. Yes thats on friendship that should stay in the past

pigletmania Wed 17-Jul-13 18:04:58

Bzzardbrd thatis fantastic grin, can I borrow that!

Buzzardbird Wed 17-Jul-13 18:06:13

I thought you were a friend,
no invite did you send.
"where's my gift?" you say now
in your dreams you fucking cow!

pigletmania Wed 17-Jul-13 18:08:03

Oh even better grin, send her that twat card with buzzards verse

Buzzardbird Wed 17-Jul-13 18:09:11

Be my guest piglet grin
Do love a bit of wedding verse, second one more poignant I thought?

Buzzardbird Wed 17-Jul-13 18:13:01

Needs its own section in the card shop under 'you've got to be fucking joking?', next to 'wedding regret' cards

pigletmania Wed 17-Jul-13 18:18:49

Oh yes buzzard they are great, op are you listening?

TalkativeJim Wed 17-Jul-13 18:23:31

Hah!

Upset, you say? But actually all fine at the concept of NOT WANTING YOU THERE for the actaul wedding??

Riiight...

RenterNomad Wed 17-Jul-13 19:09:44

How on earth did the friend pass on the "message" about the bride's disappointment? Any extra comments on the cheek of it?

clarasebal Wed 18-Sep-13 19:24:26

Message deleted by Mumsnet for breaking our Talk Guidelines. Replies may also be deleted.

TiggyD Wed 18-Sep-13 20:09:07

I didn't get invited either, the ungreatful cow! And I wanted to be a bridesmaid!! angry

ChuffMuffin Wed 18-Sep-13 20:16:47

Get a huge empty box.
Get apiece of card.
Write "you are a twat" on the card in miniscule letters.
Put card in huge empty box.
Wrap huge box in fancy wrapping paper with elaborate name tag.
Deliver, preferably to work so all her colleagues will see her open it.

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