To Say No Thanks To This...

(62 Posts)
FunLovinBunster Tue 02-Jul-13 15:09:33

Have just received email from a class parent asking us for cash to buy 2 girls in DDs class a leaving present...
One of the kids is Alpha Mothers and head of mummy clique DD.
It's their choice to leave, so why the actual fuck are we having to buy a present???
Email says its "optional" to join in collection. We all know what optional means in practice when it comes to school politics....
Have just had to shell out £10 for collection for teachers. Another demnding email. Another passive aggressive "optional" ...

Tee2072 Tue 02-Jul-13 15:11:42

I don't understand who the present is for but if you don't want to contribute, don't.

Onesleeptillwembley Tue 02-Jul-13 15:11:49

Im guessing the mum will be gone when the daughter goes? Just ignore and be grateful.

MalcolmTuckersMum Tue 02-Jul-13 15:13:27

I hope you're not teaching your children to roll over and accept every ridiculous and P/A demand made of them throughout their lives? No? Good. Then carry on the good work by completely ignoring this one.

I'd either ignore, our if you think they'll chase you if politely reply saying something along the lines of 'in this situation I'd never normally give a leaving present and as things are a bit tight this month you're sadly not able to contribute. But you wish them all the very best'

FunLovinBunster Tue 02-Jul-13 15:15:54

I should add that Alpha Mum sent us a class email "announcing" her DD was leaving. And telling is not to forget them when it comes to birthday parties, school Ball etc...[eye roll]

Yama Tue 02-Jul-13 15:17:49

Why do these people have all the other parents' email addresses?

No-one has mine. I think the school admin does but they never email me.

Just an aside but it intreagues me.

MerryMarigold Tue 02-Jul-13 15:19:37

Yes, I think saying you wouldn't normally buy a leaving present for anyone let alone this child who is not your child's best friend would be perfectly appropriate. Ds1's class has several kids leaving and I wouldn't dream of buying any of them presents. Bit confused as to why you would. You give a teacher a present to say thankyou for all your hardwork not 'goodbye'.

Bumbolina Tue 02-Jul-13 15:19:40

Just say no to all of these things with "I prefer to make my own arrangements rather than join in group collections"

lollylaughs Tue 02-Jul-13 15:20:42

IF your dd is friends with her, as in good friends that she plays with, then I would. If she is just a class acquaintance, then just ignore.

MikeLitoris Tue 02-Jul-13 15:20:42

That is what I was wondering yama

The only mun that has a contact number for me is a friend that I knew pre dc.

We don't have an 'Alpha-mum' either.

Feel like im missing out on all the playground politics sad

WorraLiberty Tue 02-Jul-13 15:22:06

Just say no to all of these things with "I prefer to make my own arrangements rather than join in group collections"

This ^^

Honestly, it's not worth getting your knickers in a knot about.

And also, why do you give your email address out to these people?

MerryMarigold Tue 02-Jul-13 15:22:15

Mike, don't be sad. We have an Alpha Mum, but luckily she's not head of Mummy clique as no-one really likes her always pushing for her kids to have the best of everything in school.

Tee2072 Tue 02-Jul-13 15:24:05

We had a mum who thought she was alpha, but we all just ignored her. And, unfortunately, all of the children ignored her equally thinking she was alpha daughter.

I don't have emails, but I have most of the mum's mobile numbers.

FunLovinBunster Tue 02-Jul-13 15:26:03

Neither leaver is DDs friend.
Am snippy over this because I am sick and tired of this clique controlling all child and parent activity in DDs class. They all air kiss. I find this gross and fake.

FunLovinBunster Tue 02-Jul-13 15:28:33

They are leaving independent all girls school to join alpha mixed independent school. Because our school is not academic enough....both leaving mothers were kind enough to publicise this to all class mothers...

MerryMarigold Tue 02-Jul-13 15:28:40

shock Air kisses. You must move schools or areas. Or put up with it.

Tee2072 Tue 02-Jul-13 15:32:45

If they are leaving, why do you care? Kiss the air and wave them bye bye.

Stand up for yourself, woman!

SoupDragon Tue 02-Jul-13 15:37:33

It's their choice to leave

I doubt it is the girl's choice and it is, I assume, them you are buying a gift for, not the mother.

DDs class gave a departing girl a photo book with silly photos of them all in. DSs class have bought leaving gifts before too. It's not that unusual.

Anyhow, you are not under any obligation to do so, make the "prefer to do my own thing" excuse and leave it at that.

QueenMaeve Tue 02-Jul-13 15:42:03

My 2 ds left their school last week. Both classes did a homemade card with their little messages inside. So thoughtful of them & their teachers had written a note too. I'd have been mortified if people thought they had to buy them a gift

CecilyP Tue 02-Jul-13 15:44:41

I would say that they are very welcome to buy a leaving present for the 2 girls if they wish, but that you don't wish to be involved. I don't think you have to say things are a bit tight or, indeed make any excuse. Even if you were as rich as Croesus, you would be perfectly reasonable to refuse.

selsigfach Tue 02-Jul-13 15:48:16

So she's emailed to say her daughter is leaving and can you give her money so she can buy her own daughter a present? Unbelievable! I'd be telling her in no uncertain terms where to go. Surprised she didn't attach a gift list, the cheeky cow.

elQuintoConyo Tue 02-Jul-13 16:13:49

Was it in poem form? Please say it is so! Please print!

The ballsy cheek of some people.
I'd send a bluemountain e-card grin

Monty27 Tue 02-Jul-13 16:15:48

Ignore at your pleasure leisure smile

YouTheCat Tue 02-Jul-13 16:17:39

They are leaving anyway, so a concise 'Please fuck off' in an email would be appropriate at this time.

Can you block whoever is emailing these farcical requests?

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