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AIBU?

To take a day sick tomorrow?

36 replies

BerkshireMum · 30/06/2013 22:23

Started a new (quite senior) job nearly three months ago. It's going well, great feedback from my boss, and I like it. For the first time since having DCs, it's full-time in the office - no flexi-time or working from home. Suits me better than I thought as I'm keeping much more sensible working hours with evenings and weekends off.

However, I have always been primary carer for our two DCs. H has hardly ever taken any time off for medical appointments, hospital admissions, school assemblies etc etc. Prior to this job, I managed most of this sort if thing with flexible working (not taking the p, I did the work and the hours).

In the last couple of months I've missed a few bits of stuff with DCs as I was at work - nothing earth-shattering, just things I would usually have done.

This weekend, DS9 has injured himself at cub camp - knocked out a good chunk of his front tooth. It hurts and he clearly needs to see a dentist. My parents could take him, but I feel like I should be there. As it happens, my diary is clear tomorrow (which is almost unheard of) so I'm planning to take a day sick to sort him out. If I'm honest, it's partly because I think he deserves a parent there, partly because I feel guilty and partly because I can make it work this time but may not be able to do the same next time it's anything less than a full-blown emergency.

I'll be missing sports day for DS and a play for DD later in July and totally understand that work comes first then. I wouldn't dream of calling in sick for them. Once I've done 6 months, I'll have annual leave to use to help with this sort of situation.

It's not something I'm doing lightly, and I will make sure I effectively make up the time - will probably do a pile of work from home tomorrow - but I will giving a reason for my absence that isn't accurate. WWYD?

OP posts:

Report

FrancesHouseman · 30/06/2013 22:24

Take the sickie and never think of it again!

Hope DS's tooth is OK.

ilovesooty · 30/06/2013 22:26

Can't you take it from your annual leave?

daddoinghisbest · 30/06/2013 22:27

Can't you be honest and say you have an urgent family matter that you need to take care of, and that as you're diary is clear, it shouldn't impact the company, and that you will be available on the phone, and will make up the time?

ilovesooty · 30/06/2013 22:28

Or ask for emergency leave? Ringing inzsick when you're not is fraud and could well render you liable to disciplinary action.

OwlinaTree · 30/06/2013 22:28

Just take a days leave, why call in sick?

HooverFairy · 30/06/2013 22:29

I'm sure you are eligible for dependency days? I know nothing about them but friends have mentioned them before.

Alliwantisaroomsomewhere · 30/06/2013 22:32

I agree with Daddoinghisbest.

IWillGetThere · 30/06/2013 22:33

Why don't you say you have to go to the dentist? You could say you are in pain, nip out to the dentist appointment and go back to work afterwards.

Marrow · 30/06/2013 22:33

Ring work and explain why you can't go in. Don't call in sick when you're not, that would be fraudulent.

FamiliesShareGerms · 30/06/2013 22:34

Noooo, don't take it sick, at the very least take a day off which is marked down as a day to deal with a sick child. Even if you are unpaid for the day, or have to agree some TOIL arrangement. Sod's Law says you will get sprung, but even if not it is really unprofessional, especially so soon in a new role

(Sorry, hope DS gets sorted out ok)

fanoftheinvisibleman · 30/06/2013 22:35

I wouldn't use sick for that and I think it is unreasonable to do that. I'm not saying I wouldn't want to be there but I would be honest and use leave or unpaid leave.

Sallyingforth · 30/06/2013 22:35

Just be honest and explain you have an urgent family matter to resolve. Far, far better than telling lies.

50BalesOfHay · 30/06/2013 22:38

Sorry, I didn't see from your post how you are sick. If,you're not then It's not on to call in sick, what would you say without being untruthful?

Jinsei · 30/06/2013 22:38

Don't lie. Just tell them that you need a day of annual leave to deal with a family emergency.

Why would you say you are sick if you're not? I'm a bit that you're in a "senior" role and think this is ok.

SandStorm · 30/06/2013 22:38

"Once I've done 6 months, I'll have annual leave to use to help with this sort of situation."

I don't understand this bit - surely you're entitled to leave from day one which you could use. Or just tell them what's happened and hope they give you the time?

Jinsei · 30/06/2013 22:41

Sorry, missed the bit about annual leave before 6 months, but you should still be entitled to some sort of unpaid leave for emergencies.

Areyoumadorisitme · 30/06/2013 22:44

YABU to take a sick day as you are NOT sick!

Do not lie. That's what gives parents a bad name.

YANBU to want to sort your hold out, you have a legal right to sort out emergency family matters,normally unpaid.

Be honest, don't lie about it.

Areyoumadorisitme · 30/06/2013 22:45

Sort your child out not hold out.

OwlinaTree · 30/06/2013 22:46

You know you will see someone from work at the dentist!! That's what would happen to me i'm sure!

rockybalboa · 30/06/2013 22:46

I wouldn't call in sick. Are you really not allowed to take any leave until you've been there 6 months?!? My employer has things called family days for this sort of thing. Only used one once when DS2 couldn't go to nursery due to the pox. Check your contract to see what you're entitled to.

Feelingood · 30/06/2013 22:48

Just do it - sounds like you need and want to be there for your son.

I bet a man wouldn't question this

chesterberry · 30/06/2013 22:50

It sounds risky to take a sick day if you are not sick - if somebody from work sees you in the dentist with DS and reports it, or even just mentions it casually, then you could find yourself in trouble.

A teaching assistant from my work called into school sick a few weeks ago and was caught by the school receptionist enjoying a coffee and cake with her daughter in Asda's cafe during school hours. Teaching Assistant has been given her notice.

I think the sensible thing is to phone work and explain that you need to take DS to the dentist - don't have to mention your parents could do it, just make it sound like an emergency and like you have no choice but to do it. Most employers have to be flexible for things like that - parents are forever having time off work to look after their unwell children in my workplace.

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StayAwayFromTheEdge · 30/06/2013 22:51

No you shouldn't take a day off sick - If you haven't any annual leave ask for a day unpaid like the rest of us do.

idiot55 · 30/06/2013 22:51

Don't lie, you are entitled to careers leave, for situations exactly like tomorrow.

ShellyBoobs · 30/06/2013 22:53

Definitely don't call in sick.

Be honest and ask for some time to do what you need to do.

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