to consider this woman morally bankrupt and not want to be friends?

(58 Posts)
BudgieSmugglers Tue 18-Jun-13 14:43:21

She's a friend of a friend but the following tale came straight from the horse's mouth.

Now early 40s, income from family trust fund, one previous longterm relationship as the OW. Went travelling, got pregnant after two week relationship came back to UK. Made little attempt to keep in touch with the father.

Desperate for a relationship so after 5 years hooks up with local man, he's not ideal, prison record, three children with different mothers, little contact with them. Within a week she finds out his on/off girlfriend is pregnant but chooses to continue the relationship.

Given all that would you be friends with her?

itsallshitandmoreshit Tue 18-Jun-13 14:44:45

I don't know about her but you sound bloody awful!

squeakytoy Tue 18-Jun-13 14:46:58

you arent even friends with her anyway, so what on earth does it have to do with you? confused

HabbaDabbaDoo Tue 18-Jun-13 14:48:02

She has bad judgement when it comes to men. Why is that a criteria for deciding whether to be friends?

AThingInYourLife Tue 18-Jun-13 14:49:00

How fun is she exactly?

How kind?

DarkWinter Tue 18-Jun-13 14:49:23

YABU. And not very nice. So she has bad taste in men.

Wallison Tue 18-Jun-13 14:50:14

Has she gone up to you in the playground and asked if you'll be her friend or something? Maybe while all the rough boys were playing British Bulldog?

Im struggling to see what this has to do with you?

Crinkle77 Tue 18-Jun-13 14:50:45

It's her life and she can do what she wants. Not sure why you would feel the need to break off the friendship though.

Age - irrelevant
Financial situation - irrelevant
Longterm OW status - dubious, morally.
Went travelling - irrelevant
Preganant after 2 weeks - irrelevant, it happens
Not in touch with father - irrelevant, he could make the effort himself
Starts new relationship with someone you so not approve of - irrelevant, at least to the personal morals of this woman
Man's gf is pregnant - irrelevant to this woman, or should the man be forced to have a relationship with the gf because of the pregnancy?

MrsMorton Tue 18-Jun-13 14:54:28

You need to get out more. If she's your friend then you shouldn't judge her on that. If she's not and you are judging her then, well, best you all steer clear of each other.

Aetae Tue 18-Jun-13 14:55:55

I don't understand how her (admittedly not ideal) relationship choices affect you and the friendship? Bad relationship decision making isn't a communicable disease...

PrettyKitty1986 Tue 18-Jun-13 14:56:28

Waiting 5 years before entering a relationship hardly sounds desperate to me.

Maybe if she had a 5 day old baby and was hooking up with the local hoodlum I'd be trying my judgy-pants on a bit...but I can't see anything defining in your description that warrants the term 'morally bankrupt'.

IneedAyoniNickname Tue 18-Jun-13 14:57:15

One of my very good friends has a moral past that I find hard to come to terms with. (she ended her marriage to be with another man, who was also married. Constantly wonders why the man's no ex wife dislikes her, and makes out that her ex is unreasonable and she is hard done by) However, she is (other than that) mostly lovely, was really good when my ex left me, and can be a real laugh.

So yes I would if we got on well, and could have coffee together.

TheRealFellatio Tue 18-Jun-13 15:01:46

Er....yes, if I liked her. I'd tell her her new BF sounds like a right bell-end though, and not to hold out much hope of him suddenly becoming Husband and Father of the Year. Other than that I don't see what the problem is. confused

xylem8 Tue 18-Jun-13 15:32:10

I don't think she sounds like someone I'd have a lot in common with, but you never know.

LEMisdisappointed Tue 18-Jun-13 15:35:05

she sounds like fun

SmiteYouWithThunderbolts Tue 18-Jun-13 15:36:54

I don't see how any of what you've described makes her "morally bankrupt" or undesirable as a friend. You, however, sound judgmental and thoroughly unpleasant. I would not like to be your friend.

YABU.

Yeah I would. I don't tend to make my prospective friends pass tests before I can be friends with them.

KellyElly Tue 18-Jun-13 15:39:04

I don't think you should be friends because with a friend like you she won't need any enemies!

BudgieSmugglers Tue 18-Jun-13 15:43:17

Thank you, she can be a good laugh, always up for going out, I get on well with her but not the new bf who is socially inept known her about a year as part of a bigger circle.

An older friend has recently fallen out with her and is avoiding her and the rest of us but no one really knows why - just made me a question where I would draw the line.

Sorry Psammead did n't want to drip feed.

MrsLouisTheroux Tue 18-Jun-13 15:43:39

You know that she's not your cup of tea already don't you OP? I wonder if you're hers?

MaxPepsi Tue 18-Jun-13 15:45:21

It's the family trust fund bit that's bothered you most I think.

Are you jealous because your mutual friend prefers to spend more time with morally bankrupt friend than you , the very judgemental one?

Your update doesn't fit with the title of your OP. I thought you considered her morally bankrupt.

SugarPasteGreyhound Tue 18-Jun-13 15:48:48

"A friend of a friend".

Some 'friend', if that person is busy frothing at the mouth to anyone who'll listen about this woman's private life.

Given your barely contained glee at the 'moral bankruptcy', my impression of you is someone who is extremely immature and needs to grow up.

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