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to be absolutely bloody furious with my DC?

(129 Posts)
VelvetSpoon Tue 05-Mar-13 18:54:56

Came home from work at 6 to find the fridge wide open thanks to either DS1 or 2. The contents were warm, meaning it has clearly been open all day. So have just spent the last 45 mins chucking the entire contents of the fridge (maybe £60 worth at a guess).

This is a fortnight after DS2 left the freezer open all night and I had to throw everything out.

Both deny it was them, neither has apolgised or gives much of a shit. I have cried because its money I can ill afford to waste, let alone that as I don't drive it is hard work restocking the fridge in one go.

They are 14 and 11 btw, so not babies.

samandi Wed 06-Mar-13 12:31:41

BTW I would be annoyed too though.

samandi Wed 06-Mar-13 12:30:43

Just feed them the food that's been sitting there.

Seriously, you threw it all out after less than a whole day? What was it?

diddl Germany Wed 06-Mar-13 09:50:55

I'm with you,OP.

The constant in & out of the fridge looking for fucking food!

Am I the only one who didn't do this-or always asked if I could have something-until about 14yrs old?

CMOTDibbler Wed 06-Mar-13 09:41:47

If my fridge isn't closed properly, the light goes on and stays on, and gets really hot. We've had to chuck fridge fulls of food if this happens, and our house isn't hot.

We all make mistakes, but if they had opportunity to see it was open and didn't shut it - and most importantly aren't saying they'd been in there where the choc has obv gone - then I would be angry.

Making them go and do the shopping with you and carry it home would seem like a good intervention

deste Wed 06-Mar-13 09:32:45

I think you have over reacted, I'm sure you could have saved some of the food. I am old enough to remember when no-one had a fridge. Also they probably know what your reaction will be so they are not going to admit to it. As they say, you pick your battles.

olgaga Wed 06-Mar-13 07:41:52

OP take a look at this thread here.

Hmmm....last month ds1 left the front door wide open, went to the dry cleaners, took the dog to the park, came home...and Realised what he had done.

I think sometimes teenagers are..well distracted.

But it is not on that they cannot understand why you are upset.

Do they go with you to do the shopping? Do they get involved in meal planning? Maybe that might help in teaching them the value of money and budgeting.

aurynne Spain Wed 06-Mar-13 03:15:25

YABVVVVU to keep chocolate bars in the fridge... It spoils the chocolate, makes it brittle, makes white marks appear on the chocolate and changes the taste of the cocoa butter. Chocolate does not need cold unless you live at an average temperature of 38C!

Signed, the self-confesses chocoholic
PhD in Chocolate Research

Bogeyface Netherlands Wed 06-Mar-13 01:55:42

Do you have teens bogey face?

I have one former teen (now 22) a current teen (15) an almost 12 year old, and three younger ones (8,7 & 1).

My eldest has cerebal palsy due to oxygen starvation at birth, so I totally understand the "things could be worse". I let a lot go, not just with them but with life in general because when you have dealt with such things, you realise what is important. I prefer to laugh than cry.

But I personally believe that teaching them the consequences of their behaviour is important, not because I necessarily want them to tow the line, but because I know that others will. I know that if I dont do what is expected of me at work then I will be sacked. I know that if I treat others like shit then they will dump me (friends, family, DPs, whatever). I would rather teach them those lessons myself, in a loving way, than have them learn from others with hurt and suffering.

thebody Wed 06-Mar-13 01:46:51

Lol you too clipped.. Love the cheeky teen years. Your lad sounds fab too.

Sorry if that makes us sound smug.!

Fir me i am just grateful to have 4 and not 3... Light hearted thread ladies

thebody Wed 06-Mar-13 01:42:48

I think I must have mis read this thread if the ' I hope you don't have to go through this in the future' is simply about an open fridge door and consequently stroppy teens?

Really sorry if I have missed lots of drip feeds but can't be arsed to read whole thread.

If your teens are seriously not caring at all that they have hurt you and don't react to you looking upset or saying you are disappointed in them then yes to be honest you do have a problem and I hope you get some good advice.

ClippedPhoenix Wed 06-Mar-13 01:39:58

I'd love to be a teen in your house thebody. You sound fab!

ClippedPhoenix Wed 06-Mar-13 01:34:46

Its their turn to look after you a bit huh. grin

Oh, mum, this is how you do it!

Let's face it, they are far more technical these days.

ThisIsANickname Wed 06-Mar-13 01:31:11

I don't know exactly how a thread about teenagers leaving a fridge/freezer open degenerated into a platform for a "my parenting choices are better than your parenting choices" debate. My word.

OP - YANBU for being angry that they were inconsiderate and did not appreciate the consequences of their actions. I think that you would be right to do something to address this situation. How you choose to do that is up to you. Whatever you do, I hope it works and you don't have to go through this kind of thing in the future.

thebody Wed 06-Mar-13 01:30:44

Clipped!! My youngest dd was teaching me IT skills today for a course I am doing... She called her oldest brother to ask how best to phrase instructions that I would understand!!! I overheard!!!!

That's funny!! Cheeky mare!!

ClippedPhoenix Wed 06-Mar-13 01:29:37

No im not at all what you're calling me stunt. I have just brought my child up in the manner I would have wished for myself and its paying off.

thebody Wed 06-Mar-13 01:26:48

That's a bit unfair stunt and I usually agree with your posts

Clipped was saying what worked for her family dynamics.. That's not smug..

That's her reality and it was our approach too with our 4 and think we at least did the best that we could.

ClippedPhoenix Wed 06-Mar-13 01:26:03

Im so glad you do the same as me thebody.

We have the best and I can't begin to describe how proud I am of my son and likewise for you huh.

StuntGirl Wed 06-Mar-13 01:19:57

Sanctimonious much clipped?

thebody Wed 06-Mar-13 01:18:17

Clipped totally agree with your posts by the way.

My older lads just blow me away with their care and consideration for their very injured sister and younger one.

If they let us down then we didn't punish them as young adults we just showed how disappointed and let down we felt. That was that for them. It worked.

If you treat teens as kids then they act like kids.

ClippedPhoenix Wed 06-Mar-13 01:11:15

Oh and i forgot to say my DS and I laugh together a lot! He does so much of what I did and remember doing. I can't actually remember where my glasses are these days by the way grin

thebody Wed 06-Mar-13 01:07:16

Lol I didn't bogey to be honest. Have 4 kids, 2 now 23 and 21 dss all graduated and good jobs but the usual teen bothers of drinking and stuff nothing dreadful not even an open fridge door!!!

Younger 2 dds!! well ll posted before as older one was very badly injured on a school trip last year and just about back on track with physical and psychiatric input.

Forgive me if think an open freezer door isn't actually the worst possible teenage crime and was trying to inject a bit of reality and humour to the op as we all need that to help us through those teen years.

Do you have teens bogey face?

ClippedPhoenix Wed 06-Mar-13 01:06:26

people have swapped corporal punishment for another kind which is equally as demeaning.

ClippedPhoenix Wed 06-Mar-13 01:01:46

I totally disagree with what most of you have said and I stand by the way I interact with my son.

I know I do the right thing by feeling quite like I've been given a gift.

My son at 15 constantly takes my breath away with his insight. His empathy and far more.

I have allowed that to happen, I havent made it happen.

I have however never "punished" him or taken anything from him that he likes.

Alonglongway Wed 06-Mar-13 00:59:58

Huge sympathy - I have DDs of 15 and 12 and the 12 yr is suddenly hungry all the time and constantly checking the fridge - DD1 not long out of this stage. Our fridge has a built in alarm so this has not happened to us but can entirely see how it would. I did once have to dump some freezer stuff after an ajar door that no one owned up to. Only thing I'd have done different with my own hindsight is to see what could be cooked up immediately so they learn the food hygiene lessons - get them involved in a solution, rather than just a massive punishment that makes them clam up. We do have lots of teen chaos these days and I am trying to ensure we all learn about rescuing situations we find ourselves in!

The teen brain thing is painfully true. - this reminds me of my own 14ish brain when I managed to destroy the element in our kettle - boiling and boiling it over again with not enough water so that eventually the little in there evaporated and the element died. To this day I remember my mum's fury when she couldn't make a cup of tea after work and I had no explanation for how I was unable to fill a kettle.....

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