ZOMBIE THREAD ALERT: This thread hasn't been posted on for a while.
to wonder if anyone else is driven slightly potty by a constant stream of silly questions from their DH?(177 Posts)
I love him dearly, but dear god!
Small sample from last 24 hours
I was helping DD2 wash her hair in the bath last night, she usually puts a flannel over her eyes as she's a bit funny about water going in her face and I realised there were no flannels in the bathroom
Me (to DH who is wafting around on the landing): can you just chuck me a flannel please?
DH: where are they?
Me: in the airing cupboard
DH: where in the airing cupboard?
It's a small cupboard, just look!
Me walking into the small downstairs loo
DH: where are you going?
Also this morning - DH works from home in an office in the garden. He came in for a tea/loo break just as I was emptying the washing machine
Me: can you just put this in the tumble drier please? (which he'd have to walk right past to get to the loo)
DH: where is it?
In the utility room, next to the toilet where it has been kept for the past 10 years!!!!!
DH: have you seen my car keys
Me: on the hook in the kitchen
DH: what hook?
The same sodding hook that he put up and has been hanging them on every single day for years
I am being lighthearted, he's not a complete dimwit and pulls his weight with the house and kids, but honestly, I sometimes wonder whether he actually lives here
Past 8 weekends, Sazpops? That's nothing! MrBits never ever put up the height boards we received from friends for ds when he was a year old. He is now 12, we have given them away, as he exceeded the maximum height on them before MrBits got round to putting them up........
I often get the 'are you okay?' or 'what are you thinking?' questions. Refuse to answer honestly because the answer to the first is 'don't get me started!' and the answer to the second one would blow his mind. I have a constant ticker tape of stuff to do and remember running through my head, so could rattle off a list of 257 things I need to do tomorrow....
I am getting better at refusing to 'find' things for dh though, although did use some impressive detective work recently. dh had lost his bank card and (predictably) asked me where it was after not finding it for a week or two. I told him that I last saw him use it while paying for something online, using his laptop, sitting on our bed. I then remembered something dropping on the floorboards at the end of our bed later that night when we went to bed. Went to check and bingo, there it was between bed base and blanket box. Quite frankly, I should have got a medal!
Still catching up reading the thread but just snorted wine over my keyboard at 'a uterus is not a tracking device' . Genius.
When DH does the rubbish man look "...
At first I thought you meant dustmen and had visions of dozens of dustmen knocking on front doors , saying "Do you want me to empty your bin? What, this one? This one here?" or "I can't see your dustbin" while women up and down the country led them by the ear to the big bin 2 feet away, saying "YES! THIS ONE!!"
When something goes missing, first person to blame is MOI. Obviously it COULDNT POSSIBLY be our THREE year old who loves hiding things in cupboards/tumble driers/washing machines/under sinks!!!
We call it "male pattern blindness" which is not to be able to find something - a jar of peanut butter for example-which is right at the front of the right shelf in the right cupboard.
When DH does the rubbish man look and says "it's not there" I usually say "do you need me to look in the exact same place". Cue him realising he's being rubbish.
Oh blimey,yes to all these.
And , like erowid, I put up a new picture the other day as DH had failed to do it for the past 8 weekends, despite saying he was going to every Friday night. It's hanging next to our bedroom door and you really can't go into the bedroom without seeing it, but he'd gone in six or seven times before I asked if he'd noticed anything and he finally spotted it.
And definitely yes to asking 'What's my password' for various internet stuff.
One day my head will just explode.
erowid: "What shelves? I haven't even put them up yet"
Thumbwitch: yes, my four year old DS1 has this terrible tendency too. I am trying to work through it, but with his grandfather's genes in him I am concerned I will not succeed.
You are obviously the new wife of my ex husband
It actually amazes me that so many men are happy to be enfeebled in this way, in fact actively seek to become this enfeebled.
It's like that story about the old man who, once widowed, doesn't know how many sugars he takes in his tea because his wife always answered for him. Less her being in control, more him not being arsed to remember such "trivia"!
I sincerely hope that my DSs do NOT continue this trend, but DS1 has already started with the "man looking" and he's only 5 (but has been doing it since was about 3) - I've stopped helping him look for stuff already, am very hard on him and tell him if he can't find it then it must be lost, oh well, too bad (toys) and "just keep looking it will be there somewhere" (shoes, clothes). Will it work?
Last night I caught a train home from work which is advertised on the main (London) terminal boards as being to "Station X, stopping only at Station X". Train starts. Guard announces "this is the such and such time train to Station X, stopping only at Station X where it will terminate". Train stops quarter of an hour later at Station X, a big Station X sign is clearly visible outside the window. Man turns to fellow passenger: "What station is this?"
Oh God, Freddie yes, the loitering with a cup of tea! DH does that too. Drives me mad.
I am not ungrateful, I just have my hands full of paperwork/baby/paintbrush/wet clothes. CAN YOU NOT SEE?!!
My major annoyance is the 'are you okay?' question. It is never rhetorical, as in an areyouokay type greeting. No bizarrely DH expects an answer. I try to ignore but he just asks again.
DH: are you okay?
DH: 'You okay, yeah?'
Me: 'mmm' <noncommittal, while actually thinking 'well, I have a bit of niggly headache, I'm a concerned that DD hasn't had her SALT appointment through, my shin is randomly hurting, I still haven't sorted out the mildew in the bathroom, I am pissed off that you have failed to rinse the tea down the sink AGAIN, I need to buy your mother a birthday card and THE DOG HAS JUST FARTED'
This is obviously not the answer that DH requires. This would stress him out too much. The sheer amount of stuff in my head is an utter alien concept to him as he bumbles through domesticity. But then he has a wife, doesn't he?!
Aaaargh! <goes to lie down in a darkened room>
"6 weeks later He asked me where something was and I told him I'd put it on the shelf in the hallway and he said "What shelves? I haven't even put them up yet""
My defence is that both me and my EX were very young when we got together, I grew up, he didn't. Don't think he has yet TBH!
My sons are a work in progress.
As usual, the solution is simple. Only form adult relationships with other adults.
And if it's too late for you make bloody sure that your sons grow into the sort of adults you would like your daughters to form relationships with.
And that your daughters grow into the sort of women who can hold out for a grown up!
MadderHat: Reminds me of my DH. I'd asked him for months to put 2 shelves up in the hallway but he always found something else to do, so one afternoon I put them up myself.
6 weeks later He asked me where something was and I told him I'd put it on the shelf in the hallway and he said "What shelves? I haven't even put them up yet"
One of my sons does the not really looking thing, If I need something, even if I specify exactly which room and where, he will go up and end up calling down that he can't find it.
My Dad does it too
Dad: where is the notepad
stepmum: its on the bookcase
Dad stands in front of bookcase, after a millisecond...
Dad: its not there ngaaaaaarrrrgh!
stepmum walks over to bookcase, reaches to 3rd shelf down and hands dad the notepad.
Its as though if it is not immediately visible, then it isn't there?
It is a very immature way of being IMO, it reminds me of the test they do with children, the one with the ball in a basket or a doll or something? forget the name they use for it.
Fakebook, I have read something about the way people see things, spatial something or other.
The man search is another one I can identify with, my EX used to be good at that, he'd empty a whole kitchen 'oddments' drawer over the worktop to find something that he could have found by moving 2 items to the side. That used to piss me right off as he would never put things back in any sort of order. Note he is my EX!
Another thing he would do was to be searching through a cupboard/drawer whatever, lots of sighing and mutterings of 'FFS' etc, Id helpfully ask 'what are you looking for?' he'd say 'nothing' so Id say 'ok then' and go and sit down, after about 20 mins more, he'd concede and come and ask where is the xxx and Id tell him exactly where it was. It was as if it hurt his pride to have to ask. Idiot.
Another one my EX was good at was asking me while supermarket shopping if I was finished yet? this would always happen when we were about half way round the supermarket! of course I'm not fucking finished you fool! I laughed once when he asked as my DS age 2 at the time piped up from his trolley seat 'NO!' before I could
The silly thing was, he could have not come shopping, but he always wanted to, probably just so he could read the magazines for free while he aimlessly followed me around.
I really don't miss that man.
My mother in law and father in law live in separate main residences, but he's at hers most weekends. Whenever he has a cup of tea, he wanders to the back of the living room and stares out at her garden. She had a conservatory built on the back of her living room. He didn't notice till several weeks after they starting eating dinner in there.
(He did, at least, notice when she turned her downstairs loo into a showerr before he used it...)
Oh, my husband.
I went so far as to buy a cabinet to keep just next to the door, and there is a drawer that is labeled "saski's husband's stuff". I put his wallet, his stop-smoking mints that he's addicted to, his papers that he leaves about - everything in here, except his keys, which I put on the giant key holder that's also just next to the door.
Then, I had a shoe rack built just inside the door, with his designated shoe place. I put his shoes here.
Then, I mounted box, just next to the door, labeled "scarves/hats/gloves" and I put his scarves, hats and gloves in it.
Every day when he leaves for work: "Saski, where are my keys? Saski, do you know where my mints are? Where is my wallet? Where is my scarf? Where is my XXX file?"
And I say, did you check the key rack, your drawer, your drawer, the scarf box, your drawer?
And so on. I find it so frustrating.
LOL, this has made me giggle....
DH does the "man look" as well, but he's pretty OK in other areas.
Mostly he's always looking for his lighter
DH - "I can't find my lighter"
Me - "Oh....."
DH - "I had it a minute ago" <<searches profusely>>
Me - "it's just there" <<points at it from the other side of the room where I can see it incredibly clearly"
Also, he gets annoyed when I move his stuff. But he leaves it everywhere, on the kitchen table, on the side etc. We have a two year old so I put things away to get them out of her way. Paperwork, letters, nail clippers, scissors etc. Sometimes I DO forget where I've put them (normally if she's about to grab something I've missed and I'll hastily hide it). But the point is....if he didn't leave it lying around everywhere then I wouldn't have to move it so he would know where it was.
I blame the house....it eats things
Me (to hubby whilst he was in the shower): Hubby, there is water coming through the ceiling in the kitchen (below the bathroom).
Hubby: Are you sure?
Me: Yes, it is dripping on my head.
Hubby: What kind of drip is it??
Yes tiger,but multi tasking is a thing of wonder to men, doncha know.
MY DH does all these things grrr
The most annoying thing he does is watch me running all the over the place like a blue arsed fly tiding up, cooking dinner, sorting things out in a multi tasking kind of way
DH (Sing song voice) "What you doing"?
Me (exasperated) "I'm fucking Brad Pitt, what does it look like I am doing"?
DH (Huffy) "I was only asking, I'll fuck off as you don't need my help"
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