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AIBU?

to wonder if anyone else is driven slightly potty by a constant stream of silly questions from their DH?

176 replies

freddiefrog · 27/02/2013 11:20

I love him dearly, but dear god!

Small sample from last 24 hours

I was helping DD2 wash her hair in the bath last night, she usually puts a flannel over her eyes as she's a bit funny about water going in her face and I realised there were no flannels in the bathroom

Me (to DH who is wafting around on the landing): can you just chuck me a flannel please?
DH: where are they?
Me: in the airing cupboard
DH: where in the airing cupboard?

It's a small cupboard, just look!

This morning:
Me walking into the small downstairs loo
DH: where are you going?

Also this morning - DH works from home in an office in the garden. He came in for a tea/loo break just as I was emptying the washing machine

Me: can you just put this in the tumble drier please? (which he'd have to walk right past to get to the loo)
DH: where is it?

In the utility room, next to the toilet where it has been kept for the past 10 years!!!!!

DH: have you seen my car keys
Me: on the hook in the kitchen
DH: what hook?

The same sodding hook that he put up and has been hanging them on every single day for years

I am being lighthearted, he's not a complete dimwit and pulls his weight with the house and kids, but honestly, I sometimes wonder whether he actually lives here

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Emilythornesbff · 27/02/2013 11:23
Grin
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MrsMushroom · 27/02/2013 11:25

Sounds like he's not "present" ...I do that when I work at home.

Lots of "Eh? Put the bread in the grill? Where?" type responses from me.

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samandi · 27/02/2013 11:25

That does sound vaguely familiar :-)

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stickingattwo · 27/02/2013 11:27

Sounds like you need a wife!

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ivanapoo · 27/02/2013 11:31

You're enabling him though. Why should he take responsibility when you'll take it for him? My new tack is to be as unhelpful as possible...

Where are my keys? Answer: I don't know.

My DH's special move is the "man-look".

DH: have you seen my wallet?
Me: I think it's on the dining table.
DH: looks on table it's not there...
Me: you're doing a man look.
DH: looks again no it's not there.
Me: goes to table and immediately sees wallet in obvious place, hands it to him

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mmmuffins · 27/02/2013 11:32

YANBU, there are times when DP clearly can't do basic things without me holding his hand and telling him what to do each stage of the way. Things like hoovering! I'm not exactly a domestic goddess myself but I know which way up the hoover goes (!), how to press the button to wind the cord back in, and that hoovering upstairs means more than doing the landing...

Use your initiative man!

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freddiefrog · 27/02/2013 11:37

We call it 'daddy looking'

i.e "have you looked properly or daddy looked?"

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BumpingFuglies · 27/02/2013 11:37

Oh yes, in a household of males, I get this all the time.

Me going out the door in work uniform with work bag:
DP - are you going to work darling?

Me on laptop:
DP - are you on the laptop?

Me to DS (14): There is no bread
DS - can I have a sandwich?
Me - there is no bread
DS - can I have toast then?
Me -

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HaveToWearHeels · 27/02/2013 11:38

This thread has made me chuckle.

I too have changed my stance on dealing with these types of questions...

DH - Have you seen my car keys ?
Me - No

Since having DD I don't have time to fanny around with him too.

This is my No 1 irritation.

DH - Where is the salt ?
Me - In the cupboard.
DH opens cupboard, looks "It's not there"
I walk over to said cupboard, moves vinegar, hey presto there is salt !

Are men unable to move things to find other things ?

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BumpingFuglies · 27/02/2013 11:40

HaveTo Grin

I shall have to try this when I get "Have you seen my..."

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Manchesterhistorygirl · 27/02/2013 11:41

Houseful of males here too, it's infuriating! We also have the man look.

I just now pass them the obvious thing they can't see with"the look".

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SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 27/02/2013 11:43

Don't forget the frustration of the repeated question - eg:

Dh - what's for supper, love?

Me - Bangers, mash and cabbage.
~
~
2 minutes later
Dh - what's for supper, love?

Me - same as what was for supper when you asked me 2 minutes ago.

Dh - yes, but what did you say?
~
~
5 minutes later
Dh - So what did you say was for supper, darling?

Me - ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!

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SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 27/02/2013 11:44

Oh - and I should have said yes to the man-looking and not knowing where anything lives!

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freddiefrog · 27/02/2013 11:45

I've had the bread/toast discussion with my eldest DD

We've also had
Me: you'll have to have toast or crumpets this morning, we've run out of milk
DD: can't I have porridge?
Me: no, there's no milk. Toast or crumpets
DD: can I have cereal then?
Me: aarrrggghhhh!!!!!

I'm not massively helpful, although I'm considering drawing him a map of our house and glueing it to him

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Stixswhichtwizzle · 27/02/2013 11:45

Grin sounds like my DH. I get super cross about 'man looking' it infuriates me that he never moves things when he looks and just stands there waiting for it to jump up and bash him in between the eyes!

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mrsbugsywugsy · 27/02/2013 11:46

ha, we also have a 'boy look' - the phrase 'I've looked everywhere' when uttered by a male actually means I've looked everywhere in my direct line of sight at this precise moment in time'

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VeremyJyle · 27/02/2013 11:46

As well as the manlook we have the Fred as in Uncle Fred who makes such an awful cup of tea no-one asks him again! DH did this washing the DDs hair last night Hmm, you have to wise up if they're genuinely useless at a task or just doing a Fred

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Bejeena · 27/02/2013 11:47

No they can't find anything in a cupboard unless it is right at the front, at least mine can't. If he does try and move things (very rare) he can never get them all back in!

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Viviennemary · 27/02/2013 11:51

I'm usually the one asking where things are. But DH drives me mad with his running commentary on what he's doing. I'll think I'll just read my book. I think I'll do this or I think I'll do that. Who cares. Just do it. That does sound awful but it's how I feel. Grin

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freddiefrog · 27/02/2013 11:51

No, DH can't f

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BumpingFuglies · 27/02/2013 11:52

Bejeena I use the cupboard thing to my advantage and hide my vodka chocolate behind the condiments Grin

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StuntGirl · 27/02/2013 11:53

My answer to silly questions is "I don't know" even when I do know the answer. Makes them look for the item themselves. Works a treat with the annoying girl at work who does it too.

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lynniep · 27/02/2013 11:54

oh yes. describes him to a tee.

Its normally just 'what are you doing?' thats enough to send me into an inner rage. I AM WASHING UP/ I AM MAKING TEA/ I AM WRITING A BIRTHDAY CARD TO YOUR MOTHER. USE YOUR EYES!

And the inability to find things. I have resorted to describing EXACT LOCATION of object rather than having to go find it myself e.g. Fridge. Middle Shelf. On left. Behind yoghurts. Tupperware container. Blue Lid. This relies of course on me remembering exactly where everything is.

And the repetition. If I have seen something I will attempt to describe its exact location. If I have not seen something (wallet/phone/radio are usual suspects ) then I will unlikely to have spotted it two minutes later when I am stuck in the kitchen cooking. I am still unlikely to have spotted it a further two minutes after that. So there is no point in asking me YET AGAIN.

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freddiefrog · 27/02/2013 11:56

Oops, posted too soon

DH can't find anything in a cupboard unless it's right at the front either. He can't find anything unless it's jumping up and down waving and yelling 'yoo-hooo!'

It's like he has to speak, whether it's a stupid question or a daft comment, he has to actually jus say something, anything

'are you going to have a bath?' as I'm walking into the bathroom wearing a dressing gown while the bath taps are running, it's like he's got verbal doody he'a

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Fakebook · 27/02/2013 11:57

I don't if this is true, but a colleague told me a few years ago that men tend to look for things in a very different way to women. I can't think of the right word right now, but men have a small visual window so tend to only look into one space if they're looking for something. Women will look all around the area they are searching in and will move things around to find their object.

I had never noticed before, but DH will never find something in a cupboard or drawer because he opens it, looks and shuts it whereas I open, move things, and normally find a lost item.

It may be something to do with the brain, but it's no excuse and is very annoying.

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