Other people's weddings

(155 Posts)
johnthepong Wed 20-Feb-13 11:05:36

Gone are the days when I could look forward to a wedding and enjoy the day out. Everyone seems so wrapped up in their own weddings they forget the rest of us have a life, or might have other shock weddings to go to. yes I should be grateful I have been invited but I am fed up with the things costing me a fortune.
Nobody has a hen night now, everybody has a hen weekend. Everybody has to do some "unique" activity which costs the rest of us a fortune. of course, the hen can't be expected to pay for her own fucking hen weekend so we all have to foot the bill. then, after said weekend, we all had to contribute to buy the bridesmaids a present to thank them for organising the weekend. When the duck did this start? surely that is the bride' s job?!
All anybody wants for their wedding these days is cash. Guess what- I don't have any left, I spent it all on your hen do. You can't just give someone £10 or £20, it's their WEDDING! So you feel obliged to give them more than you can afford. sad
Of course, my children aren't invited to any of their special days, so they get shipped off for another weekend without mummy, having only just returned after the hen weekend.
And then we all have to think of a "special" memory of me and the bride, and a special song that can be played at the special wedding.
I've got 3 like this in 2 months. I'm going to turn down the next hen invite I get. No family holiday for us this year.

chubbychipmonk Fri 22-Feb-13 13:59:08

Totally agree, it's worse when you're a bridesmaid! I spent nearly £600 in the run up toward being bridesmaid at BFs wedding. . Spa day, hen night, paying for her hen night, engagement present, wedding present, overnight stay at wedding, cost of drinks at wedding etc etc etc!! When I sat down & actually added it up I could've cried!!

ScarlettInSpace Sat 23-Feb-13 08:19:47

Oh yes, being maid of honour was one of the most expensive things I've done, especially when you include the £120 dress I had to buy that I didn't even like, shoes, hair, country house hotel at £100 a night for 2 nights, hen do and a fair amount of other incidentals... 6 months after the wedding the bride showed her true colours and I ended up with £2500 of her debt in my name. Suffice to say we dont speak. Never again!

I love a big posh wedding though, and hen do's are what you make them <hides>

ChestyLeRoux Sat 23-Feb-13 08:29:38

Ive been to countless weddings/hen dos
Never done anything abroad
Never put more than 20 quid in a card as thats the usual amount
Never paid for the hen as never heard of that

I took 20 quid out on my hen do thats all I needed and was hammered.

An average wedding/hen night for me costs about 60 including me going hen night,money and card and drinks for me,dh and our kids on the day.

You had to pay for all your own stuff when you were a bridesmaid?! OMG!

I get married next year and I will pay for dresses, shoes, make up and hair. I have asked them to get their own underwear as they don't need anything special.

WhataSook Sat 23-Feb-13 11:09:01

I wanted to elope for my wedding, we had agreed on South America and was in the process of organising it when DH's family said they would come to SA for the wedding!

We were living in Australia (where I'm from) and I thought if I cant elope with just the two of us we will marry in my country. We gave a year's notice to his family and friends and stressed that it would be nice to see everyone but that we were planning on moving to this side of the world a year after the wedding so would do a big party then.

Twenty of his family and friends made the trip, so I kept my side of the wedding to twenty also. But DH's friends then also wanted him to have a stag do, and then threw ridiculous amounts of money at us for a wedding present. I was mortified and tried to figure out how we could give the money back without offending. I knew some of lads couldnt afford it but had gone along with it which upset me.

I wasnt going to put myself in debt for my wedding day and I didnt bloody expect anyone else to either!

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