to want to kick dp in the balls!!!!!

(136 Posts)
InTheNightGarden Sun 10-Feb-13 17:59:55

We have a 22month old dd who is teething atm and is a nightmare! (No fault of her own)
And a week old ds.

We live in a small terrace house...SMALL! things are hard enough atm with dc and the fact we're moving in just 3 weeks and I've been trying to pack things up (no help from dp) he's had his brother here ALL weekend, all they've done is sit on their asses in the lounge playing fucking fifa!!! The lounge tv is the only one we have and I dont particularly get on with his brother (he's caused us a lot of problems!) so I've been in my bedroom all weekend with ds, he's had dd playing downstairs.

I was unaware his brother was staying! I was never asked, or even told, technically it's my house although he helps pay for things.

His friends have now turned up... I've gone upstairs with ds to express milk, he's come up telling me I'm rude and that I need to be downstairs to occupie his friends partners....my boobs are killing me there so full and there's only enough milk in the fridge for another 2 feeds.

I'm hungry! (Can't eat with people around, own problem I know) so havnt really eaten all weekend,my boobs kill, I'm tired from nights with ds, I'm sick of boxes everywhere and trying to organise everything, I'm fed up of dps attempts of licking my ass because he knows I'm annoyed he's been a cock all weekend.

And I don't feel I'm being rude by NEEDING to get this milk out my sodding boobs!! I just feel like crying... dp's now come and announced its my hormones! ...foot in balls very shortly!!!!!!!

raisah Mon 11-Feb-13 22:20:41

Go downstairs and start to change both your kids dirty nappies in the middle of the living room. Don't bag it up, leave it open so the smell starts to fill the room. Sit down on the sofa & start to breast feed (cover yourself with a shawl if you need to) & then ask your dh to make you tea & snacks. The sight of a breastt feeding woman & stinky nappies should get them to leave quite prompty. Don't rush to quieten the baby if it cries, let it scream & disturb the guests. By staying out of their way, you've let them take over your house so now it's time to claim it back.

I'm just bumping this for you ITNG to see if there's anyone in Somerset able to lend a friendly real-life ear.

Him walking out might be best for all of you. Do you think you have the strength to keep him out?

Please don't move, I can tell you first hand how terrible living with someone you don't love is. If you have even a tiny doubt, don't do it, I promise it's not too late.

Soditall Mon 11-Feb-13 19:44:22

What a wanker.I wish I lived closer,I'd come and do some batch cooking for you and help out with the LO's,I hope there's another Mum that's closer that can help out.I have 5DC and breastfed all 5 of mine,I know how hard it is when your having problems it can be flaming agony.

It may not feel like it right now but you and your LO's are worth so much more than him.

Newyearoldmum Mon 11-Feb-13 19:27:19

Hope you're ok OP

What a cock! Can't believe how he's treated you. I know it doesn't feel like it but you are better off without him. How far from bristol are you?

WandaDoff Mon 11-Feb-13 12:39:18

I'll come and kick him in balls for you if you'd like.

Nagoo Mon 11-Feb-13 12:34:24

How are you OP?

MrsHoarder Mon 11-Feb-13 09:53:43

I'm in north Somerset if you want someone meet for a coffee this afternoon.

Been lurking but had nothing to add (as it was fairly clear that everyone was telling you he is a waste I space.

mousebacon Mon 11-Feb-13 09:48:35

How are things this morning OP?

diddl Mon 11-Feb-13 07:45:39

Oh please don´t move with him.

Stay where you are & let him go.

He refused to cook because you were "rude"-isn´t that abuse?

PleasePudding Mon 11-Feb-13 05:09:00

You poor poor thing. I don't understand how anyone could treat a new mother like that. It is genuinely shocking. But I agree with the other posters that it is better to not have someone like that - you and your DC are worth so much more.

We moved when my daughter was three weeks and my son a toddler, I also had breast feeding problems which led to mastitis. I really do understand how horrible and unsettling it is having the move hanging over you and then the frustrations of difficult feeding - although it sounds like you are doing a great job with the expressing! Not to mention balancing the needs of your older child. It sounds like you are being heroic! I really hope you get some loving support soon, if not at least some professional packers maybe? They are great and come and do it all in a very small amount of time so you don't have to live in quite the same level of upheaval for quite so long. Frankly I think paying for professionals is the least that knobhead can do!

Really, really look after yourself - I do remember how hideous it all was and it is so so much better now and he is really not worth your tears.

CheerfulYank Mon 11-Feb-13 05:01:25

Ugh, what a dick! Honestly. I am sick to the back teeth of these worthless men! Just because they "can" walk away, they do! Fucking hell.

Sorry, OP. blush That's neither here nor there. I'm across the ocean or I'd come round. sad What a shitty situation to be in.

MidniteScribbler Mon 11-Feb-13 04:37:26

What a horrible excuse for a manchild. Your children will be better not having such a toxic role model in their home.

For your nipples, I had a very similar problem and the lanisoh wasn't really helping. It was so bad I was crying when trying to feed, and DS was refusing a bottle. My doctor prescribed a cream for me and it sorted the issue out within a day or so and I'm just weaning now at 12 months. I'm 3000kms from home at the moment so can't check the name, but the hospital were able to prescribe it for me. Good luck.

CSIJanner Mon 11-Feb-13 02:14:24

Is the house house paid for etc? Then it's never too late to pull out ESP with your circumstances. Are things a solutely signed or is it deposits etc for moving?Can you make calls tomorrow! You've got a week old, a teething toddler and a twunt of an ex-p. whilst people in the chain will be upset, it would be understandable xx

OHforDUCKScake Sun 10-Feb-13 23:31:56

Thats not true re tongue tie. The sooner it gets diagnosed the better.

If she thinks that, then she is clueless about tongue tie and wont be able to check for it properly. Id see someone else.
Also, try nipple sheilds.

WRT your dickhead DP, you are definitely best off out of it. Good ridance. Seej support here. X

DizzyZebra Sun 10-Feb-13 23:19:44

OH god i am so sorry i only read the first half of the thread

Flisspaps Sun 10-Feb-13 23:17:37

Dizzy, things have moved on since the OP.

Londonmrss Sun 10-Feb-13 23:15:46

massive auto correct fail in that last message. I did mean to use the cunt word though.

DizzyZebra Sun 10-Feb-13 23:14:50

Fuck NO you are not being unreasonable. Are you as obnoxious confident as me so you can throw them out of the house, whilst lecturing them on THEIR incredible lack of manners.

WTF seriously? I'm angry for you.

Londonmrss Sun 10-Feb-13 23:12:49

What a cunt.

Story about the bf problems. I had very similar and had to exclusively express for a few weeks. If you can afford it, rent a hospital grade pump lounge the Medela Symphony. Van also recommend nipple shield. I know bf support people advise against introducing shields so early but I wouldn't still be bf without them.

Sounds like you'll be much better without that asshole around. Hope you're ok though.

Nagoo Sun 10-Feb-13 23:01:15

Oh and YANBU about the kick in the balls.

Nagoo Sun 10-Feb-13 23:00:52

What. A. Dick.

Please try to get some sleep.

We'll be here in the morning.

Can you ring your mum?

I was going to say you'll need some help, but TBH day to day you'll probably cope better without that weight around your neck...

lottiegarbanzo Sun 10-Feb-13 22:58:38

So shocked, especially that someone who already has a child, so knows what's involved with babies, could be so selfish and behave so badly. Relieved for you that he's gone. Please don't forget this, don't accept excuses.

Hope things work out with the houses and you can feel you have a new start soon. Best of luck.

InTheNightGarden Sun 10-Feb-13 22:54:09

I'm in Somerset, anyone else here?

InTheNightGarden Sun 10-Feb-13 22:53:25

yourhand he acted like that the whole pregnancy in the end, luckily I had ds 2 weeks early so that was 2 weeks I didn't have to put up with that behaviour! I had my mum at the birth for support, he came too and shockingly he was great!! Since I've had ds he's still not come near me unless I make pathetic kissy noises... and it can't be a weight issue now as I'm back in my size 6/8 clothes with no stretch marks or anything and bigger boobs...I'd say my body is better now than ever! Ohhh welllll sad

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