Mumsnet Talk

Tomorrow will be the 3rd time MIL has come to babysit for us since our son was born, hes 7 months.

The 1st time dp and I went to ikea and when we returned she was prattling on and on about applying for child tax credits, all about how wonderful sil is eligible for them but doesnt claim - good for her, thought it was an odd topic but she is odd

so the next time she babysit upon our return she was now gabbering on about which local hospital is the best to go to, she didnt like the one i gave birth in and made it well known that it wasnt as good as the 1 her friends daughter went to, so again im thinking what on earth is she on about. Then after she had gone i opened a drawer in my bedside table only to find my next hospital appt check up letter was in there and it was clearly obvious that she had gone through it while i was out. I find this just really odd i know shes really nosey but to go through of all the things in the house my bedside drawer i just found weird. She has mentioned other things that have made me think how does she even know that but having put 2 and 2 together its clear shes snooping around while were out. I love her for coming to babysit, shes giving up her time but that doesnt mean come in and go through my things does it!

I mentioned it to DP nad he said yep she always used to do it to him and his sister growing up and in fact continued to clean their rooms up until the ages of 21 and 24 when they finally left home (believe me ive shared my views on that alone since i found out ).

so aibu to write a note something along the lines of "get out you nosey old cow" on a piece of paper. or something a bit more dramatic like some retirement home brochures with her name at the top

Well you could, or you could just say "By the way, I noticed that you have been through my private correspondence. Please dont do that again"

Move your personal stuff to a locked cupboard or something for when she's over to babysit.

Totally do the note thing, if she says anything look shocked at her and say 'You've been going thro my things?!'

Ooooh yes - am sure the mn hive mind can help compose just the right note too!

Nah you want a massive strap on and a large tube of lube. That'll teach her for snooping

Yes, OP, do THAT. She will not be able to say a word and, if by some chance she's telephathic and wasn't snooping, she'll never be any the wiser.

Leave sexy pics of dh?

However.....if you do decide to go down the passive aggressive route, I suggest you type out a letter and leave it in your husbands drawer telling him that he has congenital syphilis which means he was born with it and therefore his mother needs to be tested ASAP.

Do it! YNBU at all, she is! How dare she go through all your stuff like that, what a huge invasion of privacy! I think you've got exactly the right idea how to handle it, go for it!

Put a note in all your drawers with the message 'You are currently being watched on our hidden camera'

Yeuch. My mum does this (or did until dementia struck). I felt invaded. I gave up keeping anything in downstairs areas but would often come home to find kids downstairs and her wandering upstairs.

Get a lockable filing cabinet/ desk/ drawer?

But as there isn't time, just pop a note at the top of the drawer with a smiley face, saying "Hello MIL'sname!"

If she doesn't go in the drawer, no harm done. If she does, it's not rude, but lets her know you know what she's been doing.

Loving the syphalis and massive strap on ideas btw, excellent ideas!

The rooting around is a bit stalkerish in itself, but it's the fact that she has to communicate it to you that makes it a bit creepy to me.

If you're doing it to find out private things about a person, you don't go and tell them you've done it because most people know it's totally out of order to do that.

So either she doesn't know she's being out of order and thinks she has a right to nose about your things, or she likes knowing you know she's looking through your private letters, possibly because she sees you not pulling her up on it as you saying it's OK?

Either way I would say something outright, she's not going to take the hint from a sarky letter I don't think.

I like the hidden camera idea

Write a note to dh explaining that you can't put up with his secret gay lifestyle anymore and you are leaving to live with your friend until he sorts himself out and comes out to his family.

What suffolk said

oh yes yes! have a drawer of pure filth porn mags, lube, strap on's the works and then pretty pretty please come back and tell us nosey bitches concerned people how you got on

the sensible grown up thing to do is have a conversation and ask her to stop

i am more of a passive aggressive type person when it comes to confrontation, so i think post it notes in every drawer is a fabulous idea,

they should read
"i can tell when you have been looking through my things. please stop"

then she can't mention it ever without admitting snooping, and you've told her nicely to fuck off.

its perfect

well as for sexy pics of dp i have some of him in speedos on holiday once but they're really only for bribing purposes when i really really want something.

and im afraid my budget wont push to purchasing a drawer full lube and massive dildo's, so im stuck with 2 options

a. the note and an open dirty nappy courtesy of ds to scare her away

b. staying up most of the night learning how to use photoshop. so i can copy a picture of dp's face onto someone having sex with a horse. Then leaving a camera out to film her when she sees it.

You need to do lines so she can't miss the fucker!

Mil you snooping old witch.
Mil you snooping old witch.
Mil you snooping old witch.

Ten times on a piece of paper in every single place she shouldn't be. The snooping witch!

One word 'mousetrap'!

Well ok, maybe not, but I'm sure I read on here once about printing off the visa application forms to emigrate to Australia etc, filling them in, and leaving them the drawer. Been trying to get my friend to do it for years, as her MIL does the same!

Photoshop.
The sleepless night will be worth it.

MyCarHasBrokenDownAgain

You win!!

I love it, its easy, i can print them off for free and it will certainly get the message as there is no way she would let her darling 36 year old son leave the city let alone the uk.

Im printing off info right now!!!

I was ready to blast you as I thought it was another thread complaining of a mil, who babysits. (mine doesn't live near enough).

This is awful behaviour, but I would leave something she'd be shocked about and maybe not bother again.
Why not hide, file in a safe everything personal. In your drawers put a naughty mag or two. Another drawer some hand cuffs, whip and loob. The list is endless and well worth the investment.
Lord knows what topic on conversation she will find when you return