to ttc if I think I will abort if the HG sets in again?

(506 Posts)
ICBINEG Mon 04-Feb-13 17:26:48

So DH and I have conceived immediately on two occasions, one early miscarriage and one birth. I had hideous soul destroying sickness almost all of the way through pregnancy. We are beginning to start thinking about having another child, but I feel almost certain I couldn't go through another pregnancy like the last one. My understanding of HG is that it is unlikely to strike twice (although you are slightly more likely to get it if you had it before) and that each pregnancy may be fine or not.

So is it unreasonable to ttc if I think I might abort due to HG?

If we conceive and then I get horribly sick is it unreasonable to abort and try again?

Given we would only ever have one more child and seem to be able to conceive at will this might be more a case of choosing to bring to term the baby that doesn't make me horrendously sick for 9 months rather than wasting life etc.

I'm not sure I can really buy into that argument though....

(ps. if you are of the never abort under any circumstances camp then please don't bother posting...I know that opinion exists and am not in the slightest bit swayed by it. I am interested in hearing from other with grey zone opinions on abortion as to which side of their personal line this falls).

IneedAsockamnesty Thu 07-Feb-13 01:22:38

It was dreadful, and your right the pregnancy is not a illness thing often gets twisted round, I will say tho ever since that occasion I have been treated very well by every other midwife i have had and with every other pregnancy, my last pregnancy they started treating me the day I found out, I saw my gp who sent me straight to the hospital to see something called the early pregnancy unit and I got a consultant straight away who was great HG was there area of interest and I cannot fault them, I still got it it still wasn't nice but they were on it.

None of this go away come back in a week dear its just ms that had happened before.

Its why I get so antsy about people describing it as just ms and not getting there head around the fact that its not.

Lyrasilvertongued Thu 07-Feb-13 01:37:09

this must be such a difficult decision to make. I only had ms, bad enough to be off work but nothing close to HG, and that combined with a pretty awful labour has made me think I might not be able to bring myself to ttc another child. This is hard as I always thought I'd like two or more dcs - but I'm not invested in this as I know others are, and I don't dream of a big family like some do. I hope you get the support you need to help make the decision, which is one for you and your dh to make really.

PessaryPam Thu 07-Feb-13 04:02:35

If I were you I would not be TTC until I was fully recovered from the PND. You still sound like you are in a state. Shame surrogacy isn't widely available.

ICBINEG Thu 07-Feb-13 09:47:14

spoke to DH about it last night...he said he loves the daughter he has so much that he wouldn't want to risk her happiness by trying for another unless we were both very certain we could cope with it.

I think I may actually be starting to come to terms with only having one child. I certainly am coming to terms with the idea that having a mentally stable mum might be more important than having the 'perfect' age gap.

AmandaPayne Thu 07-Feb-13 09:56:00

So pleased you had a positive chat. Your Dh is absolutely right. Although i would add not risking your health and happiness too.

You seem to have moved quite a long way in just this thread in terms of thinking about yourself and not what you feel you ought to do- ie somehow provide a sibling with a perfect age gap despite not being ready. Good luck on whatever you decide to do.

blondecat Thu 07-Feb-13 10:18:35

Research It. Think it through. Discuss it with your DH. And a consultant.

Don't assume TTC will always be easy. Secondary infertility is a byatch
As are strings of unexplained MCs after 1 or 2 continuing pregnancies.

There are so many factors in play here that we on mm can't know.

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