To be annoyed at DH's cousin

(33 Posts)
MrsLDTE Thu 24-Jan-13 10:17:19

Im 6+4 with DC1 so haven't announced my pg yet but DH's cousin (who is only 17) has just announced she is 10wks pg with DC2, I know it was unintentional but I feel like she's stolen my thunder sad I know I'm BU but has anyone else felt unreasonably annoyed at someone elses pg announcement?

DoJo Thu 24-Jan-13 10:24:56

Don't worry - presumably it will be another 6 weeks before you announce yours so everyone will have had plenty of time to get used to (or bored of, depending on how much she goes on about it) her announcement.

Darksideofthe80s Thu 24-Jan-13 10:51:47

Will many people be congratulating her being pg with dc2 at just 17?

MrsLDTE Thu 24-Jan-13 10:59:35

you would be surprised Darkside
thanks for the reassurance Dojo
I just really wanted it to be special when I announce mine and now i feel like it will be old news

TheFallenNinja Thu 24-Jan-13 11:01:58

I guess you probably have very separate circles of friends, I think your thunder is intact smile

17confused

TheVermiciousKnid Thu 24-Jan-13 11:05:07

Congratulations on your pregnancy smile, but as you say, YABU!

pictish Thu 24-Jan-13 11:05:12

No. Never.

Having a baby is not your exclusive right alone. She's not stealing your limelight - she's having a baby too! That's lovely!

I'm not going down the whole 'she's only 17' route because I do not believe having a baby at 17 is the worst thing in the world. There are terrific 17 yr old parents, and shite 35 yr old parents.

MrsBungleBear Thu 24-Jan-13 11:09:42

Yabvu to be annoyed at her. Suggesting someone is stealing your thunder because they got pregnant before you is ridiculous.

HighJinx Thu 24-Jan-13 11:10:16

My DBro and SIL announced their pregnancy at a family party about a minute before DH and I were about to announce our engagement. We kept quiet and said something a couple of weeks later. Two weeks after that my DSis and BIL announced that they were having a baby too.

It was fine and I think everyone got enough attention etc. Having 2 new nephews was very, very exciting and no less so because they were born 5 weeks apart.

My Dad was a bit 'bloody hell what now?' every time anyone said anything for weeks after that though grin

YABU.

Exepcting nobody in your immediate family to get pg.so it doesnt over shaddow yours hmm

There may very well be someone pg in your family when you announce - how very dare you steal their thunder.

DeepRedBetty Thu 24-Jan-13 11:15:21

yanbu to feel faintly upset in an irrational manner. y would bu if you didn't realise it IS irrational. Unlike several posters upthread I've read your OP properly!

Congratulations to both you and dh's cousin.

Lonelynessie Thu 24-Jan-13 11:15:32

First of all, being pregnant at 17 is not something you or anyone else should be judging her for hmm. She has as much right to be congratulated for her pregnancy as you have for yours. Yabu.

LittleprincessinGOLDrocks Thu 24-Jan-13 11:21:58

YABU
I have been in a similar situation twice. With both my pregnancies my SIL has announced her pregnancy a couple of days before me. Instead of over shadowing each other we enjoyed 9 months of sharing experiences and supporting each other.
I never felt she stole my thunder either time, nor did she feel I had stolen hers, it was lovely how the family really came together.
I did wonder how it would work come the babies been born, my DD was born 2 weeks before my DN, and to be honest I was glad of the break from family visits when DN was born, as the in laws went betweeen visiting 2 babies rather than just visiting us!

I am sure your family will make a fuss of you regardless of your DH's cousin being pregnant!

MrsReiver Thu 24-Jan-13 11:23:28

YANBU to feel upset, as long as you realise you're being unreasonable IYSWIM.

I'm sure you won't let her find out, but just to be sure, please make sure she never, EVER finds out how you feel. DH and I announced our pregnancy to friends and family a couple of weeks before my SIL announced hers. It's since got back to me that she is really angry with me because I've "stolen her thunder" and it has hurt me enormously.

MrsLDTE Thu 24-Jan-13 12:13:32

MrsReiver I'd never say anything about it in RL which is why I've come on here to rant.
Like I said I know I'm BU but I can't help the way I feel and I wouldn't mention it to her or DH, and I know I shouldn't judge her for her age but you are forgetting I know what she's like in RL hmm

mrsjay Thu 24-Jan-13 12:19:33

yes my cousins wife TWICE all the kids are the same age except hers are older than mine angry you get over it honestly <bitter> grin

Theicingontop Thu 24-Jan-13 12:21:46

You probably had an idea in your head about what the reaction would be, and if that matters a lot to you then you wouldn't be unreasonable in feeling disappointed. They'll probably reference his cousin and point out they'll have two new babies in the family, not exactly the world revolving around you and your announcement. But she didn't do it on purpose, so yabu for being annoyed at her.

No idea what her age has to do with it tbh. Sounds like she has a supportive family for them to be happy for her.

littlemefi Thu 24-Jan-13 12:24:10

Cos she obviously got pregnant on purpose just to steal your thunder?

I'm sure people that know you both will be happy for you both!
But as you know you are perhaps being a bit irrational, and not saying it to people in RL, then, no YANBU really.

HyvaPaiva Thu 24-Jan-13 14:13:05

Firstly, it is immature to think that any pregnancy is about 'stealing someone's thunder'. Secondly, her age has nothing to do with this. I think it's offensive that Darkside assumes no-one will/should congratulate her due to her age and number of DC and OP you agree ('you'd be surprised') ...why do you deserve congratulations yet she doesn't? You're making yourself sound patronising, entitled and childish. Congratulations are in order for both pregnancies.

Its entirely possible to be happy for 2 or even more people at the same time. YABU (but you know that anyway).

YABU. If there's one born every minute in the UK that's a hell of a lot of thunder stealing.

Also it's really bloody off to suggest that a young parent shouldn't be congratulated or met with anything other than appalled silence.

yabu carry on with your announcement and let her carry on too. I had my son at 17 and not one person congratulated me on my pregnancu it was an isolating time.enjoy your pregnancy it will be special regardless of who else is pregnant

WorraLiberty Thu 24-Jan-13 14:25:45

What Pictish said.

MrsLDTE Thu 24-Jan-13 18:11:19

I've caused a lot more drama than I anticipated for just having a quick unreasonable (I know I'm being unreasonable and have said so fro
the beginning) moan that I feel when my turn arrives to announce my pg that people from my DHs side will be bored of hearing about early pg symptoms and cooing at scans etc.
I am not saying that being 17 equates to being a bad mum or that she doesn't deserve congratulating I personally find it frustrating that DH and I work incredibly hard to support this culture that babies a fashion accessories and that having a child equals benefits-no not all young mums have this attitude and those that do aren't just young. But the cousin in particular does have this attitude-can't be bothered with education or work so I'll have several one night stands instead.

foslady Thu 24-Jan-13 18:43:23

I understand where you're coming from, and I guess you've come on here because once you've said it out aloud into the ether you can forget it and move on - a bit like the 'It's not her turn'. You know it's totally irrational but when you want to announce you big 1st time news, then someone else who's been there done that announces the same type of news before you, then yes, I'd have a moment like you have BUT now you can move on, and no one has made an announcement on your side of the family, so enjoy that 'new' news feeling with them!

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