To ask if you would let a new boyfriend bathe your 7 year old daughter?

(145 Posts)
TeenTwinsToddlerandTiaras Tue 22-Jan-13 14:47:45

A friend of mine did this and I am not suggesting anything untoward went on at all but I found it very odd.

This little girl has had to cope to witnessing DV and now has to cope with a new man in her life almost immediately that her father left. Now 'friend' has him bathing her and completely stripping away her dignity imo.

AIBU to give this 'friend' a piece of my mind?

andtheycalleditbunnylove Tue 22-Jan-13 21:32:53

it is absolutely wrong.

GregBishopsBottomBitch Tue 22-Jan-13 22:04:27

Why does a 7 year old need help washing herself, my 5 year old DD is perfectly capable, and i wouldnt want a strange man bathing my child.

Asamumnonsense Tue 22-Jan-13 22:12:01

New boyfriend? no its absolutely not ok! She surely at 7 can wash herself. It must be uncomfortable for the little girl.

makemineamalibuandpineapple Tue 22-Jan-13 22:18:50

No, definitely not. To me the fact that he is new is only part of the issue, the chances are he is a decent guy and nothing untoward would happen ever. However, at 7, she should be given personal boundaries and allowed privacy. I wouldn't go in with my own DS at that age. I am within shouting distance and will pop in if he's forgotten his towel but I won't stay in with him anymore. He's 9 now btw but it's been like this for at least 2 years.

ImperialBlether Tue 22-Jan-13 22:24:52

Read the thread!

rhondajean Tue 22-Jan-13 22:25:56

No definitely not, but I should also add I still help my 8 yo dd bath, I wash her back and neck and check behind her ears, she does arms legs body and bum, sometimes I go over her feet between toes erc and I still wash her hair. She likes this, if she started objecting I would stop, but she doesn't always get herself the cleanest (and she loves getting her back washed!). I'm not sure a 7 yo can properly clean themself on their own?

But a half - proper wash occasionally doesn't do any harm if you are washed regularly and I would never ask anyone apart from DH, her sister or her gran to help her wash.

makemineamalibuandpineapple Tue 22-Jan-13 22:30:34

I just need to clarify, are the OP and Teen the same person??

makemineamalibuandpineapple Tue 22-Jan-13 22:32:55

Sorry I said that wrong blush Does the OP mean she is the little girl in her original post?

Asamumnonsense Tue 22-Jan-13 22:33:19

Oh sorry Teen! I did not read all the posts. Sorry about the bad feeling resurfacing! I am also so overprotective of my 5 years old and that it because it also happens to me when i was a child.. Therapy is a good way of dealing with it, it really helps. keep these sessions.

DeepRedBetty Tue 22-Jan-13 22:37:11

Yes makemine she is.

Ohhelpohnoitsa Tue 22-Jan-13 23:08:01

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Ohhelpohnoitsa Tue 22-Jan-13 23:16:25

sorry only read pg1. asked for post to be withdrawn.

lotsofdogshere Wed 23-Jan-13 09:42:09

I'd be very worried about this, it is totally inappropriate on so many levels.

expatinscotland Wed 23-Jan-13 09:43:30

I'd report this, tbh.

gimmecakeandcandy Wed 23-Jan-13 09:57:12

I'm so sorry you are dealing with this. Did other things happen? Do you still see your mother and him, do your children see them? I hope therapy helps you confront her. She let you down. Badly.

mrsjay Wed 23-Jan-13 09:58:16

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

WhateverTrevor Wed 23-Jan-13 10:05:31

Wish people would read the thread before posting.
Glad you're getting help op

halfthesize Wed 23-Jan-13 10:14:36

OP this is so sad, I hope the therapy helps you. There really r some awful people out theresad

Branleuse Wed 23-Jan-13 10:16:28

It wasnt OK op. Im sorry youve been through this and had to blank things out.

Big hugs. You are not overreacting x

CrapBag Wed 23-Jan-13 10:24:20

Oh no thats awful Teen. I remember my dads friend (who I had known for years) accidently walked in the bathroom once when I was in the bath, I was a little older than 7 but he was absolutely horrified and left asap. Thats how any normal man would react.

Your mother let you down. Does she know how you feel or about the therapy? Is she still with him? What about the baby they had together?

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