Note: Please bear in mind that whilst this topic does canvass opinions, it is not a fight club. You may disagree with other posters but we do ask you please to stick to our Talk Guidelines and to be civil. We don't allow personal attacks or troll-hunting. Do please report any. Thanks, MNHQ.

To think refusing to walk in the snow because you're pregnant is a little ridiculous?

(253 Posts)
Catsnotrats Sun 20-Jan-13 16:36:12

OK you can all slate me if you want as I haven't been pregnant myself and am only basing this on instinct rather than any fact.

However a friend and colleague of mine is 13 weeks pregnant and has been 'banned' by her dh from walking anywhere while it is snowy, including to work which is a 15 min walk for her. They don't drive so she has been housebound all weekend. We live in london so it's not a case of 10 feet drifts. She is quite happy to go along with this, and is planning on getting a taxi tomorrow instead. I'd have personally thought that driving in the snow with an unknown driver is more dangerous than walking.

I know this is non of my business really, it's just that I'm getting a but fed up with her extreme preciousness since she's been pregnant (she was generally sane before!). I've had a number of friends and colleagues who have been pregnant and I've never been irritated by them being cautious about various things before. It's just her and her constant pfb behaviour before they are even here that is driving me mad!

Ok rant over, and as I said you can all give me a virtual slap if you like.

Nancy66 Mon 21-Jan-13 19:04:28

I am not pregnant and a complete wuss about walking on ice after falling and breaking my wrist several years ago.

MrsOakenshield Mon 21-Jan-13 19:01:31

I live in inner city London and the pavements were like glass today, worse this afternoon and I slipped over whilst carrying a 3-year-old and jarred myself horribly.

YABU. I had multiple miscarriages prior to my one successful pregnancy and there is no way I (or DH) would have taken any unneccessary risks, even if the reality is that they wouldn't have caused a problem. My body my baby my choice. Fuck all to do with anyone else when it isn't affecting them in any way.

thebody Mon 21-Jan-13 18:16:25

With Pfb you can treat yourself like cut glass and why bloody not.

Sick of pregnant women being told its 'normal' and being expected to work till the head crowns, having 2 days off and then a fucking size 8 two weeks later.

Let her enjoy herself and mind your own business.

Of course when she gets to no 4 her dh won't be quite so protective!!!

LPplusOne Mon 21-Jan-13 18:08:09

commute (not sure what a 'communte' is!)

LPplusOne Mon 21-Jan-13 18:06:52

* I forgot to add that this was the final 'necessary' communte before my due date and from now on I'm going to be lounging at home in my dressing gown! No reason to stress myself, my body or (potentially) my baby by playing Preggo Wonder Woman. DP can do all the shopping and school runs for a good long while. grin

Chunderella Mon 21-Jan-13 18:04:01

Asda, atthewelles? Luxury! If you were really hard, you'd have done it in Lidl. In the middle of the bread aisle, instead of swanning off to some lavishly appointed stockroom.

Nicely summed up forgetmenots.

LPplusOne Mon 21-Jan-13 17:54:40

I read most of this thread in the middle of the night during a horrid bout of insomnia and then had to walk 20 mins to the station this morning to catch a train. I'm 37+ weeks pregnant and it was scary. I was slipping everywhere, body off balance and dealing with pelvic pain. Luckily DP came with me to act as physical support - thank goodness, because I probably would've gone down at least once had I been on my own. Same would be true if I weren't pregnant. I see no reason to judge anyone else's decisions about how they deal with travelling through ice and snow!

DrCoconut Mon 21-Jan-13 17:37:52

I was 6 months pregnant in the 2010 snow and didn't much like walking on the ice. It's a half hour hike down to work and I don't drive. I took quite a while to get pregnant with DS2, we were starting to wonder if there was a problem, so I was really concerned about risking his safety. Work still insisted I go in as it is possible to get a taxi and I did just that on some of the bad days.

forgetmenots Mon 21-Jan-13 17:36:16

It's yet another way to guilt expectant mothers.

If you go skateboarding over buses/climbing Everest at 36 weeks, you're hardnosed and selfish. If you are cautious about what you're doing, you're precious and entitled.

This can be applied to everything from eating habits, choices on testing, you name it. How about we will all do our best and what is comfortable for us and stop judging other mums? (And don't get me started on judgey men...)

3littlefrogs Mon 21-Jan-13 17:25:35

I hate this whole business of women criticising other women for having differing attitudes to and experiences of pregnancy. Everyone is different. I had HG with all my pregnancies, and lost my first one because of it.

I was working on labour ward at the time that I lost the pregnancy, and my manager, a midwife, was so nasty to me because I had 2 weeks off sick during and after the miscarriage. She had never been pregnant herself.

I actually gave up my midwifery career after that. sad

OP does it matter in any way to you how your friend gets to work? Just smile and grit your teeth.

I slipped and fell on ice when pg and gave myself a really good bump on my tailbone. TG everything turned out ok but I did find it harder to balance as pg went on. If I had yaktraks or similar I would have been less wobbly I think. I don't think they existed then.

My dp was the same with me but I was 38wks and fell over most days... I also had a bad fall when 12wks with dc2 in the snow, I was in pain for months after so imo yabu!

atthewelles Mon 21-Jan-13 17:05:25

Did I mention Chunderella that I was pregnant with triplets at the time - triplets that I delivered in the backroom of Asda before wrestling my trolley back out of some chav's hands and carrying on with the weekly shop. Whose a fucking wimp now????

SignoraStronza Mon 21-Jan-13 16:51:14

Just got back from sledging down flood banks with dc1 (well, I supervised). I didn't do any sledging, as had dc2 securely attached to my front. Last time I joined in - which will would have put me at about 5 months pregnant.

I do feel a bit wary of walking on compacted snow\icy pavements carrying the baby though, which I'd imagine is how she would feel at an early pregnancy stage. So yes, you are probably being slightly unreasonable but if she gets on your nerves anyway, can easily see how you'd want to take a pop at just about anything (I feel a bit like that about silwink ).

Chunderella Mon 21-Jan-13 16:45:55

Dead right Babushka. And Atthewelles you're a fucking wimp. I went into space at 38 weeks and performed my own c-section whilst orbiting the moon, and tap dancing. Skateboarding across buses is for losers.

I really can't bear how some people seem to think that doing it differently to them= wrong. Because they felt well enough to go out in the snow or do X activity during pregnancy, that was definitely the right thing to do, universally, and nobody else could possibly have any justification for deviating from their example. Those who are listing all the things you did during pregnancy- this is not actually about you. Lest anyone should think me biased btw, I did go out in the snow during pregnancy and don't regret that decision. Doesn't mean OP is being precious for not doing as I did, though.

atthewelles Mon 21-Jan-13 15:58:21

When I was 36 weeks pregnant I re-tiled the roof, fed all the starving in Africa and then skateboarded across 6 buses just for a bit of fun.
Some people are such precious wimps!

HopAndSkip Mon 21-Jan-13 14:54:52

View it as the same as walking carrying a newborn. If the woman falls it could harm the baby. It's a risk, and so up to her if she feels it's safe with the ice or not.

Eskino Mon 21-Jan-13 14:13:40

Does it matter? I don't go out in the snow cos I bloody hate the stuff.

RooneyMara Mon 21-Jan-13 14:10:44

I'm not being competitive btw in case that sounded odd...quite the opposite.

I'm trying to explain to people that often you have no control over how much you are able to do. However much you really want to be Ok.

RooneyMara Mon 21-Jan-13 14:08:46

Laqueen - lucky you! I'd have given anything to still be able to function enough for housework, in my recent pregnancy.

By 36 weeks I was in so much pain I could barely do anything.

Saying that with ds1 I was still riding a motorcycle at 7 months, including dropping it and lifting it by myself...possibly more stupid than admirable.

Ds2 I wasn't too bad either, but my third really was difficult. It's hideous not being able to move/walk/do anything.

I don't know how it feels to have tried and waited so long for a baby to be extremely protective though. I reckon people who are very 'precious' about it often have a reason for this and who am I to judge. I was probably a bit too cavalier with risks that might affect my babies while I was pregnant...not smoking or drinking etc but just being as active as I could, with basically not much help from anyone.
Sometimes you have to lift something heavy, run after another child, etc.

PickledInAPearTree Mon 21-Jan-13 14:08:39

Babooska grin

perceptionreality Mon 21-Jan-13 14:07:42

Why do people start threads like this? Why is it any of your business and why do you care?

I am not pregnant and I don't like walking in it because underneath the snow is an ice rink and it's very easy to slip over.

AllYoursBabooshka Mon 21-Jan-13 14:04:05

Indeed Pickled.

"I took part in and WON an episode of Gladiators when I was 40 weeks... With a small man attached to my back. Well 'ard me."

Bully for you! It doesn't make you better than the women who can't do such things. It's called luck, arseholes and if you had an ounce of perspective you would be able to see that.

Actually, thinking about it I would love DH to ban me from walking. He could then stagger carry me around everywhere whilst I remain on my fat arse eating biscuits smile

forgetmenots Mon 21-Jan-13 13:45:15

Hear hear pickled. Each to their own, for some things will be fine and not for others. I don't want to take flights any more, for example, as I felt quite uncomfortable when I did early in pregnancy. I realise it's fine, and I'd never judge others for doing so. I just didn't feel comfortable and if people think that = precious, sod them!

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now