To want DH to get a grip and seriously shed the weight?

(129 Posts)
ali23 Wed 16-Jan-13 19:30:12

Ok. Here goes. DH is Type 1 diabetic and has been for a decade. When he was diagnosed he was 'chunky' but very fit: football two or three times a week, walked plenty, played badminton and swam. He was a 34 inch waist. He contracted a viral infection and subsequently was diagnosed with diabetes in his late 20s. He has always been relatively fit but had to be on top of his weight - he has a big frame. Upon diagnosis of diabetes he did no exercise for a year as his blood sugars were just too erratic.
Slowly he took up exercise sporadically only to drift in and out of it. In the process the pounds began to pile on. For a long time we worked at it together - healthy eating, walks, etc. However, there are now 3 DC and DH has slowly over a number of years become obese.
I am in despair about this. He cannot walk because his back and calf gets too sore. He won't swim (alone or with kids) as he is too self-conscious. He refuses Weight watchers or any other slimming class, insisting that he can do this himself. He refuses any kind of professional help.
He needs to get rid of abut 6 stone. I am fully committed to helping him achieve this but I am so so frustrated. He will not exercise and can barely make it to the park with us. He is also continuing to eat crap but tells me he isn't. It is the continual procrastination that worries me/depresses me and now makes me so angry.
I appreciate it isn't easy but now, in his early 40s, he needs to seriously wise up and realise that as a family we need him to be fit and healthy.
Two years ago he lost 2 stone following a low carb diet but has since put it all back on.
We had a blazing row about it last night and I don't know where else to turn. I can't talk to friends about it as I would feel incredibly disloyal to DH. But what can I do? How can I get him off the couch?

FergusSingsTheBlues Fri 18-Jan-13 11:40:10

Yanbu. But im shocked at how many posters on here are up in arms about you wanting to tackle this. Id be worried too.

All you can do is run a tight ship mealwise, get him to a GP, and get physical activity organised every weekend for all of you. Its a very hard mindset to break though and ultimately up to him. Can you consuder counselling?

VenusStarr Fri 18-Jan-13 11:49:49

Do you have Health Trainers in your area? Their role is to support individuals who struggle to make lifestyle changes. They can work on a one to one basis with people to understand their barriers to making lifestyle changes and provide motivational support.

VenusRising Fri 18-Jan-13 11:57:25

Sounds like he has no hope, that he's given up, and checked out.
I wish you all the very best.

Oblomov Fri 18-Jan-13 12:21:54

No hope?
nonsense.
7 year cycle of diabetes. At 14, 21, and 28, I went through a bit of rebellion. Got fed up of testing my blood sugars 7 times a day, and stopped. Drank loads of alcohol. and ate loads of chocolate. And guess what after a short time, I was back in the game.
grin

I've got another one due in a couple fo years - tee hee.

Lets not dismiss the bloke, just yet.

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