So I'm staying at parents as we are having our home redecorated before a move.
My ds is 7. He came home from a party today and was being aggressive (hiting the walls)and calling me names. my parents overhear all this.
I want to discipline without smacking as I just don't see it as a useful method if discipline. My father doesn't agree and says if ds did this behaviour with him in charge he would give him ' a bloody good hiding'. I feel so upset he could do that and know it wouldn't work long term. Df thinks he will be a delinquent teen with the behaviour he us showing.
After ds calmed down. He apologised to me (without prompting) and I explained why his behaviour was unacceptable.
Just looking for reassurance from mn that I don't need to use physical discipline to get him to behave.
I found out after the event that he hadn't had any tea at the party, which often has a negative effect on his behaviour.
That is a fair point, Randall, but it does sound as if there was no immediate action from the OP, or immediate consequences for her ds, and I do think that, at that age, and in those circumstances, something immediate was needed - to stop the behaviour, to show the OP's father that the OP wa dealing with what the boy was doing, and to give the boy a warning and a chance to calm down.
Absolutely, I'm playing devil's advocate I know but maybe he was told of the consequence straight away. Maybe it was "stop that right now, that is absolutely unacceptable, no story for you tonight" or something along those lines.
Maybe it was completely woolly and ineffectual and he doesn't give two hoots about a story.
I don't know, none of us do, I will never agree that she should have hit him though.
I was smacked occasionally by my dm - and she is the loveliest mum in the world - she just used it to discipline. But i do still feel guilty if i hear a spoon drawer rattling as i think - here comes the wooden spoon! I wasn't at all against giving my dc a light smack on the bottom if they had lost control. It doesn't hurt - it signals to them they have gone too far. They were well behaved on the whole so not a lot of need for it. It works to get the message across and I don't believe for a minute is damaging. But I can understand why others decide not to do it. But I do hate un-disciplined children - and there are a lot of them around.