Husband wants a lie in while we have guests over.

(149 Posts)
Empross76 Fri 04-Jan-13 23:54:02

A friend if mine, her husband and children are popping over tomorrow morning for a cuppa, catch up and to exchange Xmas pressies for the kids. Just for an hour or so.
My husband has told me he will stay in bed and have a lie in while this happens.
He is not very sociable and never instigates social situations, although he is very witty, entertaining and fun in these situations, and has friends.
He just doesn't see why he should lose the chance for a lie in cos of 'my' visitors.
I disagree - I think if a family pops in to see us then we should host as a family. I will be beyond embarrassed having to make up a white lie about him having a headache or something to keep him in bed.
I think he's being selfish and childish. What do you think? AIBU?!!!!

SirBoobAlot Fri 04-Jan-13 23:57:08

YANBU. How rude. ExP did this when we were at his parents for Christmas, a friend had come over to see all of us, a friend of his family, so he has known her way longer than me.

I wouldn't lie. No need for you to excuse him behaving like a child.

And I would also be as loud as possible in the hour before they arrive.

Guessing they're not arriving at like 8am?

Don't lie, just say he's in bed. He didn't invite them so he doesn't have to see them.

Did you say to him that you wanted to invite them over as a couple/family?

Personally I don't make plans for dh without asking.

HollyBerryBush Sat 05-Jan-13 00:05:00

What time are your visitors arriving? 6.30am?

No reason for anyone to be in bed past 7am. (unless they are on shift work) pure idleness.

Empross76 Sat 05-Jan-13 00:07:10

LauriesFairy - didn't ask him. As I said, he's not one for making social plans so I tend to go ahead and sort our social calendar. If it was shyness I'd be understanding, but it's not - it's lazy, rude and anti-social, in my opinion!

ChippingInLovesChristmasLights Sat 05-Jan-13 00:07:26

Holly - what a lot of crap.

ChippingInLovesChristmasLights Sat 05-Jan-13 00:07:44

Tell him he needs to get up, he's being very rude.

FelicityWasSanta Sat 05-Jan-13 00:09:10

OP I would want my DH to be up in your situation.

Holly- thank fuck goodness I don't live with you!

ClippedPhoenix Sat 05-Jan-13 00:09:12

YANBU. I can see why he wants a lie in (I love them) but it's not the right thing to do.

AgentZigzag Sat 05-Jan-13 00:09:20

Your thread reminds me of one last week about a DH who didn't interact with the OPs SIL.

But if they're only over for an hour, what's the problem.

Your DH is not a sociable person, why would you want to force him into being something he's not?

I wouldn't even mention it, and if they asked just say where he is.

Can't you delay your friends? I wouldn't let anything interfere with my lie-in's and I'm incredibly social.

Findingmyself Sat 05-Jan-13 00:11:18

I think it's really rude of him.

Lighthousekeeping Sat 05-Jan-13 00:13:46

What time are they coming at?

Empross76 Sat 05-Jan-13 00:13:59

We both love lie ins and try to alternate as much as possible. He had a lie in today til nearly lunchtime and his parents are over Sat night so will give us both a lie in on Sun morning. So it isn't like this is a rare opportunity for him!

Empross76 Sat 05-Jan-13 00:14:26

10, prob for an hour or so.

HollyBerryBush Sat 05-Jan-13 00:14:41

chipping I'm usually up at 4 .... anything after 6am is bone idlenes in my book .

Empross76 Sat 05-Jan-13 00:14:53

That last message was for Lighthousekeeping!

AgentZigzag Sat 05-Jan-13 00:16:05

He's a big lad and doesn't need anyone else telling him what time he has to get up!

Do you tell him when he should be going to bed too? When to have a dump? What he can eat??

chandellina Sat 05-Jan-13 00:17:32

Can't he just get up at 930 and pull himself together? Not a big sacrifice.

OeufsEnCocotte Sat 05-Jan-13 00:18:30

Posting on MN at gone midnight and up at 4am - are you Margaret Thatcher HollyBerryBush? confused

AgentZigzag Sat 05-Jan-13 00:19:10

Maybe you'd prefer him to be sat there feeling uncomfortable and wanting to be somewhere else when they're round?

You are morally far superior to me getting up at such a ridiculous time 4 am Holly.

My morals are those of an alley cat going on that definition.

tigerdriverII Sat 05-Jan-13 00:20:05

Give him some slack. This the one time of the year when you can lie in and they are your friends and maybe just maybe he isn't very interested in seeing them. And breath! Why don't you just enjoy your pals? If you can't on your own then they aren't really friends and you should tell them not to come. Don't beat up your poor DP, he has a life too

Empross76 Sat 05-Jan-13 00:20:13

Agent ZigZag - I'm big on politeness and doing the right thing. DH won't do things if he doesn't want to, even if it's the right thing to do. This is a general pattern for him, e.g. always tries to get the kids out of having a bath because he doesn't enjoy giving them, or putting excema cream on my DS because he's wriggly. Or getting DS to brush his teeth cos he struggles. IMO they are things that should be done, need to be done, so just do them! And social situations are the same - just man up and do it! That's what I think, anyway!

TalkativeJim Sat 05-Jan-13 00:22:04

Take them up to say hello, they can all squash up on the bed and have a lovely chat grin

Empross76 Sat 05-Jan-13 00:22:33

Agent Zigzag - he won't be uncomfortable, he's brilliant in social situations. He just can't be bothered with them!
Tiger driver - he's had oodles of lie ins over Xmas!

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