To think adults who can't drive are a nuisance

(664 Posts)
Atthewelles Thu 27-Dec-12 14:07:10

Barring situations where an illness or financial circumstances proscribe it aibu to think adults who can't drive are a PITA. People have to constantly go out of their way to collect/drop them off places; arrange plans around the times that suit the non-driver who can't travel solo but has to tag along with you; always be the designated driver who can't have a drink while the non driver happily slurps a third glass of wine etc etc etc

Yes, I have been spending too much time with a non driving sibling over the family Christmas but AIBU to think that a perfectly functioning adult (who is extremely technically minded) in full time paid employment, should bloody well learn to drive.

Cerealqueen Sun 30-Dec-12 20:28:19

Everybody's circumstances are different. I don't drive, live in a big city and walk whenever possible. I use public transport. I shop locally and do the occasional on-line supermarket shop. DP drives and he enjoys it but uses his car for work so even if I wanted to, I'd not have use of a car and we can't afford to run two cars.

I like that one of us is not car bound so the DCs see that walking is a healthy enjoyable option to getting around. I lost my baby weight very quickly for both Dcs and when car bound people comment I remind them that with school pick ups and drops offs, I am walking for at least 40 minutes a day, sometimes twice that. That in itself is a good enough reason for me not to drive, frankly.

cantspel Sun 30-Dec-12 20:33:15

I have just put into google a journey i made twice last season to take my son to his fixture. It is a 50 minute car journey of 35 miles. By public transport it is 2 hours 18 minutes involving train, bus and walking. You would have to add extra for waiting for connections. Doable but the cost and time outlay would far outweight anything else.

amillionyears Sun 30-Dec-12 20:34:48

Offred, do you use trains?

TrampyPants Sun 30-Dec-12 20:42:56

Cantspel, I do understand that. And totally see how its easier, but people have different priorities. I don't want to drive. And don't see any need to. I'm happy to make a 2hr journey (although google is dreadful for transport etc, I can shave time off most journeys by planning myself) if it means not driving. What I object to is people assuming that I'm lying or insisting that cars are necessary. As I said, if every adult drove and had a car, imagine the mess. The chaos and the cost.

crashdoll Sun 30-Dec-12 20:44:58

The stupid thing is that those whingey drivers who label us as 'nuisances' are the ones who would be on here complaining that there were too many cars on the road if we all did drive!

Offred Sun 30-Dec-12 20:50:01

Sometimes, amillionyears, if we need to go long distances, we'll often use the train even when dh is here because it is easy, near to our house, fun, more relaxing for dh, often cheaper than petrol, maintenance and parking, often is coupled with discounted tickets for attractions, the kids like it better, it is an efficient reliable service, it is safer and lower emissions, we definitely use the train more often than we've used buses.

Buses here are very expensive, irregular, don't go anywhere, take ages and are really polluting and I don't feel very safe with children on them. Anywhere the bus goes we can cycle and we can cycle quicker, more cheaply and to more places than on the bus. Relying on the bus is pretty impossible with twin babies in a pram because of the lack of accessible buses/places for prams nevermind having the older ones with you so for a long time it was simply not possible to use the bus.

Most journeys we make by bike. The children are good little cyclists who are developing excellent road sense, where we live is flat with wide roads and some cycling investment. We cycled to my PIL yesterday and cycled the 3 miles home in the dark at past 7pm, something a lot of people consider impossible with a 6 and 7 year old on their own bikes.

I like that we seem to be the only ones who are in the park in the rain/ who have kids who like walking and cycling and will do it etc because people with cars seem to learn not to go out in "bad" weather and don't understand about wearing appropriate clothes and their children have often learned to not walk.

Offred Sun 30-Dec-12 20:52:39

I have one friend who couldn't go out anywhere because her dc "would not walk" and another friend who had to give her older dc a piggy back from the playground in the park to the car, even when heavily pregnant, because he "wouldn't walk" either... Neither family walked anywhere so I don't find it particularly surprising that their children had learned not to walk or that they felt this was ok.

amillionyears Sun 30-Dec-12 20:54:39

You sound as if you are in an area that is good for cycling.
Asked the question because you said you didnt use planes, and if you cycled everywhere, you wouldnt be travelling very long distances on the whole.
Didnt realise that your children are still very young.

autumnlights12 Sun 30-Dec-12 20:57:29

well it wouldn't work for us. Both of mine do extra curricular activities in the evening which would involve 1 hour walk (one way) in the dark. So they couldn't go. If they could only go to clubs and visit friends within easy waking/cycling distance, we'd be very restricted.

Offred Sun 30-Dec-12 21:00:25

We have cycled up to 16 miles a day. Somewhere that is an hour's walk with dc (like our school) is about 20mins/15mins by bike.

TrampyPants Sun 30-Dec-12 21:02:09

One of the reasons we live here is because the school and shop are 5 mins walk away, ds goes to several after school activities, he visits friends, they visit him. The next town is 20min on bus. Just because you don't think it would work for you, doesn't mean its the same for others.

TrampyPants Sun 30-Dec-12 21:03:20

Offred, we don't cycle, ds is dyspraxic and my joints are shit, but we walk everywhere. I love it.

EweBrokeMyManger Sun 30-Dec-12 23:20:32

Even though we have a car we often take the train long distances as it is cheaper booked in advance autumn believe it or not. 30 quid for all of us down to wales.

It makes me laugh at the school gate when mums say they just cant bring themselves to use the buses with the dc as its just too hard.

The answer is that SOME journeys are better to be walked or by public transport and some are better by car. But some people will drive everywhere regardless.

LilyVonSchtupp Mon 31-Dec-12 01:20:48

Offred I want to agree with your comment about drivers who feel they MUST offer lifts to bully people who don't drive. I am hmm about all the drivers in the thread who have said they feel obliged to offer non-drivers transport. IME it is all those Mrs. Doyles who say "You must,you must, you must, you must" have a lift home when you have made your own arrangements and would much prefer a nice journey under your own steam.

I grew up in a country town and my DM couldn't afford a car. At activities there was always some Lady Bountiful who would be OUTRAGED that we used public transport or cycled and would push a lift on us, even if it wasn't convenient or wanted. Before I learned to drive I worked in a rural school and caused such controversy when I walked the 2 or 3 miles into town along the grass verges that I felt obliged to rely on lifts which were inconvenient rather than get half an hour of exercise and rely on myself. I don't particularly want to make tedious chat or sit on a shitty beaded car seat listening to radio two!

Also my MIL,who is great, insists that I could never push a buggy all of ten minutes from the station to her house. I LIKE public transport. I LIKE walking and having a little hit of exercise and fresh air when moving from one place to another. I like clearing my thoughts and stretching my legs. I like the feeling that I am in control and can always get off and walk if I need to. Maybe because I live in London I feel that cars are a tedious and expensive burden that always need something doing to them. I also like watching TV on the go, something you definitely can't do in a car!

I think those drivers are so addicted to cars that it really upsets them to be reminded that you don't need to own a car and you don't need to drive most of the time. They like to flutter around saying "You CAN'T POSSIBLY go by bus!" to justify their own decisions.

I am not being metro centric when I say that. I grew up in buttfuck nowhere in the middle of the welsh marches and we never had a car. Members of my family all commute using public transport from their tiny villages. My good friends live in rural Scotland, can't drive at all and manage fine with cycling, buses or taxis.

I can drive btw. It's a life skill true, but so is the ability to read bus timetables, use a compass, cycle, read a map and call a taxi in any language grin

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