Mumsnet Talk

My mother in law is great too, shes a great cook, lovely sunday lunches and puddings!, shes a great mother and wife, in fact my FIL is great too, I knew when I went to meet them (for sun lunch) with my then boyfriend that they would be great cos the house was full of love. I think she loves me like the daughter she never had. Im lucky to have met my husband and his family.

My MIL is vile, an absolute disgrace. She has 5 grandchildren (3 are my dcs) and sees none of them. Fortunately she is now XMIL.
Shame really as I lost my own DM when i was a teenager and would have loved a good relationship with her.

I adore my MIL, but I'd never tell her that - she is very stuff and nonsense (but in an admirable way) and we'd never say such things to each other!

She shows us she loves us through actions rather than words. She's intelligent, interesting, sarcastic, brutally honest, a big wine lover <euphemistic>, undemanding, calm, rational, sane and is everything I wish my own mother was...

My mother in law is utterly utterly wonderful. This week she came round and started sweeping my kitchen floor on her hands and knees, with me in the background juggling children saying "noooo you don't have to do that" and her "but I want to help!". Then I get her pissed and we sing Christmas carols together while feeding the bemused kids their dinner.
I luffs her.
Thinks- I must tell her that more often. That's the moral of this thread. If she's great, tell her.

unless you're proudnscary

Mine is utterly vile. However, my DH is divine.

Mine started off badly by kicking up a stink about various aspects of our wedding (it wasn't what she was expecting, she was shocked and disappointed). Religion was involved so it got pretty upsetting for everyone. But then she realised how badly she'd behaved and said sorry, and since then, she's really been there for us.

When I was suffering from as yet undiagnosed PND and DH was away working abroad, I ended up sobbing on the phone to her. She turned up on the doorstep next day unannounced with her suitcase having flown over from her country and without a glance at the mess, made me a cup of tea, put a wash on, cleaned the house, took the baby out in the pram for fresh air, made dinner and stayed for 2 weeks doing that until DH got back home.

So to her; it takes character to see that you've been wrong and then say sorry. And she's really made up for it since, as well. I love her!

fryingpan When I told my MIL I'd started this thread, she got all embarassed. I think us DILs could do with telling our MILs that we appreciate them (assuming we do ) - it must be a tricky road for them. For those of us with young/unmarried DCs, we could end up the subject of a "My MIL is so unreasonable" discussion in the MN of the future

Really like my MIL. Although not all plain sailing - like all relationships we have had to work at it.

The thing that always makes me like her more is her genuine kindness to people who need it - she does it with good grace and without talking herself up. I'm hoping that now is her time to be on the receiving end of some of that kindness as she has just been diagnosed with cancer.

My mil is fantastic, very hands on, always there to help. My mum is always fantastic, lives her own life but always there to help if asked.

I think both DH and I lucked out, especially since I moved away from my family to live with DH and am near his family. Would have been hellish if she wasn't so great!

My MIL awful I am sorry to say. But I do know people who have a nice one. I am determined to be a great MIL myself in the future if I get the chance.

Since being on mn I'm far more aware of the MIL effect! My MIL was disinterested and had no impact and I came from a family that quite frankly doesn't do close family ties so it wasn't something I ever really considered. DH grew up in care hence the lack of interest or involvement, my own mother wasn't that bothered and only saw my DC once in a blue moon, they never went to grandmas for tea, she never babysat etc. The only close relative was my DGM who has now passed away.
Now I'm a MIL!! I'm REALLY trying to be a good one! helped by mn of course ;)

I'm one of the lucky ones with an amazing MIL. She has cared for DSIL through a serious mental illness that's lasted ten years (now on the road to recovery, long may it continue). As I type, she and my equally amazing FIL are staying with us sorting out house jobs DH hasn't time to do and helping look after DCs and doing all the shopping, cooking, ironing and washing up whilst I have chemo. But even when I'm well they come and sort us out on a regular basis. MIL has her opinions but keeps them to herself, and awes me with her efficiency and energy. I love both my in-laws to bits.

It didn't start well as DSIL and I didn't get on at all when DH and I first got together. MIL knocked our heads together and told us what silly idiots we were being (in our defence we were both in our teens at the time). DSIL is now very close.

My Mum is also fab in a very different way. I am properly lucky. I hope my daughter and any DIL I might have feel the same way about me.

I am genuinely envious of those of you have have lovely MILs. I feel like my children have been short changed by having the one they have.

oldenglish I agree totally - I meet so many lovely grandma types and i think WHY oh WHY are YOU not my MIL instead of the cantankerous one I have who never wanted her only son to get married in the first place - v v v possessive. Luckily DH is on my side and we are both really trying to get along with her and stay polite but will never be able to be close, just keep things civil and help her out if she needs it (she is elderly so don't want to be unkind).

My Mother in law is amazing, we have always got on to the point of working together when me and my husband first met, she will always help me out, not interfering, we have loads in common and she shows great interest in me, great with the kids.

And she is very in with my family too.

I feel very lucky to have her

I love my MIL, she is an amazing woman. I love my mum too but sadly she is a very damaged woman and can be very toxic to be around, our relationship is very damaged. MIL makes up for a lot of what my own mum/daughter relationship lacks.

I have a wonderful MiL. So does dh, although she is a bit more eccentric. We are both very lucky, and grateful.

I adore my (ex) mother in law! How's that for lucky? Although I don't get on so great with her first-born these days, she's been a rock for me and a brilliant Grandma to boot.

My MIL is lovely. She does so much for all the (huge) family. I admire her so much. I also know she went through Hell with FIL being an emotionally abusive arse. I really love her!

I LOVE my MIL. When having DS, on the gas and air, I was crying about how much I love my in-laws and had to ask if we could stop talking about it as I was getting in a state. Don't think the Midwife understood. She must have a toxic MIL............

We should have a MN MIL medal. I'm nominating my MIL. She's had us living with her for the past four years whilst we get back on our feet, and is always there for any of her family who need her. I almost wish she'd say no sometimes so I feel less like I'm taking advantage.

So glad I'm not the only one.

Mine is lovely. I was with my DH for 8 years before we got married and she used to call me her "oughter-in-law" as in I "ought to be her daughter-in-law".

"Oughter-in-law" - that's lovely! Don't think my MIL felt like that to begin with, but hopefully she does now (although I am her DIL proper, so she doesn't have much choice!)