Mumsnet Talk

from us - he has a nexus 10 but its a combined xmas/birthday pressie so he has decided to have it on xmas day.

we have no family. not a one on either side. so im usually very thankful that my friends buy for him. Ive always said they dont need to, and he is now 21 so really it should stop.

really it needs to stop - my friends gave him:
friend 1. a xmas bag which contained various items of smart price/value food - including a smart price pot noodle. a fucking value pot noodle. please - if you cant afford a real pot noodle dont fucking bother....and i had told her that i buy his food.
friend 2. a matalan body warmer. too small and dog turd colour. now ive never quite seen the point of body warmers anyway - where are the sleeves???? what good is a coat with no sleeves anyway? no tags in so suspect it may not be new....and it doesnt even fit me or id have nicked it for horse riding.
friend 3. something useful. a fiver. god bless her.

so. IABU for being an ungrateful cow probably. but really - i find some of this slightly insulting.....id rather they didnt bother tbh than put this little thought into it.
the fiver was very gratefully received - he is a student.
the value pot noodle im at. irrationally so. i buy their kids nice things - wooden stamp sets, hmv vouchers, not fucking value pot noodles.....my poor boy. luckily he is gracious and accepting. he has AS and is lovely. unlike me. im not lovely. im pissed off.

i need more

I guess the one who gave food was probably thinking about 'student food' and assumed it'd be welcomed because that's what he eats normally (not that I'd be especially thrilled either).

It is a bit shit if you buy their kids nice things and they can't be bothered. I'd find it hard not to make a snide comment, I think.

Vic, I feel sad for your ds too

That all sounds a bit shit

I would have given him a big 21st card and 20 quid (and I am skint)

im too sodding polite. and ive bought her kids already or id be tempted to get down to poundland....

if its the thought that counts then thats even worse - wheres the thought in a value pot noodle?

he eats well for a student because i buy his shopping which i had said repreatedly when she originally mentioned she was thinking of this for his present.....

I think a 21st birthday is special, tbh

smart price pot noodle, ouch! why not buy ermm I don't know, a small box of chocolate instead? at least it would be a treat instead of something to endure.

oh and

they have body warrmers so that you can put an extra layer on and still manage to have full use of your arms... unlike the michelin man here who struggled last friday reach things in the shop... until last friday I could n't underrstand why they wwere made either...

yep im an ungrateful cow. probably. but they earn more than i do, their parents have just given them 100k for a house deposit, completely unrelated and i dont actually expect anything - but yes i find a value pot noodle from one person and a second hand body warmer from another a wee bit insulting.

why wrap up a value pot noodle? why?? how disappointing is it to open a value pot noodle on your 21st?

he is actually being very sweet about it. its me thats pissed off

if I was doing "ironic student gift" I would do a hamper packed with pot noodles, beer, oven chips, chocolate and a weeks bus pass

or a similar variation

some thought is required, and some humour...sounds like your pot noodle friend had an idea but then failed at the effort part

i have a very tight budget for presents but there are a lot better things to spend money on... than something that is not needed and not very nice at all. presents should be treat, even if they are small treats that do not cost a lot.

did he get to come home or did your miserable h persuade him to stay...

This is why I only buy for family children. Made it clear when ds was born for my friends not to buy for him and vice versa.

Yep, agree with that blackeyed.

The same money would surely have got a bottle of plonk or some cheapie chocolate and most students would surely welcome those.

oh ophelias post got deleted.....i didnt mind being told i was an ungateful cow tbh.....i probably am.

tis tough tits. i cant be grateful for a smart price pot noodle. id have had trouble with a real pot noodle.
but a phoney pot noodle is even worse. <shrugs>

ophelia's post seemed rather out of character, tbh

It's nice of people to buy anything for a friends 'child' by the time they get to adulthood. You are being very silly.

isn't "21" special any more though ?

I buy a little something for the 21st (or give money) and then it stops for me

blackeyed he came home - very last minute decision and he got the train home yesterday and is going back at 7.15 in the morning.....but at least i got to see him and take him for a meal.

i just feel so sorry for him and he never ever complains - he is a real sweetie. he never expects anything - and nor do i tbh - i buy for their kids and they buy for mine but i swear i would be embarrassed to buy an everyday value pot sodding noodle no matter how hard up i was. which they arent

I would think it's unusual to buy stuff for a friend's adult children - but then if you habitually buy presents for each others' children it seems really shite not to bother in this situation.

i wonder really how they would feel if i bought their children such shit.....there is no dressing this up. its shit. i would honestly rather they didnt bother because seeing his eyes light up at a gift bag and then trying to look grateful for some everyday value pasta and a pot noodle is quite difficult.

it was his 21st.

im going to tell them all to stop now, for both my children.

Sod them, it seems like you've done a really good job raising a decent,polite young man. I don't blame you for getting the hump, I'd be livid.

i will buy for theirs until they reach 21. just as they have done for mine, but i am going to ask them to stop buying for my younger one too.

they buy for mine because i have always bought for theirs. i would honestly rather they didnt.

i think im going to plead poverty (which is true) next year at xmas and say im doing birthdays only.

Oh bless him that is sad.

Can you surprise him with something small before the xmas present? Even a voucher for clothes or music?

They sound a bit thick, or tight.

Who wants to unwrap a Potnoodle on their 21st. Or ever? Perhaps yes a joke that didn't work, then.

i bought him some trainers, and got him a ton of chocolate. he truly expects nothing from anyone else.

and i dont expect anyone else to get anything for him. ive said countless times now that they dont need to buy for him, and now he has reached 21 they have all said it will stop anyway, which im really glad about. i hate feeling so, ungrateful, but this really has touched a nerve.