ZOMBIE THREAD ALERT: This thread hasn't been posted on for a while.
...to start moaning mn career mums - the sequel..(117 Posts)
... because the old one filled up before I could say this to HoneyDragon:
HoneyDragon - despite the home-made shepherds pie evidence to the contrary, I am a bloddy neglectful parent too. I haven't immaced my children or dyed them blue, but I did let ds1 eat tortilla chips out of the bin, because it had stopped him tantrumming, and I didn't want him to start again. Oh, and he got stuck in the catflap once, and I didn't realise straight away.
So you're saying it only counts as smacking their heads on the door frame if there's blood and/or bruising? Phew. In that case I never bumped any of my babies' heads on any door frames.
I suppose on that basis DS4 never did a back-flip off my arm and plunged head first onto the floor in AllSports either But you would have thought from all those customers' judgy faces that he had.
I feel like this is my spiritual home!
Out shopping with a very whingey DD who likes to drag her feet and walk 10 paces behind me. She had been moaning and whingeing all morning and I was fit to burst, so when I heard 'Muuuuum...' I snapped 'What now!?' in a 'I am about to combust with rage' voice, and the poor little girl walking with her mum behind me looked like the child catcher had come to life and had sniffed her out.... I have never grovelled to a stranger so much in my life [embarrassed]
Absolutley Annie, no harm no foul.
<<Puts that forward as a contender for one of the mantras of the BMC>>
Oh, can I join? Being the terrible WOHM that I am, DH and I ended up being at Ikea with DD (almost 2) on a busy Saturday morning.
DD, while toddling along, fell over onto the concrete in the warehouse area and started howling. In a hurry and trying to get out of the way of the hoards of other customers, I just scooped her up, hurried after DH and made generic consoling noises along with "Oh you'll be fine..."
After seeing several expressions from other customers as I walked past them, and suddenly noticing my back was feeling rather warm, I reassessed the situation and belatedly discovered DD nose was bleeding profusely over both of us and leaving a nice trail along the floor.
I once stupidly left DD aged about 3 unattended while I was on the phone.
She was very quiet, the conversation was interesting, all good thought I.
Till I began to get itchy about the length of the silence and went to look for DD
She was in the bathroom shaving her legs with her fathers razor.
After I'd had a shrieking breakdown I examined poor neglected DD to ascertain the level of razorage on her legs.
They were shaved perfectly, no cuts, no stubble, she could have been an ad for pretty polly.
We still laugh about that one round these parts
Do I win? i once tipped DS aged 18 months upside down almost out of his pram between the gap between train and platform.
(In my defence, I had not noticed he had gotten one arm out of the buckle, and I had been pushed hard from behind by an impatient asshole who was sick of me trying to manouvre said pram out off the train.
DS was 100% fine. I was in hysterics and a nice lady paid for me to get a taxi home.)
I left DD2 in the back of a taxi in Lanzarote, the driver dropped us at the villa we all got out took bags in started looking around then DH and I looked at each other and said simultaneously "did you get DD2 out of the taxi" we both raced out of the door and he had driven off but stopped a few doors up to talk to someone, he hadn't even realised he still had a baby in the back either.
I stupidly left DS unattended on a nappy channging table, he was sat on it with his legs dangling over the edge. Of course he tumbled forward, face first onto a concrete floor, blood everywhere - the poor woman breastfeeding her newborn in the corner of the baby room was more hysterical than I was
I fell over while carrying my son through Didcot station to see Thomas the Tank Engine, I was wearing high heels at the time. I've also managed to tip my son out of his pushchair by misjudging the curb while talking on my mobile, I was wearing trainers at the time.
KatieScarlett has to win a prize for that one
Neriberi - are you Peaches Geldof?
egusta - that one's making me feel sick. Thank heavens for nice ladies eh?
It was horrendous. The asshole who pushed me (man in a suit, clearly rushing to get somewhere important) never even stopped. I had DS hanging half out, I had me with one leg down between the gap and my knee on the platform. Makes me shake even thinking about it. Have never taken him on a train since.
Egusta that's horrible what a twat. I like the woman who paid for your cab.
I am choosing to believe that no bruise means I didn't bang my two week old DD's head into a doorframe tripping over a bloody bouncy chair. Cue hysterics (from me) and panicked call to NHS direct. Last month when she tipped off the sofa (DH's fault) I was rather more sanguine figuring if DH cried an then cheered up she was ok.
slightly scared by unknown depressed head fracture
Oh, we called NHS direct when our first DC was about 4 days old, and DH pulled the t-shirt down over his tummy and his stub of belly button popped off. I totally lost it and thought DS would bleed to death.
Before I had my dc I was at a friends upstairs flat and the steps down were outside. She was argueing with her eldest dd so I helped by getting dd2 in her pram, pushing it to the top of the stairs then, as I turned round to lock the door, I knocked the pram down the concrete steps with my arse
The pram did two full rolls before landing right way up, her dd was screaming but didnt have a mark on her. I never got asked to babysit again
egusta , that sounds horrible. That nice lady must have restored your belief in the kindness of human nature after being knocked down by Mr Important.
Well, re heads/bleeding - as of last night I have a story to contibute:
Long day at the office, I arrived home at the same time as Ds1 and 2 coming from their sports club. Some happy fooling around in the kitchen, DS2 (8) teased me about something, I still had my ginormous down jacket in my hand and made to put its hood over his head.
He took evasive action and ducked.
Dear Reader, he smacked his poor forehead hard against the corner of the kitchen worktop .
The noise on impact.
The noise from wailing.
Poor nanny was still present and stood with her mouth open - she'd had a 12 hours day (as had I) and could not believe her eyes.
Pressure applied with dirty dishcloth, coldpack and then damage assessed: 1/2 cm cut, nice and clean, but deep.
Hey ho, couple of steri-strips later, he was right as rain and all day today has been delighting people with the story of how he 'annoyed mummy and she whacked my head off the kitchen worktop'.
I didn't touch him, honest, guv' (I cannot deny that I am quite glad to have a witness to events, though...) Dead proud he is of his war wound, too.
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