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Aibu to think it's a bit rubbish to use "9.30 is so early!" As an excuse / complaint?

(185 Posts)
Cathycomehome Sat 17-Nov-12 21:21:15

Ds2 is to be Christened on Sunday. Some people who are distant, duty invites like cousins, have said it's too early as they are far away, and that's fine. But loads of other people, who are very local have said "9.30?!?! Seriously?? Well we'll try...." It's pissing me off.

littlemisspoppy Wed 21-Nov-12 15:29:27

I dont think it's that early, and even if I did its a one off occasion so it wouldn't matter to me.

I start work at 8.30 every Sunday though so I guess I don't think the same as everyone else?

Jins Wed 21-Nov-12 15:16:40

Think I may have committed the cardinal offence of suggesting I join a Christening party afterwards...

I don't do Christenings. I recognise that they are important for the parents and that they want friends and family there but it's not something I want to watch. However I have assumed in the past that if they asked me then they wanted me to be there so I've made excuses to the ones who would be hurt by my views on churchy things and been honest to others who wouldn't be bothered and suggested I join them afterwards. I've always told them not to cater for me but nobody ever does anyway - it's always a sea of gluten based carbohydrate.

So apologies if there's anyone on this thread that I've done this to smile

ShirleyB25 Wed 21-Nov-12 15:04:35

Hi - I guess I'm alone here, but I don't that's early. For a Sunday. Or any day really. Our kids are up at 7am or before 7 days a week. No worries.

Hope your friend's aren't as lazy as some of the folk here!

GrendelsMum Mon 19-Nov-12 20:36:03

p.s. Just knew you had a shared vicar in a rural parish as soon as you said 9.30am - we are the 11am village and I can't decide whether we have it good or bad.

GrendelsMum Mon 19-Nov-12 20:35:20

I suspect it would probably be seen as ruder to say that it was too early to join a friend, than to say that you didn't think you could join in the church service as you were an atheist. One suggest that the service is unimportant to you, one accepts that it is important to the people involved and therefore that you want to take it as seriously as they do.

kerala Mon 19-Nov-12 20:17:05

I can see why they complained - but its rude to do it to your face. Some conversations should be kept within the four walls of your house grin

Cathycomehome Mon 19-Nov-12 20:14:46

That's a nice idea, Horatia makes labels saying "potatoes for service attendees only" and "the mould sandwiches are for you lazy arses" grin

Bunbaker Mon 19-Nov-12 20:10:50

Excellent post Liege. I agree with you. It is about supporting your friends. I would feel pretty let down and disappointed because someone I thought of as a real friend couldn't be arsed to get out of bed a little earlier than usual for just one day.

I don't think I have any friends like that thank goodness.

Cathy, you know very well the "party only" gang will be elbowing the vicar out of the way of the ham!

Last baptism I went to had a looovely cold buffet plus warm new potatoes (over a spirit burner like at a Chinese restaurant). Fabulous addition.

McChristmasPants2012 Mon 19-Nov-12 20:04:57

I would go and would grumble about the time.

A christening isn't an excuss for a booze up

Cathycomehome Mon 19-Nov-12 19:56:58

We haven't had it yet, it's Sunday coming, sorry for confusion. Well, I'm glad not everyone thinks I'm unreasonable. I've ordered catering for the definite yeses, let's hope they scoff the lot quickly before the "just for nibbles" brigade arrive! wink

LiegeAndLief Mon 19-Nov-12 19:51:42

This isn't about whether 9:30 on a Sunday morning is too early or not (although I am a little astounded at the people who think it would be physically impossible to get out of the house in time). This is about whether it is extraordinarily rude to say "hmm, well, this is so unimportant to me that I might turn up if I can be bothered on the day". Obviously it is fine to think that, but I can't believe people who are actually your friends were rude enough to say it!

You say yes and turn up, or if you really can't face it you say no.

Incidently I am an aetheist and I have been to weddings, christenings and funerals in churches because they were important to my close friends, and so important to me. I think you really can take the religion out of it and just go to support people you love. In the same way that I would be very happy to go to a Muslim or Hindu or Satanist or anything else ceremony under similar circumstances.

Bunbaker Mon 19-Nov-12 19:31:23

"Yabu op. I don't go to christenings that are that early! I work all bloody week no way I am getting up early on one of my precious days off to see something I see pointless happening2

I'm glad I don't have selfish entitled friends like you Charlie

JenaiMathis Mon 19-Nov-12 14:56:35

"oh you can come along and not mean it if you want...." - really?!?..

Yes, you can. A christening is about more than the religious thing, and if it means something to friends or family, then it's perfectly possible to put your atheism to one side for an hour or so. I've done it often enough.

HazelnutinCaramel Mon 19-Nov-12 14:26:45

YANBU - they are rude and lazy bastards with no manners. Tell them straight - only people who will attend the church can come to the nibbles.

ByTheWay1 Mon 19-Nov-12 14:15:38

Perhaps people who are saying it is too early are atheists who do not want to go to a church and partake in a church service when they do not believe in it.

I have refused to go to a couple of Christenings because I don't believe and if they had been early, I might have used that excuse instead of having to state my beliefs so plainly...(followed on BOTH occasions by - "oh you can come along and not mean it if you want...." - really?!?...)

EugenesAxe Mon 19-Nov-12 14:05:45

Cathy - wondering if we attend the same church... mine is the same and we got DD baptised at 9.30 a little while ago. I shall just say East Surrey.

A lot of our friends made it, many from London. It is quite early for people travelling miles, but considering it's a one-off not really too bad for locals, as you say.

edam Mon 19-Nov-12 14:02:00

Oh that is FAR too early for me on a Sunday but you didn't invite me so that doesn't matter. grin As people have said, it's a one-off special event so if I were invited, I'd say 'thank you very much' and just grumble inwardly about having to rush around the one morning of the week where we can usually take it easy.

Hope it went well!

lurkingaround Mon 19-Nov-12 12:21:49

I think YANBU, I would be exactly like Selim! In my head I would say feck it, and what will I wear, but I'd say thank you, see you there. This is a big day for you and it's one morning, FGS. I'm not a church goer, but it's plain rude to refuse an invitation on the grounds that it's too early.

Popumpkin Mon 19-Nov-12 12:21:04

grin at everyone who thinks 9.30am is early for a Christening. The city where I live has a famous cathedral which has a tradition of holding a Baptism at 5am on Easter Sunday morning shock. I kid you not. I don't quite remember how the tradition started & was mildly amused at the thought of people getting up that early on Easter Sunday - until it was my god-daughter being baptised & I had to blooming well go!

The same friend is due to give birth to DC5 around Christmas time & has asked me to be godmother again. I'd be thankful for a 9.30am service! grin

I suppose it depends on what matters to you. I'd value going to a christening more than going shopping or whatever. and its a one off. Do people really value their lie ins so much? Do people with children really get them?

specialsubject Mon 19-Nov-12 12:14:33

people may treasure their weekly lie in, and to watch a baby getting splashed and yelling is not enough of a reason to lose it. However it would be more tactful to tell you that they can't make it because they are doing something else that day.

PuffPants Mon 19-Nov-12 12:00:26

Yes it is early and if I was invited I would probably think "cripes that's early" but I would still go. I would just plan ahead and be organised.

It's not ideal but it's do-able - I mean, anything's do-able I'd you really want to do it surely?

Very rude to use the early start as a reason not to go.

poopnscoop Mon 19-Nov-12 11:49:34

A one off for a christening?? Poor excuse. 8am is early.. 9:30 isn't... and if they really wanted to be there, they would be. Doesn't seem like they do. Poor form sad

financialwizard Mon 19-Nov-12 11:39:13

I don't think it is early for a christening at all. 0930hrs on a Sunday is about 3.5 hours after we are up anyway though.

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