WIU to knock this kid off his bike with my car?

(148 Posts)
Unacceptable Sat 17-Nov-12 09:08:05

Ok first of all, I didn't. But I wanted to. I really, really wanted to and I'm horrified at how close I came to actually doing it.
I'm shocked at myself and think maybe I have issues and this was not a normal, reasonable or healthy thought.

Sorry but to give you the full facts this may be a bit long.

A few months ago I was driving home, running a little late for school pick up. I hate to park on the school road so I always park a few minutes walk away. To get to the car park you need to drive down a very long and narrow road, it only allows for one car to get through and so you often have to pull into a gap to let oncoming vehicles past.

As I turned the corner to go down this road there was a lad on a bike, riding no handed very, very slowly while texting. I should point out that while 2 cars cannot comfortably drive alongside past each other there is enough room to overtake a bicycle (it leads to a popular cycle route so this is very common). I hung back admittedly feeling a bit impatient and muttering to myself about lack of respect, upstart thinking he was king of the road but certain that he'd send his message or whatever before moving to let me overtake him.

He didn't so halfway down the road with an eye on the time I beeped my horn. He moved over.
Well I thought he was moving over to let me past.
He wasn't he was moving slightly over but not enough that I could safely pass him.
He stopped at the front of my car, spat on windscreen then came to side and used (I think) his phone to violently bang against my passenger window.
As he was banging his bike fell away from him and I sped off.
It terrified me. The look in his eyes was one of pure hatred and rage-I'm certain that if I hadn't been behind a glass window he'd have hurt me. I had my baby in the back seat on the passenger side and had visions of glass shattering over him. It really shook me up. I cried when a mum on the playground asked if I was ok.

I've seen this lad a few times since. He's old enough to have left school, I'd guess 17.

Last night when returning home I saw him on the pavement, on his bike. Again he was riding none handed and on his phone.

I was alongside and knew that we would arrive at the bottom of my road at the same time.

I knew he wouldn't check the traffic.

I knew that I could turn into the road and 'accidently' knock him off his bike.

He was wearing all black clothing, no lights on bike and it was very dark.

I even locked my car doors in anticipation of him jumping up from road to attack me.

As it was I hit my brakes as he glided past in front of my car without so much of a headturn to see the vehicle that was a second away from hitting him.

I'm disgusted to say I'm disappointed that I stopped. I've replayed the scenario over and over all night and kick myself for not hitting him! I have a son almost his age fgs! How can I have even considered this? Have come so close to doing it? Be annoyed at myself for having not done it?

Can any of you say you'd have behaved the same way?

ShotgunNotDoingThePans Sat 17-Nov-12 12:52:18

In fact, apart from the obvious twattiness of riding with no hands and texting, the only 'danger' he was causing you and your baby was slowing you down.
Can't see where the 'primal reaponse' comes into it.

HecatePropylaea Sat 17-Nov-12 12:52:31

Yes. if you feel that intrusive thoughts are becomming obsessive, then you should get help.

If you want to PM me, then I'll tell you about my problem with intrusive thoughts, but I'm simply not willing to lay myself open to some of what you've suffered by detailing my mhp on this thread. Selfish, I know blush

Unacceptable Sat 17-Nov-12 12:53:36

Really shotgun? I suppose I could have wound down my window and shouted 'excuse me please young man, you appear to be riding in the dead centre of a fairly long road meaning that no other road users are able to share this space with you. Would you mind moving over please' and I guess at the point he would have allowed me to pass.

I don't think I own the fucking road.

I suppose you would have slowly trailed behind him all the way to the end of the road and possibly much further if he decided not to be considerate to you or any other road user?

Unacceptable Sat 17-Nov-12 12:55:47

oh and I consider that the lad Was causing danger. He was in the centre of a road, not in control of his bike and not actually looking ahead

WrathdePan Sat 17-Nov-12 12:57:32

Unacceptable - i've read most of the thread and am a bit confused as to what reaction we were expecting. Flamed? Supported? Judged?

Whatever happened on the road, you were the mature, responsible grown-up in this situation, but it seems behaved like a competitive, impatient child and are indulging yourself now with 'new of your thoughts' after the event.

ShotgunNotDoingThePans Sat 17-Nov-12 12:57:33

Er yes I would, actually. I might have been swearing the whole time and extremely irate that he was acting like a twat - but, s I said, the horn is not a weapon and can cause a catastrophic accident for a cyclist or pedestrian.
And why would I wind sown my window and say anything to someone who clearly acts outside the boundaries of reasonable behaviour?
Oh wait - I'd be in a car, so that means I could act all hard and brave.

ShotgunNotDoingThePans Sat 17-Nov-12 12:59:28

Again, use of the horn.

CaptainBarnaclesDaddyman Sat 17-Nov-12 13:08:04

the AA guide to sharing the road with cyclists

Pay attention to
"Ride assertively, away from the gutter. If the road is too narrow for vehicles to pass you safely, it may be better to ride in the middle of the lane to prevent dangerous overtaking."

"Cyclists have the same rights on the road and as a driver you should remember that you are sharing the road with cyclists."

WrathdePan Sat 17-Nov-12 13:12:06

Very useful Daddyman Defensive/assertive riding saves lives. Ours.

Kalisi Sat 17-Nov-12 13:12:48

There is so much wrong with the defensive reactions on here I honestly don't know where to start! I think there are some very deep rooted personal issues with drivers on this thread.

ShotgunNotDoingThePans Sat 17-Nov-12 13:13:23

Driving slowly behind him until you got to the end of the road or he moved over would have made you frustrated and possibly feeling like you'd been made an arse by this idiot, but if you hadn't honked him you would never have seen him turn nasty and spit and bash on your windscreen.
He was the twat and you were the aggressor.

Alisvolatpropiis Sat 17-Nov-12 13:14:26

I kind of know what you mean OP - if you mean your suddenly aware that you were in a position of power in the car vs him on his bike.

I am always aware of that. I particularly keep it in mind when anywhere near arsehole cyclists who have zero road sense. Because no matter how much they annoy me/endanger themselves and others is never worth actually hitting them. They could easily die. Not worth it.

Doesn't stop me thinking "have you got a death wish you utter utter fuckwit" though.

whois Sat 17-Nov-12 13:16:05

He was a total fucking dick. If one wishes to text then it's not U to stop at the side to do so. If a car was going down a road at 2mph people would be beeping all over the place.

You were not U to want to teach him a lesson.

But you would have been U to have actually done it!

Chubfuddler Sat 17-Nov-12 13:17:19

Bearing in mind there is a significant chance the op has mental health problems (which she is brave enough to admit to) I think calling her unhinged etc is really shit.

Hecate speaks much sense as usual.

ShotgunNotDoingThePans Sat 17-Nov-12 13:17:57

No issues with drivers per se here - I can barely ride a bike and have never ben on one on the public highway ever since I ran into a stationary car when trying to practice cycling at the age of 24. Kept cracking my ankles on these bolts sticking out by the pedals as well.
I don't think my riding in a heavily-armoured petrol-powered vehicle gives me extra road-using rights over slower, more vulnerable road users, though - do you?

Kalisi Sat 17-Nov-12 13:23:04

Not at all, but that has already been explained in a previous post so I will not bother repeating myself

Chubfuddler Sat 17-Nov-12 13:23:19

This is so not a thread about cyclists v motorists. If you want to start another one of those because MN needs more of those a fucking hole in the head off you toddle.
This thread is about someone frightened by her extreme reaction to an everyday situation. Have some compassion or piss off.

prettybird Sat 17-Nov-12 13:23:28

It's not unreasonable for the OP to have beeped him - he was clearly unaware of the traffic around him and she was therefore letting him know she was there. He was breaking the law by cycling with no hands and texting - the Highway Code requires you to be in control of your "vehicle" - and he clearly was not.

His reaction was totally uncalled for and unreasonable.

However, the OP is unreasonable in still wanting to have knocked him over. As my former close (stair) cleaner used to say, "Let it go !!"

WorraLiberty Sat 17-Nov-12 13:24:07

Good lord what a strange thread.

He obviously shouldn't have spat and banged on your window

But to replay the scenario over and over all night and kick yourself for not hitting him with your car when you had the chance...

Well that's beyond fucked up.

Let's hope you don't actually manage to do it accidentally now you've started this thread.

Unacceptable Sat 17-Nov-12 13:25:03

I'm not sure you can ever expect any particular reaction on AIBU Wrathdepan I posted because I was shocked that I'd even come close to doing anything so wretched to another human being, a child at that.

I posted to see if anyone else could shed light on why I would contemplate doing something so wicked and why, although I didn't do anything, my strongest feeling afterwards was not 'thank God I saw sense and braked before I hurt this boy' (though I do feel like that more and more after discussing it, thinking about it and hearing other opinions) but more 'I could have hit that lad...I wish I had'

Thank you to Hecate for your understanding and intelligent link. Not selfish in the slightest to not want to open yourself up to AIBU crowd.

Thanks also for the AA link though the kid has not an ounce of respect for anyone, of that I'm certain. He wasn't riding in centre of road for his own safety. One day HE will hurt somebody but I will not not . In future I will not use my horn. The only other time I have ever used my horn was to hurry my DH or DC up when sat on drive waiting forever for them to get in car

schobe Sat 17-Nov-12 13:32:27

Totally agree with Hecate as usual. A lot of people have these kinds of intrusive thoughts.

Sometimes they are fixated on some kind of warped sense of 'just desserts' and there is a lot of displaced anger from incidents in which we have felt wronged or that people are 'getting away' with terrible behaviour.

Sometimes they are seemingly random, eg your boss is talking away and you imagine suddenly licking their face. You can't stop thinking about it, what would that be like, what would happen, what would s/he say or do? It can be very bizarre.

It's obsessive cognitive behaviour. Depends how much it affects your life in general as to whether you may need to get some sort of therapy to investigate it. But try not to feel so much shame and self-loathing. At least you are being honest and, most importantly, did NOT act on the thoughts.

ShotgunNotDoingThePans Sat 17-Nov-12 13:36:36

Glad you've seen the light about the horn, op - but erm using it to toot at your family is also illegal grin!

MrsHoarder Sat 17-Nov-12 13:37:29

YABVU. And there is no such thing as a safe tap on a cyclist: a sideways knock can cause a head injury. And yes, he was in the safe and legal place. You were in the wrong the first time you "beeped" him and should give way to individuals crossing a side road so would in in the wrong if you hit him then.

Yes he overreacted, but someone with a deadly weapon was from his perspective threatening him. A car driver "beeping" is often followed by an unsafe overtake if you don't immediately jump off the road for them.

And be bloody glad that he is on a bike and will thus struggle to hurt another person. You are in a car.

You may have wanted someone to shed light, but you could have put it in chat or somewhere and asked "Why did I want to kill someone?" not "WIU to kill someone?" You didn't even say it was only a thought. Of course cyclists are going to react strongly to that.

Fakebook Sat 17-Nov-12 13:40:31

Without reading the other replies, OFCOURSE YABU! Don't take the law into your own hands, that's what the police are for. You silly woman.

Unacceptable Sat 17-Nov-12 13:42:40

Fair point mrsHoarder
I didn't think that clearly when posting though, it all just came tumbling out

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