to wonder if the concept of a 'yummy mummy' is a feminist issue, a class issue or just my issue

(135 Posts)
IveNoIntentionOfMakingCupcakes Sat 13-Oct-12 20:24:51

Yesterday, I met a father who made a comment about me being a 'yummy mummy'. At the time I smiled, was slightly embarrassed and also slightly irritated but I wasn't all that sure why?

Maybe it was just because he was a smarmy git but maybe it was something more. I have only ever heard the term used to imply that a woman is attractive and/or that a woman is middle class. It seems to me that the whole concept of 'yummy mummies' implies that there is also a group that are not 'yummy' and that's quite insulting really. AIBU?

AnnaLiza Sat 13-Oct-12 20:26:22

YANBU
I hate the expression too and people who use it!

Sparklingbrook Sat 13-Oct-12 20:27:33

I think yummy mummy is a bit of an inflammatory term. It implies that most women aren't and that it is a rarity to have children and still look after yourself and look nice and be organised.

IneedAsockamnesty Sat 13-Oct-12 20:28:56

its possible you may be over thinking it, was he trying to chat you up or was it just genral chat?

AgentZigzag Sat 13-Oct-12 20:29:17

Are you attractive and middle class?

He could have been making a kack handed compliment.

Sparklingbrook Sat 13-Oct-12 20:30:35

I didn't think it had anything to do with class. confused

quesadilla Sat 13-Oct-12 20:31:35

Its awful but I've never heard anyone use it without irony... It tends to be used by mummies not feeling all that yummy about the ones they come into contact with who have the time/money to work on their saggy abs/get their bikini lines done/get pedicures/learn shiatsu. This guy is clearly a lech though and will clearly use any means necessary to get into your pants so you can discount everything he says... No-one uses the phrase with a straight face, certainly not about themself.

WorraLiberty Sat 13-Oct-12 20:31:58

I've never heard it in a 'class' context.

Round here it means an attractive Mother.

marriedinwhite Sat 13-Oct-12 20:32:20

I don't think it's meant as a nasty or disrespectful term. It's a term that my young children days preceded but I don't think I'd have found it offensive to be called a yummy mummy. Would have preferred to be a yummy mummy than a slummy mummy. Smacks of Nigella Lawson and I would love to be that sexy to be honest.

SirBoobAlot Sat 13-Oct-12 20:33:28

I don't think its a class thing. It irritates the shit out of me though.

WorraLiberty Sat 13-Oct-12 20:34:01

"This guy is clearly a lech though and will clearly use any means necessary to get into your pants so you can discount everything he says"

Blimey, you got all that from one phrase? shock

TwickOrTweasels Sat 13-Oct-12 20:34:34

It is meant as a compliment but it does imply that to be attractive AND a mother is unusual.

AgentZigzag Sat 13-Oct-12 20:35:18

Wasn't there a poster called scummymummy?

I'd rather be scummy than slummy.

Or yummy come to think of it.

TwickOrTweasels Sat 13-Oct-12 20:35:26

I'm a Spammy Mammy grin

WorraLiberty Sat 13-Oct-12 20:38:50

I just hate the word 'Mummy' when used by one adult to another adult (including adult offspring).

And the word 'Yummy' or 'Yum' has always grated on me for some reason.

This phrase is not for me, can anyone tell? grin

Peevish Sat 13-Oct-12 20:38:57

He may well have intended it as a compliment, and I do think people (women as well as men) use the term really loosely now, when from what I remember it started off as a slightly sloppy media shorthand for highly-groomed celebrity mothers who got back into their red carpet frocks within two minutes of giving birth. But I sometimes hear women talking jokingly about being a yummy mummy because they're out having coffee during the day or are wearing matching socks.

It is an irritating term though, like MILF. The implication seems to be that it refers to the tiny minority of women considered to retain their fuckability after having children.

To which I sigh and roll my eyes.

McHappyPants2012 Sat 13-Oct-12 20:39:04

Yummy mummy is a lot better than a MILF

Yama Sat 13-Oct-12 20:39:46

To me it is definitely about class. It is also about the ability to take care of appearance.

Yes, a class issue. Yes, a feminist issue.

I spend a lot of time thinking about both the plight of women and the plight of the poor.

My dh would never use the phrase. Because he is non ignorant.

So YANBU.

Yama Sat 13-Oct-12 20:40:02

not ignorant

AgentZigzag Sat 13-Oct-12 20:40:54

grin at spammy mammy.

Yum mum has jam making and coffee morning associations in my head, whereas MILF involve fucking.

Opposite ends of the spectrum.

achillea Sat 13-Oct-12 20:45:39

I used to veer between slummy and scummy, these days it's clammy mammy.

But on an semiotic level (!) I would say that this term has evolved because being a mother signified a certain persona. If the new term was scummy mummy the signifier of 'mother' would be beautiful attractive, in demand. I can only guess that the fact that the term is yummy mummy indicates that 'mother' always signified 'a bit dowdy and under par'.

However the term is not sexist as it is a term that may be used by both men and women. On the other hand it is a term that can only ever apply to women, so it is a feminist issue - i.e. our problem.

WorraLiberty Sat 13-Oct-12 20:48:08

It's not a class thing at all here

It's just used to distinguish the dressed up/made-up mothers from those who don't bother much.

Raspberryandorangesorbet Sat 13-Oct-12 20:49:10

I am an exhausted mummy

<misses point of thread >

TheLightPassenger Sat 13-Oct-12 21:04:48

I think it is a class issue tbh, as I always feel that being reasonably well off is kind of implicit as part of the yummy mummy thing.

ClippedPhoenix Sat 13-Oct-12 21:07:40

I've been called it and was rather flattered to be honest grin and I'm working class.

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