To be hurt for being publicly judged by my own brother for going away without my DC (fb related, sorry)

(117 Posts)
MoomieAndFreddie Fri 05-Oct-12 17:32:53

DH and I are going away for a few days after Xmas to New York. This will probably be the last time we go away minus DC as we are TTC-ing after Xmas. and this was going to be our present to eachother and a last big holiday if you like, before, if we are lucky enough, DC3 comes along. our DC are 3 and 6 and are staying with my DPs in the Cotswolds, my DPs are more than happy to have them, so we will be spending the run up to xmas with the DC and also xmas eve, xmas day and some of boxing day.

Anyway, my brother has posted all over Facebook how "disgusting" and "selfish" we are "leaving the kids at christmas" and how he "can't believe mum and dad have agreed to it" and he thinks we should take them with us.
BTW, the DC have had 2 holidays already this year, this summer, we took them to Lanzarote and Wales.

He hasn't said ANY of this to my face, it has all been via public facebook rants for all our friends and family to see. Its as if he just wants to show me up. He is of course entitled to his opinion on it, but I feel he should tell me privately. He looks down on us anyway as we live in a HA house and are just ordinary, whereas he has a high flying job and a flashy car and nice apartment.

I don't have to explain myself to anyone, but we just don't want to take them on this occasion. And anyway, IMO a long flight followed by lots of walking around shops and sightseeing in the freezing cold NY winter, would not be much fun for them. or us

DB does not even have DC of his own and barely has anything to do with my DC, he is pretty uninterested in them tbh so why they sudden sanctimonious behaviour? confused

anyway I am hurt and just want to rant I guess., I am quite prepared to be told I am BU for going away sans DC but I really think my DBs behaviour is shitty and U.

BookieMonster Sat 06-Oct-12 13:22:01

Your brother is a twat. Go and have a lovely time, safe in the knowledge that your DC are being spoiled rotten.

differentnameforthis Sat 06-Oct-12 13:14:15

There must be more to it - is it because he wanted to see them & they'll be away?

I'm sure he knows where his own parents live!

foslady Sat 06-Oct-12 11:35:27

oh FGS - you have a home! And you only live once - your name is on the deeds is not going to give you and your dh memories......or help keep your marriage healthy - a trip to NY is. What's the point of owning a home if you split up because you can't afford to be happy???
And it's your life, your money - tell him to go do one!

flippinada Sat 06-Oct-12 10:55:48

Yanbu. Your brother sounds like gobshite and spoilt brat. There's a saying when it comes to folk like him - empty vessels make the most noise .

Quote me on that if you like smile

He sounds very toxic and opinionated!
What business is it off his and why on earth would he plaster such stuff on FB.
Delete him, he is obviously jealous that you have a family yet he only has items.

We all need a break at times and your dc will love spending time at their gps.

OhCobblers Sat 06-Oct-12 10:38:40

I would pay good money to see you post Pagwatch's reply (from 10:11:05) On Facebook grin and no YANBU!

Thumbwitch Sat 06-Oct-12 10:28:50

Oh I do like Pag's reply - and happy to have supplied the oh-so-appropriate weevil! grin

He's an interfering, condescending idiot. Ignore him.

Bunbaker Sat 06-Oct-12 10:24:06

Why don't you just defriend him.

OrangeandGoldMrsDeVere Sat 06-Oct-12 10:21:00

Your bro is totes well jell
And a tosser.
Have a nice time

Smeghead Sat 06-Oct-12 10:19:29

how dare he..

Smeghead Sat 06-Oct-12 10:19:07

I wouldnt be doing any replies on FB, just ringing him up and asking WTAF he thinks he is doing and fucking dare he post shit like that about me! Why bother with Passive Aggressive when plain old Aggressive will do?!

Pagwatch Sat 06-Oct-12 10:11:51

I had to nick weevil. It's very apt.

Pagwatch Sat 06-Oct-12 10:11:05

Could you post

"thank you for your comments. I would like to say that your advice will be considered and taken on board but posting opinionated guff on Facebook about my private life inclines me to the view that you have the intelligence of a weevil, the empathy of a piranha, the tact of Bernard Manning and the manners of a wet fart.
Perhaps if you had voiced your views to me I could have some respect for you but blabbing like an emotionally incontinent Jeremy Kyle guest forces me to ignore your rambling, uninformed nonsense.'

whois Sat 06-Oct-12 09:27:44

1. It's not actually over Christmas
2. Your kids will love having a treat at granny and granddad
3. Your brother is a massive twat to post that. I'd call him and ask him about his comments. Say that you are hurt and sad that he cares so little for your relationship.

TeeBee Sat 06-Oct-12 09:26:48

Bloody hell, surely you must respond. I'd say 'Investing in my marriage is more important than investing in bricks'...then show him up for the twat he is.

armedtotheteeth Sat 06-Oct-12 09:25:10

Dh and I had a long weekend abroad before dc2 arrived and same again before dc3. We had a great time and so did the dc and the grandparents. Ignore your brother and have fun in New York!

TeeBee Sat 06-Oct-12 09:24:21

Oh, I would so respond and show him up for the twat he is. You must be a much nicer person than me.

MoomieAndFreddie Sat 06-Oct-12 09:22:16

omg Thumbwitch! I actually LOLLED at "pathetic weevil" - its like you know him personally pmsl.

Well there has been more developments, he has now announced (again, via FB) that its not actually so much about the kids but more that he thinks the money would be "better spent on life improvements" - namely, towards a deposit on our own house.

Am speechless Tbh.

dysfunctionalme Sat 06-Oct-12 09:15:04

Your brother is being very nasty and tbh I would find it hard to maintain any sort of relationship with him.

You need to block him from your FB and let him stew in this on his own.

Does it help you to know I left my 6 month old for 8 days while I took the other child on holiday to another country?

DilysPrice Sat 06-Oct-12 09:14:52

Have a lovely time. If I were your mother I would be ripping your 'D'B a new one.

exoticfruits Sat 06-Oct-12 09:10:36

Have a lovely time. Just ignore him completely-don't bother to reply.

margerykemp Sat 06-Oct-12 09:08:36

He's toxic- remove him from your newsfeed.

GragPop Sat 06-Oct-12 09:07:44

Just call him a poo head.

charlottehere Sat 06-Oct-12 09:04:51

Your trip sounds lovley - enjoy. IMO you are not leaving dcs at xmas, its all over by boxing day!

charlottehere Sat 06-Oct-12 09:03:55

Your db is an arse.

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