I want to start out by saying I take full responsibility for not checking her phone and seeing this earlier, I thought we had a sensible and responsible daughter and I've allowed myself to be misled by that thought.
She left her hotmail account open on my computer about a two hours ago, and I had a nose through her in and out box and found a change of password email from this teenage dating website. (it's always been made very clear to her that I could and would look through her electronic communications and history, although this was said a while ago)
I went to the site and found she had a fucking profile on there! And messages to and from other 'people'.
But there's one specific profile who she's contacted more, he's given her his phone number, and I presume she's given him hers, because we've just looked on her phone and they've been fucking texting each other!
In her email account she's sent him photos, of some drawings etc, but things that are obviously from a child.
He's sent her a photo of himself (which she thought she'd deleted, but I managed to get it back).
On the texts, and there are a fuck of a lot of them -
-She's told him she's 13
-Lots of talking about wanking and masturbating (even after she's told him she's 13) - which she asked me about yesterday because she didn't know what it meant, and you can see from the texts she's got no idea WTF he's talking about.
-She's tried ringing him tonight she's text up to 10 to 1 at night, and from 7 in the morning.
-She's been texting him all day today - when we've been there with her!
-He's actually messaging her NOW!
I'm holding DH back from texting him to say something, because I need some advice. DH is talking about the police (if there are any of the MN bobbies I know use MN, is this that serious do you think? Is it exaggerating thinking this is a 'man' grooming what he knows to be an underage child?)
I really do feel ashamed we haven't protected her from this. We're so aware of shit like this, we honestly are, and when they're 9/10/11 YO everything seems so open and you've told them the rules and think they understand.
We got the phone for her on a contract two weeks ago because her old one broke in the summer holidays and we wanted her to be able have an OK one for secondary school (which she's just started doing the 35 minute walk to and from every day).
I'm angry for letting myself trust her and her breaking it, and for not checking her phone sooner. I don't know where to go from here. Obviously she's not got the phone and I'm looking through her email accounts (she's got two, but I can't get into one).
And what should we do about this 'bloke/man/teenager' who's texting her stuff now? Ignore him, block him?
FFS, I'm just reeling, please tell us what you think.
AIBU?
Just found out my 11 YO is texting with a person she met on a dating website
AgentZigzag · 22/09/2012 23:04
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