to ban DH from playing the Xbox 360 in front of our children?

[RagamuffinAndFidget]

DH is a bit of an Xbox 360 addict. He loves playing on it, it's his way of relaxing after work/after running around with DS1 (2.10) all morning (DS2 is almost ten months old so not quite up to running yet!). He does work hard, and he's a great Daddy, so it's not like he ignores the boys and plays the games all the time, IYSWIM? Sometimes, though, he doesn't turn it off right away when the boys wake up from their naps, if he's been playing it on his day off while they're asleep. He likes to play some games which involve shooting/fighting with swords (Skyrim is his current favourite, which is a medieval story-game. You play your way through the 'world', fighting with enemies along the way.).

Anyway, to cut a long story short I think DS1 has started to pick up on things from these occasions where DH hasn't turned the Xbox 360 off as soon as the children wake up. Earlier today he was playing with a cardboard tube, pretending it was an aeroplane, but then the game changed and he started jabbing me with it and saying, "I'm breaking you Mummy, like Daddy does on Skyrim. He breaks the people and they fall over."

Maybe I'm being a bit PFB (although I'd like to think I've moved past all that a bit now! ) but I don't really want DS1 playing these sorts of games. I know he'll probably pick them all up when he goes to school anyway but he's not there yet so I'd rather he wasn't playing at stabbing people right now!

So, AIBU to ask DH not to play the Xbox 360 during the day anymore? That way he can't 'forget' to switch it off when the children wake up, and hopefully DS1 won't see anyone else being 'broken' on there..

[WorraLiberty]

Totally PFB

Sorry but your DH is an adult...you don't get to 'ban' him from doing something like that in his leisure time.

If your kids are displaying behaviour that you're not happy with, it's down to you as a parent to teach them not to do it.

[JosephineCD]

Is Skyrim an age rated game?

[takingiteasy]

I don't think it's really appropriate to be zoned into a computer game when the DC's are running about. Obviously, MN'ing is totally different.

Regardless if it's an age restriced game then just because the DC aren't physically playing it they are still exposed. No different to sitting down to watch Nightmare on Elm Street when the kids are still running about.

Not PFB at all.

[LapsusLinguae]

YANBU. It is a 15 rated game. My DH plays and we both agree that he does not play when DS is around/awake and will not be until we are happy for DS to be playing the game/whatever game is around then.

It may not be at age 15 but will be much closer to 15 that to 4 iyswim.

Get a kinect for the Xbox and get some age appropriate games.

[WorraLiberty]

The OP didn't say he plays it when the kids are running about

Just that he doesn't turn it off immediately when they wake up from their naps

[2shoes]

you are going to ban a grown man from doing something!!!

[Olympia2012]

Why should they get a connect/age appropriate games? Why does everything have to be adapted for children's use?

[RagamuffinAndFidget]

Worra What do you think they do when they get up from their naps? They come straight into the living room and are exposed to whatever's on the television..

BTW, when I say ban I don't actually mean ban, obviously. I did say at the end of my OP that I wanted to ask him not to play it during the day anymore.

[AllYoursBabooshka]

You certainly can't ban him but maybe have a chat with him about playing a tamer game during the day. The children have obviously seen enough of the game to know that it involves killing people.

I wouldn't want my child seeing a film rated 15 and don't see how a game is any different.

[RagamuffinAndFidget]

Lapsus We do have a Kinect and a couple of dance/movement games but DS1 isn't really interested in playing with them. Which is good, I think. I'd rather he was playing with trains than a games console.. He's just watching what DH does when he plays, I think, which is why he's picking up on these things.

[Hullygully]

You wouldn't leave The Exorcist running on the tv when they walked in, would you?

[RagamuffinAndFidget]

Hully That's pretty much my point - I don't think it's appropriate for a not-even-three-yet year old to see people being shot/stabbed and killed in any format, be it as part of a game or as part of a film. I wouldn't put anything other than a U or PG film on for him to watch, so why should games be any different?

[Hullygully]

yes, I'm agreeing. Soz, my point was to the "But you can't tell him what to doers"

[LapsusLinguae]

WorraLiberty - OP's DH plays in front of DC enough that they say "I'm breaking you Mummy, like Daddy does on Skyrim. He breaks the people and they fall over."

Olympia2012 "Why should they get a connect/age appropriate games?" - the don't HAVE to - it's a suggestion as OP's DH likes relaxing with it after work. OP (perhaps not being a gamer) may not realise that there are some good games for DC for Xbox (particularly with a kinect)

"Why does everything have to be adapted for children's use?" - mainly because children are not adults and do not have the cognitave ability/emotional maturity to understand/process in the way adults do. HTH.

[LapsusLinguae]

OP - maybe you could video your DH playing and the DC wandering in. I bet that he is so caught up in playing that he doesn't quite realise what it looks like to an observer (a 2.10 year old observer).

[BlueBirdsNest]

could you get a second television and let him have a 'gaming room' that is away from your Dc's.

I don't think your being PFB or unreasonable but perphaps get him to play in his own room

[RagamuffinAndFidget]

At the moment we don't have a bedroom he can play in BlueBirds but it could be a good idea for when DS2 moves into the bedroom with DS1!

[Ithinkitsjustme]

I don't think YABU to ask him to not play age restricted games in front of the children. Has he noticed that they are picking things up from them? Often people who play these games don't notice things like that. My own teenagers have skyrim, and watch 12's/ 15's on DVD but they are not allowed to have them on when the 3 year old is around, and my 11 year old isn't allowed in teh room when a 15 is playing. (Got enough rooms in our house so it isn't an issue)

[Hullygully]

He is an adult

They are the children

er....

[Olympia2012]

lapsus no, I meant it's op DH xbox.... Why should it be handed over for dc use? Some things are for adults. Maybe he doesn't want dc on it?

[monkeymamma]

Ragamuffin, I could have written your OP! (Except that I only have one DC and he's only 4months old.) DH is addicted to Skyrim (to the point that our nickname for AIBU is SkAIBU) and although he'd never play it 'in front of' DS or instead of engaging/playing with him, he has had it on in the background eg when I've been BFing DS, and I've felt uncomfortable not so much with the killing/fighting (lots of the quests don't involve violence anyway I think?) but the scary music and extremely scary voices (eg the Night Mother!). But because it's his favourite way to unwind (and he works hard, commuting/working and also helping with DS) I don't want to stop him enjoying the occasional bit of escapism.
I don't really know what the answer is - DS is very easily distracted now from feeding so I'm tending to do it somewhere quiet. But I think the posters who have likened it to watching more 'grown up' telly have got an interesting point - maybe see it in that light and if it's only the odd few minutes then it's surely fine.
I wonder if part of the problem is that it can take ages to save the game (I've found with DH anyway) and/or our DHs don't want to stop in the middle of a battle or 'conversation' essential to the quest they're doing, so it can take a good 4 or 5 minutes to close it down? This has been a frustration for me when I've just made a lovely meal and asked DH to switch off/come to the table/find some telly so we can eat it on our laps. Perhaps talk to him gently about your concerns and suggest he saves regularly so that when DCs wake he can just switch off and not worry that his progress hasn't been saved?
But can we set up a 'Skyrim Widows' thread??!!!! It does drive me mad sometimes!!

[BertieBotts]

YANBU - he should not be playing age rated games around children. DP plays games but we also have an agreement, just the same as I think DP would be shocked if he walked in to find me watching an adult's film and DS playing on the floor while I was watching it. It's not hard to wait until they're in bed, you get four whole hours from bedtime to adults' bed time.

DS even knows about the age ratings and knows he's allowed to play the games with "3" on but if it says 7/15/18 then he has to wait until he is that age.

[McPie]

Dh has games like that and enjoys playing them and I would never stop him unless he exposed my children to them!
He was warned when ds1 was born that if I ever found out that he had played them when he was awake in the same room then I would destroy the disc.
I think these games are not good for young children and have only recently relaxed it with ds1 (11) as he understands they are not real and in no way representitive of real life, they still cannot play them until dtwins (5) are in their beds.
Move him to another room, tell him to wait or to play something more child friendly and if he wont then I would be inclined to remove/hide the offending games for the protection of my children.

[BertieBotts]

Oh and I forgot to say - it's stupid to play a game you can't immediately exit when you know you have a child who may wake up from a nap shortly.

Gaming is fine and I have absolutely no problem with it, just don't be a dick about it. It's not on to ignore a child because you're busy playing, expose children to inappropriate content, or let it take over your whole life.

[AWomanCalledHorse]

Bertie, you can save in Skyrim at anypoint (unless you're in a coversation).

I don't think Skyrim is a 'bad' game to play infront of children (less violent, than for example Mortal Kombat or Fallout), but if you're worried about DS1 imitating it, then I can't see the problem with asking him not to play when they're around.