to be hopping mad that someone fancies DH and spoke like this about him?

[MistyMountainHop]

was going to NC but can't be arsed. am quite prepared to be told i am being U and happy to be told to get a grip

but i am boiling mad and been on the verge of tears since i was told

dh is in a band, and a couple of weeks ago one of the other band members, the guitarist, brought in his female mate to audition for them at a rehearsal. they all decided she isn't going to be in the band as they didn't think she was good enough. fair enough, so far, Ok.

the guitarist is my friends DH. yesterday i was with her, and her DH was there, and he (somewhat) gleefully told me that the singer had told him she fancies my DH like mad and said he was "the stuff of fantasies" .
dh had no idea she said that until i told him. and she knows he is married, in fact SHE is married too ffs.

i Just Don't Like It. its made me really angry and upset. i told DH and he just laughed about it and also thought it was a bit weird as she had only seen him the once. but i reckon he is flattered, who wouldn't be if someone said that.

and DH is fit, totally gorgeous, and a catch as well. i don't know what he sees in me tbh when he could have anyone and things like this just make me more insecure :(

and it makes me wonder whether, had they kept her on as a singer, whether my friends DH would have told me? and i would have been none the wiser while DH goes out playing in a band with someone who fancies the fuck out of him

sorry its long :(

[Shutupanddrive]

Who are you hopping mad with? It's hardly DH's fault

[PomBearAtTheGatesOfDawn]

Would it help to think of it as "Ha you cow! He's my husband, and it's me he comes home to"?
He is with you, and nothing anyone else can do can change that - he loves you
Just because this silly woman hasn't the sense to keep her crush to herself doesn't mean anything. Even if your DH is sort of flattered (who doesn't like being paid a compliment?) it doesn't mean he's going to elope with her or anything.
If you trust each other, and you love each other, nobody can come between you, it doesn't work like that.

[SquidgyBiscuits]

You sound very insecure, which I think is the problem, not the fact that someone thinks / thought your DH is hot.

Other people fancy my DH. It affirms my wonderful taste. It doesn't mean anything other than that really. People could check him out in the supermarket, walking down the street etc. You can't let that bother you. It really doesn't mean your DH is going to do anything.

I frequently tell my DH that If Kelly Jones ever gives me the nod I'll drop him like a hot potato. I said to my friend last week that a business contact of mine was rather dishy. Means nothing!

[dukeofpork]

It's a component, not a dig!

You should be proud!

Get a grip! There are much more important things to worry about!

[dukeofpork]

A component? A compliment!

[MamaGeekChic]

i think the only problem here is your own insecurity tbh... I told friends (and DP) that whilst on a night out on Sat I had met the most beautiful man I had ever seen, this is totally true he was breathtakingly beautiful, I dont think i've ever met a more perfectly formed person in real life... no one was threatened by that, or upset... and tbh I very much doubt the person in question would have given me a second glance. I just don't see why you're so angry, she never propositioned him (did she?) If i was you, i'd be flattered...

[ThisLittleTeddyBear]

Who are you mad at? Your DH, the girl or the friend?

Sounds like everyone handled it quite well, apart from you (and I mean that really nicely).

[SunRaysthruClouds]

She didn't get the job so it doesn't matter.

Try to unwind a little - have you not been together long?

[Deflatedballoonbelly]

Oh dear, I am pleased when people fancy my fella. I take it as a compliment.

YABU and V immature!

[StarlightDicKenzie]

Lol, you should be flattered too. Other people want him but YOU have him, unless you're not certain of that, in which case leave the bastard!

[HeadfirstForHalos]

I would laugh about it tbh! We went on holiday a few weeks ago and on the first night once the dcs were in bed I sent dh down to the bar. He got hit on by a russian woman who told him he was a beautiful man and wanted to make the love with him. He ran off and we all took the piss out of him for the next 2 weeks (cue many dodgy russian accents)

[BlueFergie]

But who are you cross with? Not DH surely? The girl? But sure what harm if she thought he was good looking? You admit yourself he is? She is allowed to think someone other than her husband is gorgeous. Doesn't mean she would do anything about it. Your friends DH? Probably thought you'd like to hear that people think your DH is handsome.
TBH it does sound like you are insecure. Is there a reason for this? Do you not trust your DH?

[squeaver]

Turn it around. You meet a bloke through work, you're unlikely to ever see him again. Later you discover that he fancies you, that you're his "fantasy woman".

How would you feel if your DH then ranted on about how FURIOUS he is?

[LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726]

Perhaps she just said it to get her into the band? It didn't work anyway!

OP... beauty is in the eye of the beholder, it really is. "Gorgeous" is really very subjective so don't worry that there are hoardes of women fancying your husband. Even if there are... he's your husband and he's committed to you.

I think you might need some thought for yourself and raising your self-esteem. How can you achieve that?

[chirpyemma]

Oh you are completely NOT being unreasonable.
Whilst it's nice to know other women agree that your dh is attractive, I think there's a line and she has definitely crossed it.
Someone I was friendly with years ago actually told me to my face (cheeky bitch) that my dh was gorgeous, amazingly sexy and if she had the chance she'd love to "get off with him". Needless to say, we didn't remain friendly.
Wtf is the matter with some women - and you say she's married too? Bloody hell.
Try not to let this make you feel insecure - if anyone should be insecure its clearly miss tarty pants with the substandard singing voice.

:)

[Llanbobl]

Take it as a compliment that you have a gorgeous DH.

Can't really see a huge problem - at some point we've all fancied the pants off someone else.......possibly famous, possibly not. As my boss is fond of saying - there's nothing wrong with window shopping as long as you don't get your purse out!

As this woman isn't going to be in the band and probably will have limited future contact with your DH I do think you're being a bit for no real reason.

[Conchita]

on the other hand lucky you to have such a hot DH that grown women develop irrational crushes on him. If he looked like a warthog you might not have this problem, on the other hand you would have a DH who looked like a warthog
Your friend's DH sounds like a bit of a stirrer though? Did he realise he was upsetting you?

[DinahMoHum]

we all feel a little insecure sometimes. Thats nobodies fault, not even the romans, but I wouldnt waste too much time worrying about it. Its nice that hes still attractive, no? Doesnt mean she would try and nab him

[ThisLittleTeddyBear]

Oooh, MamaGeekChic, you've just reminded me of the man on the same tube carriage as me in April 2006... I told everyone about him, including my DP now my DH. Harmless appreciation of a beautiful being.

[Tryharder]

The problem is neither with this girl or your DH. You need to get yourself a healthy dose of self confidence. You are acting like a schoolgirl and this sort of petty jealousy is very unattractive.

Your DH is fit, this girl paid him a compliment - this reflects on you!

[thescarlettpimpernel]

This is not about how 'fit' your DH is (er...are you fifteen?!), or about someone fancying him. It's about you being very insecure.

I think you need to tackle that first. No-one should go around feeling like they don't deserve their husband.

[inatrance]

Aw it's horrible feeling jealousy, you have my sympathies :(
But it's true, your DH loves you, you are the one he married and while I'm sure he's flattered, he probably thinks this woman is a bit silly and has forgotten all about it by now.

You need to work on your self esteem and see that it is also flattering for you that other women fancy your DH. It obviously means that you have great taste and that you must be pretty special yourself

Don't let the little jealous whisper in your mind take over. No good can come of it!

[ENormaSnob]

Does this stem from how you and your dh got together?