Mumsnet Talk

Think I need to put this to a large selection of women so: 

It is DW birthday today and we went to a pub for lunch, with her parents and sister. 

This year I got her the complete mrs beeton. (an old copy, not first edition but getting there, )
DW loves to cook, loves to read and loves old books and has some of those new short ones of mrs beeton- there is one on jam, one on baking those ones.
She loved it. 
She opened her presents at the end of the meal. Her sister declares that it is a highly sexist present and what a chauvinistic gift to give your wife and that it screams of sexism. 

DW promptly told her where to go, her parents said it is only a book. 

SIL kept saying how it was sexist and how it shows how under the thumb (!) DW is if she can't see that it is sexist. 

In the car back home DW told me not to listen and that it was in no way sexist. 

But it has got me thinking. 
Is my DW in the minority here? 
Would you feel a Mrs Beeton guide to household management (or any cooking/household related book) is a sexist gift?

I wouldn't say it was sexist - but Mrs Beeton is crap from the cookery point of view. Elizabeth David might have been a better bet!

Not sexist at all! Maybe if she didn't actually like cooking etc it might be but it sounds as if it's a thoughtful present for her.

If you know that your DW is a keen cook, and already likes Mrs Beeton, then I think it is a lovely and very thoughtful present.

Why would it be sexist? I presume that she cooks for enjoyment?

It would be a patronising and sexist present if you insisted that your DW always did all the cooking and you bought her the book so that she could improve her cooking.

Your SIL is silly.

I think her sister sounds like a bit of an idiot.

If it was out of the blue I might be a bit but it's something that interests her and to me that it shows that you've actually taken some time to find something that she would want.

Surely if your DW likes and appreciates the books you have given her, then that's a far better gift than buying her a Haynes Manual just to please her sister?

Of course not! She sounds a complete Wally.

Her sister is an arse projecting her views onto everyone else!

I have told DH which cookbooks to buy me for my birthday.... In may!

Some people will find an 'ist' in almost anything these days. Ignore her!

yanbu, sis in law is prob just jealous

Would you feel a Mrs Beeton guide to household management (or any cooking/household related book) is a sexist gift?

Depends if you wife likes those sort of books and would appreciate it.

If you bought her black peep hole bras and crotchless knickers, when she likes a good over shoulder boulder houlder and a pair of Bridget Jones kidney warmers - now the I would say it was sexist!

Ah - might I also suggest, for clarity - is your SIL single?

Not sexist if it's something that she likes. It would have been sexist if you bought it to improve her cooking...

Ignore her sister.

If your wife is happy with her present then that's all that matters.

YANBU as your wife loves it - you got her a present for something she enjoys. DP knows I like cooking and crafts so if he got me a cookery book now (some time into our relationship) I would not think it sexist and I do consider myself a strong feminist.

OTOH my DFather is very old-fashioned and bought my DM the Mrs Beeton household management book for their first Christmas together. I have always been a bit about it because a) she had been married before so it's a bit of an insult if he meant she needed to know how to 'manage a house' and b) he hadn't known her long enough to know whether she'd be interested in it (it has, AFAIK, never been read). I think he meant it in a stereotypical this-is-what-I-get-a-women present rather than this-is-what-she-loves.

The intention is everything

*woman

Not sexist at all.

Cookery is a hobby enjoyed by both men & women.

Agree it depends massively on context. This context was fine, it's relevant to her interests, you thought she would like it, she did. Not sexist, just because she happens to have a stereotypically "feminine" interest (baking).

If I recieved a Mrs Beeton book on household management, then yes, I probably would find it sexist, because I loathe householdy stuff and am not particularly interested in old books if there are new editions available. Context, see?

Might we enquire what the SIL bought her?

It is actually somewhat sexist of your SIL to assume that cooking is a chore for your DW, and not something that she would engage in for pleasure.

Your SIL is jumping to conclusions. If she is still single she may have views which differ when she settles down herself. She may also be a little jealous of your sister's setup and so is pouring cold water on it? By which I don't mean that she wants to be married to you(!) just that she wants to be married...

Nope i would love it, i don't think it's sexist at all.

Seeing as DW likes all the things mentioned I dont think it is sexist at all.

Single, yes. Lesbian, no

Umm she got her a pair of earrings.