to really want to cut costs as much as possible for my wedding?

[justelliotandme]

I'm getting married soon and DP has left it up to me to sort every aspect of it out. All he cares about is that we're making some very important vows to each other, and that's the most important thing to him. If I ask him anything about it, he completely agrees with whatever I say, but is very helpful in helping me prepare things, ie making the invitations and driving me to places for bits and bobs for our big day.

I don't want us to go into debt over our wedding day and so have drawn up a few plans to save money. I would like to know if any of them are 'must haves' or 'must do's' and can't be cut on our big day without causing a few of the guests to walk away with a cat's bum face.

So, the plans I have are;

No buttonholes or bridesmaid bouquets, just artificial (but very real looking one) for me. We'll have artificial (but again real looking) flowers from ebay decorating the reception room which will be a function suite in local hotel.

Normal, co-ordinating smart suits for groom and best man from Asda probably with waistcoats and ties second hand from ebay.

Both mine and DP's parents will make a cold finger food buffet for reception (but make it posh as possible and present it lovely as can be)

Wedding breakfast will be just a three course meal in a normal, local country pub with about 50 guests who can sit wherever they like. Don't want to organise people into seating plans, so long as DP and I and both our parents can all sit on one table.

We will probaly get offers of help from friends (one is florist who i'm sure will offer to make button holes and flowers for the church etc for our wedding present and another friend is a caterer who specialises in wedding catering), but if they don't offer, is it really so bad to do the above to save a bit of money?

[worraliberty]

No it's not bad at all

Still sounds like a very expensive wedding though

I'm with your DF on this. The vows are more important than hotels and 3 course meals etc.

Have you chosen your dress?

[ViviPru]

YANBU - I predict the general consensus to this thread will be its your wedding, do it how you like, overblown weddings aren't all they're cracked up to be anyway - and I'd agree.

The only comment I'd make is that my best friends recently had a low-key no frills wedding and cut back on all the fripperies. They did however concede to buttonholes (they didn't really want to, but father of the bride really wanted them) and in the end everyone agreed that in fact it was the buttonholes that really tied together the bridal group (which might otherwise have seemed a bit disparate) in a subtle but effective way. They were proper florist ones, really lovely, and were very inexpensive. Hopefully your florist friend will come up trumps!

[catgirl1976]

The nicest wedding I ever went to had the reception in the local pub with a buffet made by the mother of the bride.

What made it so great was how clearly in love the bride and groom were and how happy and relaxed the day was.

Yours sounds lovely. Congratulations

[JaneFonda]

YANBU at all, it sounds lovely!

The most important thing is that you and DP mean the vows you make; flowers, food, and venues are not important and it's up to you what you do.

If you're inviting family and friends, surely no one will mind if you don't have lots of posh things!

[DelGirl]

if it was me I would choose buttonholes etc over reception flowers I think, at least for groom and best man, sorry it does seem a bit odd to cut b

[RecursiveMoon]

Of course YANBU . It's your day, so you should have it the way that want it, and spend the amount of money that you want to spend on it. Your plans sound lovely btw.

DH and I didn't do some things that are kindof expected as part of the normal wedding thing, e.g. cars, photographer, full sitdown meal etc., but we did do some things that we really wanted, e.g. champagne, platinum rings etc. We had a lovely day, and we think that all of our guests did too.

[noblegiraffe]

My bouquet which was artificial from ebay came with a matching buttonhole for the groom.

It would be a shame if the groom didn't at least have one - otherwise what will distinguish him from the rest of the guests?

[DelGirl]

sorry cut back on that then provide dinner for 50. Having said that, I cut back on the wedding breakfast as we booked a 12 piece 'big band' instead which no-one knew about.

[justelliotandme]

Thank you all for your replies.

Worraliberty, we've got a carvery deal at the pub which will work out at £5 per person. Not bad for a 3 course meal. The food isn't outstanding, but we both love a carvery and with soup to start, a hot roast dinner and chocolate cake and cream to finish, we can't complain at that!

We were going to have the ceremony in the local town hall at the registry office. Their ceremonial rooms are gorgeous, and then go for the meal, and go back for the reception in the town hall's ball room at night, but we were worried people might think it was cheap and nasty of us to do a registry office wedding as we;ve already heard some comments from 'friends' about such weddings that have taken place in registry offices. DP says he doesn't give a shit what people think, he just wants to tell our closest loved ones how much he adores me, awww!, but i'm a little bit more sensitive and would get hurt if anyone called my wedding 'common and cheap'.

[noblegiraffe]

We had artificial flowers for the ceremony in vases which were then put on the tables during the meal, so they got used twice and made the tables look a lot nicer.

[justelliotandme]

I forgot to say, we already have 2 button holes for DP and best man. They're artificial, but lovely looking. We don't want to get them for anyone else really.

[Nanny0gg]

Again, your day, have what you want.
You certainly don't need buttonholes for all the guests, but it is nice for the bridal party (including parents) to have a kind of link.
And registry offices are fine - in my day that was the only option if you didn't want a church - and the photos in the garden are lovely! There's nothing 'cheap and nasty' about it at all.

[worraliberty]

Worraliberty, we've got a carvery deal at the pub which will work out at £5 per person. Not bad for a 3 course meal. The food isn't outstanding, but we both love a carvery and with soup to start, a hot roast dinner and chocolate cake and cream to finish, we can't complain at that!

Sounds wonderful

[OldGreyWassailTest]

I agree with cat64 about the bridesmaids not having anything to hold. Even a single flower with a trailing ribbon would be better than nothing.

[HowMuchIsTooMuchDietCoke]

All sounds perfect to me, our wedding was very similar and we had a wonderful time. We did a registry office ceremony (lovely old building in town, great for photos) and a restaurant afterwards. DH was in a new, smart normal suit with a tie that co-ordinated with my dress.
We didn't have bridesmaids, I had a bouquet of roses that I bought the day before and arranged (I am good at flower arranging) copying an arrangement from a bridal magazine.

We didn't do table seating plans but grouped people together onto tables and let them arrange themselves from there. We had a lot of people fly in from all over the world so lots of people who didn't know anyone else so we grouped them into groups where they would get on / have something in common to talk about.

Everybody seemed to enjoy it, lots got in touch afterwards to say what a good time they'd had. One of the biggest compliments we got was from a very rich auntie whose daughter had recently married in a ££££ wedding, she said it was so nice to be at a wedding where the whole day was just about love and happiness, not about showing off at all. It meant a lot to us, because after her daughters wedding she could have easily looked down on ours.

[NinkyNonker]

Why would that be a bad thing?

[LovingChristmas]

eBay was a life saver for my wedding, we did artificial flowers from ebay for parents, brother and SIL, bridesmaids and page boy, older bridesmaids had a bigger set of flowers for about £8 each, younger ones had flower wand, £4 each and button holes were £2 for men £2.50 for women, and do you know what they all kept them, lovely momento's of the day for them.

Have the wedding you want, no one will say it's cheap and nasty, we did similar, although our carvery wasn't as cheap as yours and we did table plan still :-)

[troisgarcons]

Cars - dont bother with them - press gang a mate/relly with posh or classic car to drive you - everyone else can sort themselves out!!


Button holes? Oh go down to the local supermarket the night before, get a load of bunshes of carnations and snip the stalks off. Wrap the end in a bit of ribbon. That'll come to about a tenner.

Are you having an evening boogie-woogie? ipod rigged up!

Best weddings are ones like yours - everyone enjoys themselves.

[worraliberty]

Boaks @ boogie-woogie

[PessimisticMissPiggy]

I did my wedding 'cheap' and small. When you have only your closest friends and family there no-one will notice the amount of money spent, they'll just be pleased to be part of your special day.

[whackamole]

Sounds really lovely, and almost exactly what we are doing - right down to the fact that soon-to-be-DH allows me free reign with absolutely EVERYTHING!

We have bought some lovely foam roses from ebay for my bouquet.

[troisgarcons]

16 years ago we did ours for £1,200 and that included feeding 300 guests, actually probably closer to 400 as we were smuggling them in the fire exit