So apparantly today I 'abandoned' my friend in Central London

[TheDevilWearsPrimark]

This is on facebook, garnering lots of sympathy and 'oh what a bitch' and I am fuming, but resisting posting what actually happened.

I can only see my DC at the weekends and in London (long story and I live way further north so it is tricky)

Friend lives in Reading, often works in London so knows her way around. She had asked to spend today with me and the DC as she misses them and we haven't had a catch up for ages.

First we go to Tate modern, DS (ASD) I could tell wasn't comfortable, but hadn't had an outburst so I suggested we go ind a little place for a coffee and then walk along the river. Friend moans the whole time that she really wanted to go to the tate and that DS was 'fine'

Many more such incidents, such as her spending ages in shops whilst I waited outside, to the extent I told her it'd be best we went and did our own thing.

She left in a huff.

Waibu?

[TheDevilWearsPrimark]

waibu?

Hah I meant was I being unreasonable?

[JamieLeeCurtis]

Does nobody talk to anyone anymore?

[EricNorthmansMistress]

YWNBU, your time with your DCs is precious and you know your DS better than anyone. Ignore the facebook chuffing if you can, but I'd contact her directly and explain that you think she's being unfair for XYZ reasons...

[tummysgottogo]

I don't think you were being unreasonable. Your DS has particular needs that you don't want to and can't ignore. Does your friend have DCs?

[CarGirl]

Your friend should have been x1000 more sensitive to the situation you are in and accepted that your priority is spending time with your children and believed you when you said your ds wasn't comfortable. I am on your behalf.

[MittzyBittzyTeenyWeeny]

Maybe not Unreasonable but just not a situation that could be easily rectified.

Your friend was perhaps a littleU. If I was with a mate who had DC's with any SN I wouldn't dream of trying to do something like go to the Tate. Or at least recognise that it is going to be dictated by the child's needs.

Perhaps you should both talk and try to go down with time to spare so you can do something grown up together with no DC to appreciate each pothers company.

Moaning about it on FB is VU. I wouldn't dream of doing this to a friend.

If I had to take my 2 to The Tate I would leave with a litter of kittens from the stress!

[TheDevilWearsPrimark]

She does have children yes, and I expected they would come along today, my children would have loved it and I'd planned the day as such.

She said when we met she fancied 'a childfree day' !?

I know I have worse things to be stressing about but I've just got home to a cold house and feel I can't even rely on good friends anymore.

I'm just desperately sad. AIBU was not the right place for this thread. Apologies.

[agedknees]

YANBU Devil. Your time is precious with your dc.

Think your friend sounds a bit selfish.

[TheDevilWearsPrimark]

Mittzy DS actually loves tate modern, the escalators fascinate him and he especially loves the turbine hall, but I think it affronted him that it was fenced off and I had to stop him climbing under.

[tummysgottogo]

Maybe the plans for the day could have been clearer - especially on her side, seeing as she should surely realise that this is your day with your DS. Actually I'm getting crosser with her the more I think about it.

[dearprudence]

Assuming you're her FB friend, it was unreasonable of her to post that she'd been abandoned. This is a direct dig at you in public and is horrible.

Sorry you've had a bad day.

[booyhoo]

TDWP, i am assuming thsi friend knows the whole story as to why you can only see your dcs at weekends and in london? i don't think you were BU at all and in your shoes i would post a response on FB setting teh story straight. surely she knows you will see it? she is being very PA.

[TheDevilWearsPrimark]

I have DS and DD, DD was very happy to go into the shops with my friend, which I am grateful for as it left me to solely concentrate on DS, but still there's a limit to how long you can physically restrain a 5 year old from running onto a bus/ into the road

[onadietcokebreak]

This women is not your friend. Surely she knows the crap you are going through at mo. What a cow

[Liluri]

You probably have completely different opinions about the day, but one thing I do know is that you should avoid entering into a discussion about it on FB, so well done for resisting the urge.

FB is like a temple to the gods of passive aggression - it astounds me how many otherwise reasonable adults use it to get at other people.

[tummysgottogo]

Adding the FB public dig and I'm thinking you should dump this friend.

[TheDevilWearsPrimark]

I should also say though, that I'm still feeling really happy about thje weekend, we had a lovely lovely day yesterday and thanks to a wonderful and understanding friend.

I usually stay at hers at the weekend and yesterday she took her dC out for the day leaving us the run of her house so we did baking and playdoh and 'normal' things as I've been so badly craving.

We even had cbeebies on

[Tamashii]

YWNBU - and I agree that Facebook seems to attract lots of negative comments passive agressively... Is that even a word? Woops. Yes, well done for not commenting. YOU know what really happened and sometimes when the other person is playing the victim people see that "thou protesteh too much"... Also, if it's her friends on FB then they are likely to stand up for her in front of everyone to keep the peace.... Horrible.

[booyhoo]

aww, now that is the sort of friend you do need right now.

[TheDevilWearsPrimark]

As for facebook, I left then got an account, but all it does is annoy me. Best left alone.

I am going to call my friend tomorrow once I can think clearly.

[catinthehat2]

Can you link this thread to facebook?

Then you can get rid of London friend for good.

[TheDevilWearsPrimark]

A text from exH 10 minutes after he collected the children didn't help

"I need to raise my game they have so much fun with you whilst I'm left doing bedtime etc"

He knows that's all i want, normal shite, hunting for PE kit in the morning, bedtime stories. grrr

[booyhoo]

what an arsehole. keep the text for court. it is antagonistic.

[DeanWinchestersBitch]

I'm sorry that you feel your friend's moaning (FB and in RL) have ruined what was, until that point, a lovely weekend with your DC. If she knows you'll have seen her FB status, then it's very bitchy and incredibly passive-aggressive of her to have posted it.