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to be bored with myself and to want to become a Jilly Cooper character for the winter?

(745 Posts)
BalloonSlayer Wed 13-Oct-10 12:32:43

I want to sit in front of a fire of apple logs, wearing only a Dark Blue towel.

I want a rosy-cheeked face which I have to tone down with green foundation, instead of looking like a corpse unless I put on loads of blusher.

I want to drink three quarters of a bottle of Moet before doing ANYTHING. (Including: getting up in the morning or taking an important exam.)

I want an Absolutely Filthy Mini instead of a people carrier.

I want DH to do thumb exercises so that the ball of his thumb becomes pudgy because apparently that's sexy or something hmm.

I want to lose loads and loads of weight every time I am a bit sad about something, so that everyone who thought I was a minger before is suddenly struck by my beauty, instead of eating cakes to cheer myself up and getting fatter.

AIBU?

sharbie Wed 13-Oct-10 12:33:36

grin me too - taggy i think

IvantaOuiOui Wed 13-Oct-10 12:44:17

Oh yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. I love Jilly so much. I want to slosh wine into glasses, play nude tennis with RCB and quote poetry in every conversation. cue blank looking playground mums

notwavingjusthaunting Wed 13-Oct-10 12:45:26

Yes me too.

I was always more of a Janey than a Helen anyway.....

BalloonSlayer Wed 13-Oct-10 12:45:53

I'll be your line judge Ivanta and measure how far he really is over the line wink

PortoFangO Wed 13-Oct-10 12:46:21

Oh Taggy yes!!!

sharbie Wed 13-Oct-10 12:46:43

bit cold today for nude tennis iykwim

IvantaOuiOui Wed 13-Oct-10 12:47:06

do you type topless in the garden, notwavingjusthaunting?

notwavingjusthaunting Wed 13-Oct-10 12:48:59

God yes, whenever the fancy takes me

<<hoists breasts up over the space bar>>

IvantaOuiOui Wed 13-Oct-10 12:51:01

I like the very wicked Chessie France Lynch - shagged everyone and did nude backstroke in her pool whilst being ogled by the staff.

notwavingjusthaunting Wed 13-Oct-10 12:52:15

Where's Getorf - she will most definately have a view on this grin

BalloonSlayer Wed 13-Oct-10 12:52:17

And when I am ill, I won't have to wait for three hours in some bacteria ridden surgery, that nice Dr Benson will just happen to be passing on his way to/from a dinner party and will examine me, whilst wearing his dinner jacket, as I lie in my four-poster with its rose-pink curtains

"She has been making too much green tomato chutney" he will say, "She needs to rest and must eat nothing but smoked salmon and scrambled eggs for three days. And she needs another ash tray."

< sigh >

notwavingjusthaunting Wed 13-Oct-10 12:53:32

And your fridge will always be full of stuff you can just throw together for a meal.

BalloonSlayer Wed 13-Oct-10 12:54:47

And I want hair with tendrils.

Well I think I do . . .

IvantaOuiOui Wed 13-Oct-10 12:55:29

Tagiie would have filled up my deep freeze with lovely food, and my "treasure" would have cleaned my minging house.

Orlando Wed 13-Oct-10 12:55:54

I want to walk down to the village shop (past hedgerows groaning with blackberries and Old Man's Beard) to buy quiche and Sancerre, instead of pushing a trolley past people I have never seen before in Sainsburys.

notwavingjusthaunting Wed 13-Oct-10 12:56:22

Nooo, you need "just got out of bed" hair that makes every red-blooded man in the vicinity want to shag you grin

weblette Wed 13-Oct-10 12:56:26

Oh to be thoroughly over-excited!

notwavingjusthaunting Wed 13-Oct-10 12:57:52

And wander through the hedgerows on a hot summer's day, absently snapping off a bit of wild garlic, which makes you nostalgic....

(as opposed to getting run over by a 4 X 4/motorbike/tractor and breathing in toxic fumes

BalloonSlayer Wed 13-Oct-10 12:58:08

Gah, I haven't been thoroughly over-excited for years grin

notwavingjusthaunting Wed 13-Oct-10 12:59:34

And have a glass of wine on an empty stomach and feel "tight" confused

faverolles Wed 13-Oct-10 12:59:36

I think I'm like that hippy friend of Helens - the one who breastfed with triangular tits . My dh is nicer than hers though!

Oh to be drinking neat whisky out of a mug <<sigh>>

Lotkinsgonecurly Wed 13-Oct-10 13:00:08

Loving this - could do with being secretly tempted by dashing young males.
Having lots of children cavorting effortlessly around the house rather than them and me being glued to peppa pig.
Drinking to drown sorrows and forgetting to eat.

BalloonSlayer Wed 13-Oct-10 13:00:41

And I want a mobile phone that has a "receiver" I can "slam down."

weblette Wed 13-Oct-10 13:02:35

Well no one's ever bought me a bottle of Quercus, that lemony perfume which slightly disturbs so many men...

I'm more Lizzie Jones than Taggie tbh

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