To not bother making friends with women any more because they're too bloody bitchy

[Dinkytinky]

Went out for dinner with new work colleagues (all temps) and one woman who has been nice to me all week just turned on me- sniping about everything I said/dirty looks.
At one point we were talking about money and I said I'd like to work in banking/brokering so I could earn alot quickly and pay off my mums mortgage and she could retire. She said 'don't pretend you're that kind of person dinky, why do you act all sweet all the time? You don't have to sugarcoat everything like an x factor story'
she's only known me a week! Grr
then sniped at me being excited about new tv- it'll be the first brand new one I've ever owned and I only mentioned it once.

I act confident but I'm really shy and really want to make more female friends but I just can't stand it!! Grr, it took alot for me to work up the courage to go out, I just want to hide in my cave again

[BitOfFun]

One nasty person does not condemn an entire gender- don't be silly. Just be cautious at first when letting out personal information and make sure the person is nice.

[werewolf]

I've never understood this thing about women being bitchy - do you mean they say nasty things where a man wouldn't bother, or just a different type of nasty?
Hope that makes sense.

[MrsYamada]

We expect women not to be mean because they are 'one of us' - It throws us when they are.

[Vallhala]

It sounds to me like she has the problem, not you. She must be terribly insecure to put another person down so spitefully and without good reason.

Ignore the silly cow!

Most of my friends are men, not because I don't like women but because I often find that I have more to talk about with the lads (footie fan and former motor dealership employee). However, I go on personality, not gender, and the women I am friends with are fantastic and very valued. I'd just suggest that you pity the silly moo and judge on the individual, not on whether they wear thongs or boxer shorts!

[Fruitysunshine]

Women can be unbelievably bitchy in a way that really cuts you.

You know where you stand with this numpty now so keep your distance but be professional.

[Dinkytinky]

Yeah werewolf like belittling comments iyswim? Blokes never talk to me like that/I don't know any that slag off their mates clothes etc as soon as they leave the table etc.



I liked her too- thought she was very funny and very clever (she found out she got a 1st in her degree last week) ah well, I just get a bit lonely - moved to a ew area a year ago you see, and while dp is brill, I do need some girl-mates

[MrsYamada]

You can still be mates, you know where you stand now so give as good as you get. She isn't going to be one of your confide in type friends but she could still have a place.

[werewolf]

Ah - I don't think I know any women like that. I've tended to work in male-dominated environments.

So, if you're in the pub and someone leaves the table, is it fairly normal for the other women to run them down?

[WetAugust]

YANBU - give me a male-dominated work place in prefernce to a female one any day

[Dinkytinky]

I think I'll just leave her to it tbh, i'm just a bit sad spose!
I really just want someone to hang about the benefit counter with and giggle with. My old best mate moved away to flipping Ghana, so contact is obvs very limited and my mum has never really had the time.
DP is very good and will come shopping with me, even said he'd come for manicure with me so shouldn't really moan

[MrsYamada]

I don't think it's 'normal' but you always get the odd one and then the other women sort of flounder not sure how to respond.

[Dinkytinky]

Yup werewolf!!! Most of my mates now are boys (sound engineers and techies) and I love them but I feel like a right sad cow going shopping on my own when everyone else is in groups, lieke I side dp is so good but also works away most wkends so I'm usually tottering around by myself

[werewolf]

Dinky - you'll probably find some of the others are more on your wavelength. I'd keep this woman more distant though.

[werewolf]

I feel enlightened, thanks to this thread!

[Chil1234]

YANBU... My bad experiences with bitchy females started at school and haven't improved in the 40 years since. If you let slip anything personal they use it as gossip-fodder and if you keep yourself to yourself you're 'snooty'... The after-school-pick-up mum crowd are just appalling nosey-parkers so I give them a wide berth. There are some non-bitchy women out there - just a case of picking your friends carefully.

[Goblinchild]

I work in a female-dominated environment and have colleagues and friends amongst them. polite, friendly and civilised but I don't share real confidences with them, or feel comfortable with inviting them into my home
My four best friends are all male.
Less judgey, and they are always more interested in the conversation and the food that what I or my home look like. They don't tend to offer off the cuff advice on how to deal with what they see as 'issues' I should deal with.
I've always found the company of men more relaxing, make of that what you will.

[kittywise]

Both men and women can be equally vile, just it tends to be in dfferent ways.

[Longtalljosie]

Had this woman been drinking? Some people turn into absolute horrors as soon as they've had a drink...

[vinocollapso]

Ignore her - she's not going to have many friends for much longer anyway by the sounds of it, and you don't people to think you're like her!

In my experience gender has nothing to do with someone being a twat - we just process their idiosyncrasies in different ways as we're used to calling women 'bitchy' and rolling our eyes when 'men are men.'

And a first class degree is no indication of intelligence!

You sound lovely, Dinky, you're bound to make some new and nice friends soon!

[PlumBumMum]

What about the other women who were out, how did you get on with them?

Sounds like your a lovely person and she was just jealous, maybe another girl in the group that she likes, suggested you come along and has commented how nice you were, and this girl was jealous

(can you tell this has happened to me?)Same experiences as Chil1234 but when you find the right girl friends they are not like that at all

[Forest79]

I don't make friends with women very easily at all. Most of my friends have always been male.

[Chil1234]

"we just process their idiosyncrasies in different ways"

That's not quite true. Women, in my experience, are masters at finding your weak-spot and exploiting it. Winkling out personal details and storing them up for later use. Offering advice on 'issues' (as someone else pointed out) and sharing those 'issues' with everyone else. The men I know that indulge in this kind of behaviour tend to be gay....