Wanted: A Family of My Own 15/05/14

(45 Posts)

Hi all

Wanted: A Family of My Own - tonight did anyone see it? What do you think?

The foster family of Tom were lovely.

That single adopter was super woman, so great.

Hope the Scottish couple find their match for two children. two under two is quite a tall order but I know that these matches exist so hope it works out for them.

Lilka Fri 16-May-14 00:53:47

Ah dammit I missed it

Thanks Italian, I'll watch it sometimes tomorrow or the weekend

passmethewineplease Fri 16-May-14 01:11:12

I watched it, I don't know the first thing about adoption though.

Tom was adorable, I am glad he found a family, his mum was lovely.

I really felt for the Scottish couple, to go through the trauma of losing their child like that, I hope they find their match soon.

One thing I have learnt...always have the tissues nearby.

MyFeetAreCold Fri 16-May-14 08:31:38

I was a bit hmm that they sent two SWs to tell Edinburgh couple there was no news. No wonder everything takes so long. Couldn't they have phoned?

Bournemouth Mum is practically a superhero in my eyes.

Totally agree on both counts coldfeet. was that visit for the cameras????

UnderTheNameOfSanders Fri 16-May-14 10:31:17

I agree myfeet , maybe there are different protocols in Scotland? We waited 15 months for our match, and after 12 there was a review to see whether anything needed to change, this I think has more than just our SW present, but I may be misremembering.

I've been enjoying this series, still would like to see some more older children being placed though.

CalamityKate1 Fri 16-May-14 11:23:55

I never get broody. But Tom was just adorable. Just wanted to scoop him up and squidge him!

Loving this series.

lovehopejoy Fri 16-May-14 12:01:46

As a newbie I've really enjoyed this series, just wish it hadn't come to an end....and as for Tom....wasn't he adorable and Claire was just fabulous! And I love that she has embraced deaf culture and sign language - exactly what deaf children need. What will I do with my Thursday evenings now?!

MyFeetAreCold Fri 16-May-14 12:07:57

Hang out talking rubbish with us here, lovejoy. wink

MyFeetAreCold Fri 16-May-14 12:15:53

I think the only times I've seen two SWs at once are at LAC reviews and when our SW brought DCs SW to meet us for the first time.

It did look very much like a visit for the camera's sake.

It's also a bit horrific they're only looking for a match in 'the Edinburgh area'. I don't know why it's not normal that you look more widely, more quickly. Edinburgh's not even big. sad

Whatutalkinboutwillis Fri 16-May-14 12:45:34

I know someone who knows the scottish couple they still don't have a match to this day, hope it comes soon

MissBlake Fri 16-May-14 13:50:36

I am not an adoptive parent yet so may be talking out of my a* here, but I was wondering why they had not extended the search area? I was thinking that it may be because siblings under 2 are fairly easy to place and are being matched with adopters from the la they are in? Is scotland the same as uk where matching can take place country wide?

Its sad they have not got a match yet, hopefully they will get to be parents soon.

MrsM2509 Fri 16-May-14 14:38:41

I'm near the end of assessment in Scotland, and yes we have access to more than just the area we live in, so it's not a Scottish thing, I reckon it could just be that the couple want a child from edinburgh for some reason. I know that with my la, we have access to the others in Scotland (and I think throughout uk) and I'm not too far from Edinburgh

Itsfab Fri 16-May-14 14:42:02

My recorder let me down so I missed the last bit. I saw up to Nicky going to see Tom and his mum smile when she had had him for 10 weeks. Did anything happen after that?

GirlsWhoWearGlasses Sat 17-May-14 05:56:42

With our LA we were told we'd have to be matched for a year before they'd support us looking wider than our own area. They said that's because they'd put all the resources into having us approved. Edinburgh may well be the same.

Whatutalkinboutwillis that is so sad they have not yet got a match. I wonder why they want siblings straight away, why not adopt one and then another later if they really want under age 2. Under age 2 siblings are, in my limited knowledge, not necessarily easy to place, I do know someone who was interested in such a match, actually two couples but the majority I know are looking for one child.

In England and Wales you can join the register and be matched with kids all over that region. Not sure what the situation is in Scotland.

Itsfab I won't spoil it for you, you can watch it here....

https://www.itv.com/itvplayer/wanted-a-family-of-my-own

Sorry .... In England and Wales you can join the register and be matched with kids all over that region three months after being approved.

GirlsWhoWearGlasses how long ago was that? Nowadays they local authorities are obliged to refer you to England and Wales adoption register after 3 months of waiting. And people can self refer. If you go with a different county I think your county or authority gets 'paid'.

MrsM2509 Sat 17-May-14 12:16:21

Italian it's done the same up here in Scotland, with your own LA for three months then are On register for further afield. I can't remember the official name for it. I'm assuming the couple specifically want the Edinburgh area, I know in my area there are a lot of sibling groups waiting for families, and I'm not too far from Edinburgh. A couple atmy prep group in January were hoping for a young sibling group and were told if they got approved they wouldn't have long to wait as there were a lot of siblings.

GirlsWhoWearGlasses Sat 17-May-14 13:51:03

We are in Scotland and only adopted in the past year.

Whilst it's true that Scotland's Adoption Register says that you should be able to be referred after three months, in practice, our LA refuses to refer you until a year has gone by. Given that your SW needs to refer you, this leaves you a bit stuck.

GirlsWhoWearGlasses Sat 17-May-14 13:52:35

I know you can self-refer in England and I think this would be much fairer.

MissBlake Sat 17-May-14 14:57:26

Thats a bit clearer now. I don't really need to know as I don't live in scotland but I want to know as much as I can before I apply, but I feel a bit :S about posting here , since Im not an adopter/being approved yet.

Lilka Sat 17-May-14 15:07:55

No need to feel that way MissBlake! I seem to remember Italian for one posting quite regularly several years before she applied. I doesn't matter where people are in the process, all are welcome smile

Itsfab Sat 17-May-14 15:37:35

Thank you Italiangreyhound. Tom is adorable. So happy to see he had learnt to crawl and said mum smile.

I would love to be able to foster or adopt and feel crap I can't. I wonder if there are other ways of giving time to children without a family confused.

Velvet1973 Sat 17-May-14 21:10:19

It's been a great program for us and our family just onto stage 2 of the process. It's opened everyone's eyes a bit more and made things clearer as to the process. I agree it's a shame there hasn't been more on families who have had their children placed a while. Would be interested to see the different experiences.
Toms mum was amazing and as her sw said she just loves being a mum, I'm so glad that he has her as his mum to really help him fulfil his full potential. Fc's were great too and obviously found it understandably hard to see him move on.
I felt sad for the Edinburgh couple having gone through what they did, I do wonder if they will ever get their match. 2 siblings under 2 with no health implications and looking in such a small search area seems highly unlikely but I hope I'm wrong on that one.

Karbea Sat 17-May-14 22:04:45

I do wonder about the Scottish couple, why did they want a sibling group straight away and were they purposely making it hard for themselves to protect themselves iykwim. I can't imagine that there are that many sibling groups available under 2, for a start the birth mum would have needed to have become pregnant very fast after the first, plus the second baby would need to be very young at the time he/she was available for adoption.

It just came across as some kind of subliminal protection thing.

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