I'm so very depressed. I don't know how I'm going to face the day. I don't know how to pretend to enjoy dd's company for the day. I've already had to deal with behaviour and it's still dark outside, I've got a headache which is cracking my skull open, I wish someone would press rewind and go back to when there was no small person dependent on me. Every day is a chore. I'm crap at being a mother and don't enjoy it. I'm just no fun at all. I'm dreading our adoption order and celebration hearing because I don't have anything to celebrate. I just want to hide and hope that I wake up and none of this has happened. Someone suggested I should disrupt the placement because my depression will be unhealthy for my lo. But I've made a commitment to her... Surely it gets better?
Please please don't be harsh with me. It will finish me off and I'll crumble. Please has someone else been through this? I don't know how much longer I can take it. I'm so so lonely and sit in tears most evenings after she's gone to bed.
Dd is an older child and we are about 6 months into placement .. just her and me. Everything they told me to expect with an adopted child has been thrown at me (lying, control, tantrums, regression, smacking, criticising me, hating me, etc etc etc) but the funny thing is all the bloody useless social workers said that they never expected such challenging behaviour from her.
Please can someone tell me how I can start enjoy being a mum? Surely I shouldn't disrupt because of feeling like this? Surely it will go away? But what if it doesn't?
That poor little kid upstairs has been passed from pillar to post and she's ended up with a miserable mummy who can't even remember why she wanted to be a mummy.
I don't know what to do.
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67 replies
crazeekitty · 14/02/2014 07:06
OP posts:
MrsWolowitz ·
14/02/2014 07:52
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Message withdrawn at poster's request.
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