I Miss Christmas

[SomeCandyTalking]

I love Christmas more than any other celebration throughout the year and from September 1st I am usually counting down the days. We've always spent a week celebrating it with lots of different activities and traditions and its a very big deal in our house.

Last year however it was such a damp squib compared with other years. The problem is that now the children are grown up almost (19 and 16) a lot of our traditions have been outgrown and Christmas has lost some of its magic. They spent a lot of time in their rooms and some of the traditions just don't work anymore.


What do people with adult and older teens only do to keep Christmas special? I think this Christmas needs to rely less on old traditions and maybe introduce some new ideas to replace them.

Please help me breathe new life into our Christmas.

[CiderwithBuda]

My mum got over this by having another baby. Possibly not helpful advice,

Our xmases are different now too as DS is 13 and an only. We have had MIL here for last two xmases and have played board games around the table for a bit late morning with champagne for those who want it (mainly me!). It's quite nice and fun and we can still potter in the kitchen as needed.

DS is quite good at not disappearing and letting Grandma try to play playstation with him!

We eat around 4 and then play Trivial Pursuit.

[SomeCandyTalking]

Don't think I can go down the new baby route and I'm not ready for grand children just yet

I do like the idea of more board games though. On holiday this year they were still very popular.

[CiderwithBuda]

The new baby my mum had is fifteen years younger than me and this year she, her DH and my five year old niece and my dad are coming over from Ireland for Xmas. We might have MIL as well. I am really looking forward to it. But it will be funny having to take a five year old into account. I'm hoping to have an excuse to finally watch Frozen!

[Inkspellme]

I think sometimes you just have to accept change and move on from that. you sound like you have given your children some fantastic memories from a lot of effort and thought on your behalf. What do you like to do together? If you can maybe adapt some of that into a Christmas activity you could do that.

I have a 12 year old ds and a 17year old dd. some of our traditions still go on - others they have outgrown. Santa still comes and we all get up together to see what Santa has brought. Christmas Eve night we exchange gifts to each other. Things that have gone include reindeer food, visits to santa grotto. suprisingly some other stuff stayed - letters to santa (I have no idea why- they just do this one on my ds' s birthday) food and drink for santa - they just put food out that they know we like.

If I was to look at how we do things I would say that we have just let things happen that they are interested in. There has been nothing we have insisted on staying as "it's a tradition". If it's fun and someone wants to do it we generally will do it.

I think traditions happen as something is enjoyable but you can't just decide something is a tradition and now you must do this every year. I suppose what I am trying to say is to relax and enjoy the change and look for the positive.

[SomeCandyTalking]

Inkspellme

I think you have hit the nail...I have to accept the change don't I.

I need a new plan for Christmas Eve, Day and Boxing Day that takes into account that it might just be a little more relaxed too.

I love that your children still do their Santa letters btw.

[LapsedTwentysomething]

How about making sure you've got a really great movie to watch in PJs as well as the board games - given that Christmas TV is invariably shit?

[TelephoneTree]

As an adult pre kids, what I really loved was sitting in front of the fire (lucky enough to have one), just nibbling at stuff / watching films, reading, chatting, pottering….

[casperandjasper]

We experience this as DS's are 25 & 17, so we've tried to come up with new ideas to keep the Christmassy feeling going.
For the last couple of years we've had a nice candlelit dinner on Christmas Eve (DS1's girlfriend comes along too, before they go out). After the dinner we have a Christmas quiz - complete with prize (voucher) and specially engraved trophy (bought from Ebay for about £5) - where everyone contributes their own set of questions.
We also give them small gimmicky table presents (spend about £10 each on them) and scratchcards.
We have festive board game nights - I try to buy a new game each year.
I'm still thinking of what else we can do.

I'm very jealous that MN wasn't around with all the lovely ideas when my children were young - I would have loved to do the Christmas Eve hamper, covered the doors with Christmas paper and Elf on the Shelf!

[MrsMinton]

Could you eat breakfast out on Boxing Day or maybe book tickets to see something at the cinema or theatre?

[casperandjasper]

A couple more ideas:

• we have a baking day. DS1 & DH won't join in but will eat the results. So DS2 and DS1's girlfriend and I bake gingerbread men or Christmas log or whatever. A bit childish I know but good fun.
  
• we always have a day out Christmas shopping, lunch and Christmas markets with gluhwein - yummy.
  
• for the last 2 years we've been to see the latest episode of the Hobbit films (out around December).

[ThoseArentPillows]

casperandjasper those are some fantastic ideas! I might steal the quiz one if that's ok

[ContactIssue]

We used to have a nice meal on Christmas Eve and then open a couple of small presents each (including PJs). Then we'd have a glass of mulled wine and watch TV together (in our new PJs) before going to bed.

Our step dad makes us a gift bag of Thornton's chocolates every year. We play games and watch crap TV after lunch. Then we go to my uncles in the evening and watch the Christmas episode or Dr Who, Royale Family etc.

We tend to have a long walk on Boxing Day (weather permitting) and often visit SF's parents.

We also go to the markets and local garden centres in the run up to Xmas. We also decorate the tree together and do crafty things as well as some baking.

[casperandjasper]

Those- you're welcome

[Chottie]

We have a nice Christmas Eve meal too by candlelight. Christmas Day is much more relaxed. DCs sleep in and get up when they want to. DH and I have an early morning coffee today and then go out for a walk. It's amazing how many people there are out and about dog walkers, little ones trying out scooters and families packing up to go out for the day. Everyone seems more cheery and exchanges Christmas wishes.

By the time we get back, DCs are stirring, so Christmas music goes on and we have a leisurely brunch with stockings. We eat Christmas dinner at about 4.00pm and it is always in the dining room and by candlelight. We exhange presents during the afternoon and watch some TV or a film. Boxing Day we go for a walk and just have an informal supper of Christmas left overs.

[Inkspellme]

some really great ideas here. when I look back on all the christmases my dh and I have had together it does make me realise that it's a changing celebration.

I usually end up having some family board game with my sister or my inlaws. I think this year I might introduce the idea of the trophy which we can play for each year. Thanks for the great ideas!

[Pollywallywinkles]

DD has long since left home, but our old traditions still continue. Probably down to the fact that she still loves Christmas and wants it to continue as it always had.

It must be difficult if others no longer get the Christmas magic or want to spend the time together as a family.

It sounds like you need something to get them out of their rooms. What would they like to do as a family that is Christmassy?

[SomeCandyTalking]

Some great ideas here and I'm glad that I'm not the only one who has felt like this.

The Christmas Quiz is definitely one for this year. We love playing games as a family so that's in.

[StupidFlanders]

We decorate our house with lights- my dcs are too young to really help but I was inspired by a 20(ish) year old we met who decorated their house each year with his grandfather. It's always fun planning new light purchases and wiring (hmmm that may just be us- our street goes overboard!)

I think another big part to keep the spirit alive is letting them influence traditions and create some - you're modelling a great attitude, they will join in.

[StupidFlanders]

My friend with grown up dcs also get her dcs to decide the decorating theme each year and everything that involves down to the meal planning and prep.

[NCIS]

I have three DC's 22,21 and 18 so Christmas has been changing over the past few years. We still do a lot of the old traditions like stockings and particular food plus Christmas films on Christmas eve followed by midnight mass (I'm surprised the kids still want to come to this) and then on Christmas night we all play board games or cards.
I try and invite someone else which makes it more of an occasion. I can normally find someone who would be on their own otherwise.

I think this year may be tougher as my DD has started work as a nurse and will almost certainly be working over christmas and as she lives 2 hours away we won't see her

[TheFantasticMrsFox]

We have my DPs over which makes it an occasion in itself as they live 250 miles away.
Christmas Eve or Boxing Day (depending on our plans) we take a long walk with the dogs up a big hill. We take along a flask of hot chocolate and some warm mince pies wrapped in foil and eat them at the top. This is a new tradition that has evolved as DS has got older but I wish I'd started it years ago :)

[KittyandTeal]

My mum used to buy a new board game every year for us to work out. We also have a tradition of playing marjong very badly as we all forget the rules etc.

It took a few years of adjustments but my dbro now helps with the cooking. We get him a silly present like Lego (he's 31) that we all make together.

It's all changed again now with our dd but we are making new traditions.

I think the trick is to take what they enjoy and keep doing it, don't force it.

In the flip side my pil have 'quirky traditions' that aren't at all, mil had heard or read about them and tries to force them on us, it's not fun, it feels like fake fun for the sake of photos. Please avoid this.

[katienana]

Why don't you ask your kids what they would like to do over Christmas? If they don't come up with anything organise some nights out for you and your DH, cinema, comedy night, pub, meal etc.

I'm 30 now and Christmas has kind of come full circle now I'm a mum myself, but pre 2011 when the first grandchild was born Christmas was quite a boozy affair (maybe not ideal with your 16 year old granted). We always did a Christmas quiz, maybe went to the pub quiz one night, would go out drinking Xmas Eve (mum and dad stayed home for that one), go to a football match usually. It helps that there are 3 of us and our partners all get on well.
I think you should embrace the new Christmas and how relaxed it is, see it as a rest before grandkids come along in about 10 years time!

[Ragwort]

My teenage DS is off on a skiing trip on Boxing Day so looking forward to some adult time - nothing smutty, DH and I thought we might do some decorating this Christmas .

Other than that I think it's up to the teenagers to give some ideas of what they would like to do rather than 'force' a jolly time on everyone. I used to work on Christmas Day when I was a teen, great money and no one else wanted to do it - restaurants and then old folks home.

[Thereshallbeaspirin]

When we were teenagers my mum started a tradition whereby from 5pm onwards Xmas day it was open house at ours for all our friends. We loved it. It wasn't a party or anything, but our mates could get away from their own claustrophobic houses, grab a snack and join in watching dvd stuff like Blues Brothers. Then on Boxing Day the kids had to clear up everything and then we had to make mum & dad lunch, with each of us responsible for one course. It was a hoot, and we'd all try to outdo each other.