Why do people do this?

[IHeartLockhart]

This is my first post on this board, it's rather trivial but it's pissed me off.
I put a status on Facebook saying I wish Cheryl Cole (is she still called that?) would smile more often and got a reply off a male acquaintance that I'm jealous of her ridiculous figure and good looks

Why do people set women up to compete against each other like this? It's so frustrating! It's great that she's attractive, good for her.

Sorry, it's probably my own fault for judging her for not smiling more often, I just needed a mini rant about it.

[ouryve]

I have memories of being right pissed off, as a teen, at being repeatedly told I should smile.

It still grates when I see people do that to others.

Some people just aren't smiley.

Now, if you criticised her lack of actual singing ability, I'd have no issue.

[elephanteraser]

i wish cheryl cole would fuck off

[IHeartLockhart]

Well me to elephant, maybe we are both jealous of her.

I miss Nicole. At least she livened things up a bit.

[gincamparidryvermouth]

Why do you want her to smile?

[AnnieLobeseder]

Not sure why you feel she should smile for you. Despite all evidence to the contrary, she was not put on this planet for decorative purposes.

I understand that your feminist slant on this is how people tend to assume jealousy when a "less decorative" woman dares to criticise a "more decorative" woman in any way.

But the expectation that women should smile, suck up whatever problems they have or cast personal preferences to simply Not Smile aside, just to make the world a more aesthetic place is a far bigger feminist issue, IMO.

[SuperLoudPoppingAction]

I hate that though - when women talk about another woman's behaviour, we are often told it's because we all secretly aspire to be objectified in the same way they are, and as publicly.

I think often when public figures in that kind of model/singer/actor role are not-smiling, it's quite different to women on the street not-smiling. It's posing - pouting and looking sultry.
I remember seeing Little Mix and three out of four of them performed their whole set without smiling. That's not because they didn't want to smile - it's choreographed.
So I think it's for aesthetic value - I don't really get it though - why women are being told not to smile, while the rest of us on the street are told off if we don't.

[IHeartLockhart]

I don't want her to smile for me though. I just feel that if you are being paid to be on an entertainment show you should be providing some form of entertainment, not just sitting there with a sultry/moody look on your face.

[SevenZarkSeven]

I agree with Annie and buffy.

Whether she smiles or not is up to her.

Your friend was a total cock.

[TheSameBoat]

"jealous of her ridiculous figure and good looks"?

Of course women are jealous! Are we not supposed to be? Isn't that the whole point of bombarding women with images of beautiful have-it-all women, of choosing the young pretty ones for recognition whilst ignoring the others. Isn't the whole point to make us all jealous and judgey of each other and clamour for a little bit of self-esteem by spending a shit load of money on "you're worth it" products?

I mean, FGS, it would be surprising if women weren't jealous of each other!

[SevenZarkSeven]

Well not really TheSameBoat.

Jealous implies a level of ill-feeling, of malice even.

I am perfectly capable of thinking someone looks nice without wanting to do them down in any way because of it. I'm sure most people are.

Women are often told that things they complain about are because they're jealous. It's an attempt to get them to shut up.

[SuperLoudPoppingAction]

I'm really not jealous of other women's bodies.

But we are supposed to be, definitely.

[smellysocksandchickenpox]

I don't really think you have the femist high ground on this one. Would you say the same about a brooding male celeb?

[Anonnynonny]

WTF? Some bloke has the temerity to tell you how you feel?

I'd unfriend him tbh.

[buwegevove]

@OP, who the hell are you to tell other adults if they need to "smile more"?

Would you like it if someone took paparrazi pics of you and put them online and then we all judged if you needed to smile more?

[IHeartLockhart]

I would most definitely say the same about a moody man. Who wants to watch moody people on an entertainment programme?! I don't tell people in the street to smile, but I do feel that when you're being paid however many millions to be on a telly show the least you could do would be to crack a grin.

buwegevove you're right, I wouldn't like it. It's that main reason I've never sought to be a celebrity.

I think you're right about the ill feeling. I feel nothing of the sort. I'm comfortable enough in my own skin to not wish to be like someone else.

[TheSameBoat]

Soz, was being bit sarky. Just having a dig at the idea of society constantly pitting women against each other yet slating them for being jealous.

TBH, I've always liked CC for her smiliness (is that a word) and regularly curse Andy M for never cracking a smile. I know I know it's not his fault and he's a nice person but it just seems to be that women are expected to be the smiley ones whilst men's lack of smiliness is seen as a sign of seriousness. Am probably over speculating there so I think Buffy should do that for her research: who smiles more and do we take those who smile less more seriously?

[FunkyBoldRibena]

What has it got to do with you whether she smiles or not...

[itsbetterthanabox]

It's a way of telling you that you cannot avoid needing men's approval. It's so difficult to combat.
There is a South Park episode called 'the hobbit' that deals with topic exactly. Honestly it's very well done and worth watching.

[SolidGoldBrass]

Maybe she's not smiling because she's sick of wankers telling her she should. Not that it's any of your business anyway. Even if you 'pay her wages' by purchasing some of her records (or books, or perfume line or any other product she earns money from) that doesn't mean you've bought her and she has to obey you.