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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

what do you think about this 'rape poem'?

20 replies

mousmous · 13/12/2013 23:50

I saw this on the news and found it refreshing that it isn't the usual victim blaming stuff even though I hate poems in adverts
was a bit shocked at the reaction from the woman's charity.

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mousmous · 13/12/2013 23:50
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BuffytheElfSquisher · 13/12/2013 23:57

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

peppapigmustdie · 14/12/2013 00:09

Sorry,you have only linked to the story not the poem.

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peppapigmustdie · 14/12/2013 00:11

Might just be me then sorry, will google poem.

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Daykin · 14/12/2013 00:13

The same police force have just had to withdraw an offensive advent calendar. They are also shit at catching criminals and doing general police work. (Guess where I live)

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tracypenisbeaker · 14/12/2013 00:23

It looks like it was thrown together written by someone who has no experience of sexual assault- just what it might be like in their head. I don't understand the messy hair and lipstick reference- is that the uniform of a rape victim? Confused

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ninah · 14/12/2013 00:27

absolute doggerel in sentiment and in execution

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DontCallMeBaby · 14/12/2013 00:36

That IS a fucking awful excuse for a poem, and it's far too long for any sort of awareness campaign.

I get the messy hair and lipstick though - she's been out for a night on the town, maybe drunk, it's still NOT HER FAULT.

I can see the police reaction here - we come up with a [piss poor] "don't rape" campaign and we're told "tell women to keep themselves safe" instead. Can't win. But may be actually work with the people who are criticising the "keep yourself safe" campaigns rather than coming up with something crap in isolation.

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Thisisaghostlyeuphemism · 14/12/2013 09:06

This was discussed on the radio this morning.

At best it's entirely pointless- utterly. At worst, it's offensive.

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JinglingRexManningDay · 14/12/2013 09:27

I give up,I really do. I get the sentiment of the poem but it just seems so trivialising and advice for women to keep themselves safe from a womens charity.

When I was in my teens when dinosaurs roamed the earth the advice was if you are being attacked,just let him rape you because if you fight back he will kill you. Things are moving slowly forwards,I saw a post on Facebook by my niece saying something like If shes drunk,she can't consent. Don't be a rapist. There were loads of likes but some awful comments from both men and women along the lines of that's what she gets for being drunk.

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Thisisaghostlyeuphemism · 14/12/2013 11:00

Surely, their campaign should simply be; if you rape, we will find you and you'll end up in jail for many years.

I suppose the trouble is with that is it probably isn't true.

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sashh · 14/12/2013 11:14

I think the poem is terrible but I am so fucking angry about how it has been justified



Notts Police superintendent Helen Chamberlain, Head of Public Protection is quoted as saying.


"Our message to men is that it’s not acceptable to take advantage of a woman because she has had a drink or is being sociable. And women shouldn’t have to tolerate or be forced to guard themselves from predatory behaviour."

“If a woman has had something to drink or is talking to you, sharing a lift with you, it doesn’t necessarily mean she is consenting to any sexual contact.”


So that's OK then, you might be consenting if you share a lift. Er, this is from a senior police officer.

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mousmous · 14/12/2013 11:43

I think her statement is pretty good, actually.
she says it is not ok to imply consent in those situation. sadly some idividuals need it spelled out.

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Golddigger · 14/12/2013 11:54

Although I think it is bad, it is good too?
It has got people talking and thinking?

The sharing a lift made me think more about that aspect that I had before. Enough to mean that I am going to have a talk with my older children, boys and girls.
Quite easy to share a lift with someone you know vaguely or a little and not think that there is a potential problem.

Thisisaghost. No that wouldnt do at all.

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sashh · 14/12/2013 12:33

she says it is not ok to imply consent in those situation.

But she says 'not necessarily' which means that sometimes it is consent. Surely it is never consent?

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CaptChaosGlitteryBaubles · 14/12/2013 15:13

The poem is bloody awful, the statement by the spokesperson was horrendous, I have never implied consent to sex by getting into a lift, a cab or even a bed with someone, and to suggest that it might give tacit consent is repulsive.

OTOH, at least it's a change from the usual, 'don't wear a short skirt', 'don't get drunk', 'don't flirt', 'stay indoors and behave like a blushing virgin' bullshit various Police forces usually pump out. They would perhaps have done better by liaising with DV and VAW groups beforehand to get a better idea of what would be appropriate, but it is at least a start. They are also running this campaign about DV.

The bit that made me saddest was where the rep from the women's charity basically put the responsibility for rape back onto women Sad

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HowlingTrap · 16/12/2013 10:37

I don't see how its offensive , but perhaps a bit thrown together.

us women have waiting for ads with this sentiment, surely the quality of the poem is a side issue surely? :S

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LouiseSmith · 01/01/2014 14:10

I like it. I don't see how its offensive, not well structured. But I like the general message. We put to much blame on the victims, how a woman is dressed, and how drunk she was seem to factor, more than the actual crime.

Doesn't matter if a women is as naked as the day she was born, that doesn't give "men" the right to assume she is up for it.

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NiceTabard · 01/01/2014 19:04

I don't mind the poem particularly. It's different from the usual victim blaming tosh.

Mind boggled at the comment from the women's charity. They need to have a rethink.

I feel a bit for the police who have listened to feedback and tried something different - talking to perpetrators rather than victims - and are getting clobbered anyway. It will take time for teh messages to change but this is generally a step in the right direction even if it is clumsy and frankly slightly odd.

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SolidGoldBrass · 02/01/2014 12:29

Poem is bad but intentions are good. Not great but better than the usual stuff about Women Don't Drink Too Much1

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